Honesty.
I'm not breaking my promise to be more open and honest. Here is what has happened since I last posted:
I keep worrying that I'm neglecting people so much that I push myself. I don't want to completely cut myself off from the world and never do anything, but I've been in ridiculous amounts of pain over the past few weeks. I'm getting worse and worse as they days go, in more and more pain, having to take pain killers every day. My hands shake, my body feels stiff as a board. This is why I haven't been online or making much of an effort to text/call/chat. I apologize for that, but I also know you all understand.
Everything hurts terribly. It makes me sick to my stomach and makes me throw up and sweat and shake. I'm still getting the lupron injections, and yet I've gotten my period this month. My body is so resistant to medicine that I have to keep changing what I take to get results. This is another reason why things get so expensive and why I can't afford so many medicines that I need.
Despite that, I keep getting really sweet texts from my friends telling me they love me. I got a package from Pat and her boyfriend, Brandon, with little Iron Man and Captain America dolls. That made my whole morning.
I had a long talk with my father about what's going on with me. His RA is so advanced that he's had surgeries, and he's worried that mine is going down the road of his, considering my left hand is a bit warped like his (the doc said even without the blood test she knew I had RA, when she felt the knuckles in my hands). My thumb, as I've mentioned before, is deformed, and now my little pointer finger is going the same route. I can no longer straighten it.
I've tried home remedies and natural remedies that friends have urged me to try. So far, nada. I'll keep trying though, so any suggestions you have, if you know of any, do let me know.
Thank you all for your continued support. You mean the world to me, and even though I'm not around as often as I used to be, I still love you very much and will always be here for you.
<3
I keep worrying that I'm neglecting people so much that I push myself. I don't want to completely cut myself off from the world and never do anything, but I've been in ridiculous amounts of pain over the past few weeks. I'm getting worse and worse as they days go, in more and more pain, having to take pain killers every day. My hands shake, my body feels stiff as a board. This is why I haven't been online or making much of an effort to text/call/chat. I apologize for that, but I also know you all understand.
Everything hurts terribly. It makes me sick to my stomach and makes me throw up and sweat and shake. I'm still getting the lupron injections, and yet I've gotten my period this month. My body is so resistant to medicine that I have to keep changing what I take to get results. This is another reason why things get so expensive and why I can't afford so many medicines that I need.
Despite that, I keep getting really sweet texts from my friends telling me they love me. I got a package from Pat and her boyfriend, Brandon, with little Iron Man and Captain America dolls. That made my whole morning.
I had a long talk with my father about what's going on with me. His RA is so advanced that he's had surgeries, and he's worried that mine is going down the road of his, considering my left hand is a bit warped like his (the doc said even without the blood test she knew I had RA, when she felt the knuckles in my hands). My thumb, as I've mentioned before, is deformed, and now my little pointer finger is going the same route. I can no longer straighten it.
I've tried home remedies and natural remedies that friends have urged me to try. So far, nada. I'll keep trying though, so any suggestions you have, if you know of any, do let me know.
Thank you all for your continued support. You mean the world to me, and even though I'm not around as often as I used to be, I still love you very much and will always be here for you.
<3