On... myself, freedom of speech, and cars that go smash
"Just saw a Honda rearend a Benz ML. Honda is fucked, Benz has a scratch on his bumper. Suxxorz."
This was a Facebook status update (or whatever they call them now) of mine earlier today. This happened, literally, next to me with two cars oncoming. Now, no one was hurt, as the Honda rearended the Benz at probably 4-6 mph. Basically the equivalent of running face-first into a glass door *raises hand* (eh-hem) and certainly not fast enough to cause injury to anything but the cars (or in this case, the Honda... buy a Benz?). Apparently some of my older Facebook "friends" had a problem with this update for one or both of the following reasons:
1. Fuck.
2. Car go smash, lawl.
Now. My response to reason 1:
The exact words of Amendment 1 of the United States Constitution Bill of Rights states read;
"Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances."
Now, as far as I know there is no law in existence here in Massachusetts, Maine, Facebook, the Internet, etc that states that I may not curse. So: Fuck, shit, hell, пиздец, блядь, putain, merde, scheiße, etc. If you don't like it, do not read it. There are also convenient features within Facebook that allow you to, for instance, block my status updates, "un-friend" me, etc. I know "a lot of people see this" and frankly, I do not care. I'm fucking tired of tip-toeing around people, hiding who I am, getting ditched, used, walked on. So fuck y'all. If you don't like me, you or certainly free to not associate with me. It is well within your right. On that note, it is also within your right to respond and scold me or whatever you feel you need to do. This, however, will not change who I am or what I do. Believe me, I think things through likely more often and ad nauseam than you do. I posted "fucked". I know I posted "fucked". I watched myself type it. I re-read for spelling and grammar errors and I-clicked-send. You know why? Because I don't care what people think of me. I know who my real friends are and they don't scold me for swearing constantly, because they accept me for who I am.
On the matter of "car go smash, lawl":
I've been in two car accidents. I've been rearended and I have rearended someone else (in this case a huge truck that didn't even notice...) and my car became the lunch truck's lunch one day at Prime Hyundai. My best friend was nearly killed in a car accident. But he wasn't and now it's funny.
Now, my first accident was in my mom's Jeep Cherokee in February 2006 when I was 17. An SUV stopped ahead of me for a pedestrian. I stopped. The Trail Blazer behind me stopped. The Ford F250 behind her, going 50 mph in a 30 zone up the hill smashed into the Blazer, which smashed into me. Anyone who knew me at the time knows that this was traumatic for one reason. I pulled out of the way and got out. I went to the Blazer to check on the mother and daughter. The daughter was visibly upset and shaken. She was probably two years younger than me. Her mother was far more concerned with the fact that her newly purchased car was now smashed at both ends rather than the state that her daughter was in. After determining that they were physically okay, I went to the truck. The man had three young kids in the truck, likely ranging from 5 to 10. He too was more pissed about the truck than concerned with the safety of his children (well, obviously since he was speeding to begin with), who thankfully were physically okay, but crying. I called 911. Not the 40+ year old adults, mind you. Me. The 17 year old high school kid. That was not funny.
My second accident happened two summers ago in August. I received some bad news about a friend when I got home from work (Prime Mercedes-Benz *plug plug*). I took a shower to try to calm down and couldn't. I made the mistake of going back to work to talk about it with my "boss-bro", Rob. I smashed into the ass end of a semi trailer shortly after I left again. I wasn't paying enough attention, someone ran across the street, the truck slammed on his brakes and I mine, but a second too late. The truck didn't notice, and my car was fine except for the fast the hood was crunched and the headlights scratched. It was a bad day. But now, it's funny. It's funny because nothing happened. No one was hurt and there were no typical materialistic Americans involved. Funny. I laugh when I think about it.
The third crash occurred the following winter. I brought my Tib into Prime Hyundai *plug plug* to get the e-brake tightened. It was happily sitting in the bay waiting to leave when the lunch truck decided to eat it. According to my service rep, she and a few mechanics were yelling at the guy to stop backing up. What I saw was my rep running into my salesman's (he was and is a business manager now) office. She said "the lunch truck just ran into your car". I laughed, I thought it was a joke. It wasn't. Hood replacement #2. I brought the car a few meters down the road to the Prime body shop... And the lunch truck pulled in to serve them lunch. Again, no one was hurt and yes I was fuming at the time. That is also funny. Hilarious even because it is something out of a comedy show.
So. When cars go smash, it's funny. When people are hurt, it's not funny. When cars go smash and people remain completely self-absorbed and materialistic and care more about a hunk of metal than their own flesh and blood or anyone else's flesh and blood, it's not funny. It's fucking sad. This coming from someone who over-identifies with her automobile (Enki has feelings... do not insult him).
So, please do not give me flak for posting a minor car accident and finding it hilarious. I did not post when I saw a pileup on i-495, or an jack-knifed truck or a disfigured, upside-down Honda Fit in the median. I see mangled cars and blood on the highway more often than I'd like but there's nothing you can do. People get hurt and people die. Sometimes its funny, sometimes it's not. I just hope that when I die people will laugh.
P.S. Two piss-drunk girls drove off a cliff into the ocean in Maine recently. They were not hurt, but they were involved in a "deep conversation" and apparently didn't notice that they were off the road.
This was a Facebook status update (or whatever they call them now) of mine earlier today. This happened, literally, next to me with two cars oncoming. Now, no one was hurt, as the Honda rearended the Benz at probably 4-6 mph. Basically the equivalent of running face-first into a glass door *raises hand* (eh-hem) and certainly not fast enough to cause injury to anything but the cars (or in this case, the Honda... buy a Benz?). Apparently some of my older Facebook "friends" had a problem with this update for one or both of the following reasons:
1. Fuck.
2. Car go smash, lawl.
Now. My response to reason 1:
The exact words of Amendment 1 of the United States Constitution Bill of Rights states read;
"Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances."
Now, as far as I know there is no law in existence here in Massachusetts, Maine, Facebook, the Internet, etc that states that I may not curse. So: Fuck, shit, hell, пиздец, блядь, putain, merde, scheiße, etc. If you don't like it, do not read it. There are also convenient features within Facebook that allow you to, for instance, block my status updates, "un-friend" me, etc. I know "a lot of people see this" and frankly, I do not care. I'm fucking tired of tip-toeing around people, hiding who I am, getting ditched, used, walked on. So fuck y'all. If you don't like me, you or certainly free to not associate with me. It is well within your right. On that note, it is also within your right to respond and scold me or whatever you feel you need to do. This, however, will not change who I am or what I do. Believe me, I think things through likely more often and ad nauseam than you do. I posted "fucked". I know I posted "fucked". I watched myself type it. I re-read for spelling and grammar errors and I-clicked-send. You know why? Because I don't care what people think of me. I know who my real friends are and they don't scold me for swearing constantly, because they accept me for who I am.
On the matter of "car go smash, lawl":
I've been in two car accidents. I've been rearended and I have rearended someone else (in this case a huge truck that didn't even notice...) and my car became the lunch truck's lunch one day at Prime Hyundai. My best friend was nearly killed in a car accident. But he wasn't and now it's funny.
Now, my first accident was in my mom's Jeep Cherokee in February 2006 when I was 17. An SUV stopped ahead of me for a pedestrian. I stopped. The Trail Blazer behind me stopped. The Ford F250 behind her, going 50 mph in a 30 zone up the hill smashed into the Blazer, which smashed into me. Anyone who knew me at the time knows that this was traumatic for one reason. I pulled out of the way and got out. I went to the Blazer to check on the mother and daughter. The daughter was visibly upset and shaken. She was probably two years younger than me. Her mother was far more concerned with the fact that her newly purchased car was now smashed at both ends rather than the state that her daughter was in. After determining that they were physically okay, I went to the truck. The man had three young kids in the truck, likely ranging from 5 to 10. He too was more pissed about the truck than concerned with the safety of his children (well, obviously since he was speeding to begin with), who thankfully were physically okay, but crying. I called 911. Not the 40+ year old adults, mind you. Me. The 17 year old high school kid. That was not funny.
My second accident happened two summers ago in August. I received some bad news about a friend when I got home from work (Prime Mercedes-Benz *plug plug*). I took a shower to try to calm down and couldn't. I made the mistake of going back to work to talk about it with my "boss-bro", Rob. I smashed into the ass end of a semi trailer shortly after I left again. I wasn't paying enough attention, someone ran across the street, the truck slammed on his brakes and I mine, but a second too late. The truck didn't notice, and my car was fine except for the fast the hood was crunched and the headlights scratched. It was a bad day. But now, it's funny. It's funny because nothing happened. No one was hurt and there were no typical materialistic Americans involved. Funny. I laugh when I think about it.
The third crash occurred the following winter. I brought my Tib into Prime Hyundai *plug plug* to get the e-brake tightened. It was happily sitting in the bay waiting to leave when the lunch truck decided to eat it. According to my service rep, she and a few mechanics were yelling at the guy to stop backing up. What I saw was my rep running into my salesman's (he was and is a business manager now) office. She said "the lunch truck just ran into your car". I laughed, I thought it was a joke. It wasn't. Hood replacement #2. I brought the car a few meters down the road to the Prime body shop... And the lunch truck pulled in to serve them lunch. Again, no one was hurt and yes I was fuming at the time. That is also funny. Hilarious even because it is something out of a comedy show.
So. When cars go smash, it's funny. When people are hurt, it's not funny. When cars go smash and people remain completely self-absorbed and materialistic and care more about a hunk of metal than their own flesh and blood or anyone else's flesh and blood, it's not funny. It's fucking sad. This coming from someone who over-identifies with her automobile (Enki has feelings... do not insult him).
So, please do not give me flak for posting a minor car accident and finding it hilarious. I did not post when I saw a pileup on i-495, or an jack-knifed truck or a disfigured, upside-down Honda Fit in the median. I see mangled cars and blood on the highway more often than I'd like but there's nothing you can do. People get hurt and people die. Sometimes its funny, sometimes it's not. I just hope that when I die people will laugh.
P.S. Two piss-drunk girls drove off a cliff into the ocean in Maine recently. They were not hurt, but they were involved in a "deep conversation" and apparently didn't notice that they were off the road.