(no subject)
the only human interaction i get from people at work is someone yelling at me. i just need to last one more month and then they can fire me and i can get unemployment until i find another job. there are so many jobs available left and right, so you would think that it would be easy to get another one. no way! there are 5 times as many people looking for jobs, if not more. i know numerous friends of mine that are jobless and desperate right now. why should i be lucky enough to find a job while already having another. i do not think i have ever been more confused in my life. i could go back to charleston, where i enjoy the people and atmosphere better (most of the time) or i can stay here where i can not stand a lot of the way people treat others and the job thing, and just tough it out. why not just go back? what opportunities do i really have in charleston, as opposed to here? i cry almost every day, but i still love going to the park on my lunch break and kicking of my shoes and laying back listening right where the hustle and bustle meets serenity. i never got to be a kid. i am only 20 years old and i am forced into working over 40 hours a week with pay that does not help my debts, what so ever. when did all of this happen? and why do some people have it so easy all the time and i am lucky to catch a light break every few years. i have been seriously contimplating extreme measures to making enough money to live comfortably. i am getting married to a boy in order for him to get his green card. i think. my rent in manhattan would be taken care of for 2 years. there is a lot more to it then that. and it would not happen for a long while. i may not even be in nyc or alive then, who knows? it is my dad's birthday, so i called him this morning. he was trying to convince me to go back to myrtle beach and work at the grocery store down the street from my parents house. is he kidding? i mean, really. i do not have a liscence, what the hell would i do in myrtle beach, aside from being more miserable there than i am here. not to mention, what if me going back home ended up like last time? with my dad and my friends blood all over each other and me being thrown on the streets for no apparent reason. it seems like that want to make themselves feel better by getting me back but do not care about the way i feel at all. i really miss my mom and want to be with her. and for some of you, no! this does not mean that i need to be put on suicide watch. it just means that if i know something were going to happen to me, i might not do anything to prevent it. hell, my job can not even give me health insurance and i was supposed to start getting it almost 2 months ago. i mention it and get ignored, like always. anyways, this was me venting not really for anything to take the time to read.