I woke on impact, under surveillance
Its been a long time. I have abandoned the journal for a myriad of reasons, but who knows, maybe I will make a comeback. I dont know if it needs one.
Today I felt a strong link to my past, but this was not a nostalgic reminiscence. Instead it was a shocking blow to the ego. But it does show how I have changed, and how skills, no matter how ingrained, can be lost over time if not studied specifically.
I got into an argument today. I love discussions, and I have them often, though not often enough. But the art of the argument has been totally lost on me. I am so attached to my keyboard that my ability to think on my feet has been completely worn away by apathy.
Today I sat here knowing that the correct argument lives inside me, but instead I reverted to my animal nature and just attacked. And attacked. And attacked. The ferocity was somewhat tame compared to the old days, but over the top compared to current standards.
Here I was arguing passionately and making little sense. Yet, strangely enough, looking back that reaction proved my argument.
People when they are scared are more violent, not less violent (animalistic). To truly eradicate violence and war the rational portion of the mind must be reached, and this is impossible through irrational fear.
I dont know what I am afraid of. Something is wrong, that much is clear. But Im not sure what. And I certainly am not sure how to solve it.
Today I felt a strong link to my past, but this was not a nostalgic reminiscence. Instead it was a shocking blow to the ego. But it does show how I have changed, and how skills, no matter how ingrained, can be lost over time if not studied specifically.
I got into an argument today. I love discussions, and I have them often, though not often enough. But the art of the argument has been totally lost on me. I am so attached to my keyboard that my ability to think on my feet has been completely worn away by apathy.
Today I sat here knowing that the correct argument lives inside me, but instead I reverted to my animal nature and just attacked. And attacked. And attacked. The ferocity was somewhat tame compared to the old days, but over the top compared to current standards.
Here I was arguing passionately and making little sense. Yet, strangely enough, looking back that reaction proved my argument.
People when they are scared are more violent, not less violent (animalistic). To truly eradicate violence and war the rational portion of the mind must be reached, and this is impossible through irrational fear.
I dont know what I am afraid of. Something is wrong, that much is clear. But Im not sure what. And I certainly am not sure how to solve it.