The end of an era.
No words, no amount of comfort, encouragement, disappointment, impatience, or anger could stop me from feeling like my world has crashed in on itself. I've been sitting here for the past half an hour, trying to tell myself that everything will be okay, that I know he'll be okay. Trying to tell myself that I'll be okay. But I can't convince myself. I feel like I'm ripping away a piece of myself little by little. Destroying myself. How can I tell myself that I'll be okay when I feel like I'm destroying myself?
I can't think straight, I can't breathe right, I don't know what to do. I can't fathom doing anything else but sitting here, and I'm starving. I can't eat. What's eating to me?
He wasn't just the first guy I fell in love with. He was my world. I thought nothing could come between us but God. I was wrong.
I have never felt this horrible, this helpless, ever. And contrary to wanting it to go away, I embrace it. I embrace it so that this will never happen again, so that I'll never forget how it feels to break someone's heart, and to break my own. These are the consequences of what I've done, and I hope I never forget it.
I didn't get to say it, but I will always love you too. You are a part of me. I may not be in love with you anymore, but I will always care about you and your well-being. Never think for a moment that I will forget what we had or what we were. You were not just my boyfriend, you were almost my everything. I will never forget that. I will never forget you. And I'm sorry that this happened.
Father forgive me.
I can't think straight, I can't breathe right, I don't know what to do. I can't fathom doing anything else but sitting here, and I'm starving. I can't eat. What's eating to me?
He wasn't just the first guy I fell in love with. He was my world. I thought nothing could come between us but God. I was wrong.
I have never felt this horrible, this helpless, ever. And contrary to wanting it to go away, I embrace it. I embrace it so that this will never happen again, so that I'll never forget how it feels to break someone's heart, and to break my own. These are the consequences of what I've done, and I hope I never forget it.
I didn't get to say it, but I will always love you too. You are a part of me. I may not be in love with you anymore, but I will always care about you and your well-being. Never think for a moment that I will forget what we had or what we were. You were not just my boyfriend, you were almost my everything. I will never forget that. I will never forget you. And I'm sorry that this happened.
Father forgive me.