I'm a tiger with a cough and a cold
Today the IR professor told me I was doing a very good job with the response papers (and that he was impressed I've already written 3). Front-loading my semester worked quite well for me last term, so I'm sure it'll end up being a good decision this semester, as well. Wish I'd figured that trick out last year... actually, I think I ended up doing it vaguely like that instinctively. It's always best to get things over with as soon as you can, right? Small things, anyway. Big things are just too daunting to do at all sometimes. And big things for me includes anything involving picking up the telephone or emailing a professor. Seufz. At any rate, it was really nice to get some positive feedback from a professor, because I am feeling wildly inadequate in my classes. I know I'm not a super teacher yet, but I think that I could be good, given time (this is not a pity ploy, because while it's true I'm not super, I am not saying I'm terrible, either. That I lack experience is my big problem at this point, not that I lack potential). Being a good political scientist is an entirely different matter, though, and I'm not sure I'm going to be much good at this whole "read and analyze and research" thing. I like to just read stuff and accept it at face value, which is a very juvenile way of approaching scholarly publications, and certainly not one that will help me in academia. Ah well. Feeling like a fraud and having doubts are perfectly normal in this game, and I'm probably not as inferior as I think I am. Being emotionally rational about these things is not my internal default, unfortunately, but look at how well I was able to calm myself down here. Maybe I'm growing up (or maybe I'm being a myopic Pollyanna ;) ).