after a long time

[tunta88]

wow i havent been on this thing in a long while. i guessthat i didnt feel a point in doing it ever since kyle was gone. i guess that ill start up again. hmm...where to start.. wel ill start with telling ya htat ny hasnt been so great since when i first got here.. i cant stand it anymore. i wanna go HOME!!! yes now i call cali my home because it really felt like it. except for being wiht my aunt and uncle. that part i can leave out of the home thing. well....hmm...samantha moved away to groton. her mom doesnt know how to take care of her, and fomr the way that i hear it, neither does hre sister. oh yea, thats who she lives wiht now. hm... recent events... my mom got locked up. itwas scary at first...and i was crying like a lil bitch on the phone to everyone. i feel so bad. im sorry. i was really blubbering the most to samantha. my mom got locked up b/c she was drunk..and i mean MAD DRUNK! i never knew that she isthat strong when shes drunk, and she pretty much beat the hell outta me. and i had no deffens, and so i called my dad. he hesitated to come home but finally after he heard my mom he told me to call the cops and he would be right home...that 45 minutes felt like forever. anyways. so hours later i called the police department(with samantha on 3 way ithink, i dont really remember) and they said that she was on her way over tothe jail and all tat jazz. i flipped. i caled everyone. looking for comfort. there want any that could have calmed me down, but i thank those who did try and comfort me and tell me that i didthe right hting(sammy). and the next day my dad bailed her out. i still dont know whats going on or how im feeling. well i kinda do. ever since shegot out, shes seemed really weird. and today i could really swear that she is on somehting, and now shes sleeping at my stepfathers house, which means...more drugs. y me? on the 13th its my moms court hearing. im praying that they do SOMETHING!!! (prayin to god) Plz let it be rehab, manditory, i dont wanna live like this anymore, i dont know how much longer i can stand up and hold myself strong with this)
if s, then i might go stay with the sostaks if that happens, just for a litle while. i cant leave my dad alone. or my kitten sasha. ugh...today has just been so draining. i dont feel right today. i couldnt tlak to anyone becasue i just cant think anymore. i cant see or anything. htis day has gone on too long.....someone plz hold me.