Recovery Alphabet
A is for:
Alan's birthday.
I put the finishing touches on the two-disc case study cd set. I put it in his birthday present box along with the dream journal I've had for ten years. (there's already other stuff in the box already.) I loan it to him for the next ten years to come.
I grab a roll of painter's tape and tape the box shut, loosely trying to make it look like a wrapped box.
When I pick the box up, a raccoon mask falls at my feet. It's the costume that I was going to give to him.
I bite my lip looking at all the tape on the box, I'll have to destroy it all if I'm going to put it in the box.
I decide that I will, instead, keep it, in case I have a son.
It's a child-size costume anyway, he would only be able to wear the headpiece and tail (if he cut it off of the body)
I don't know why I decided it would be for my son.
I think that I would like for my first son to be a ____ Jr, perhaps.
and that my first daughter should be Grace because my name means "God's grace."
But yeah, I carry the box to the post office in the school bookstore, the entire way saying 'please' under my breath because I am unsure if it is still open at 6:30 pm.
The two boys who mailed my last package are there when I get there.
The one boy convinces me to send it priority instead of overnight.
When I go to leave the desk, I grab the box and pull it off of the counter.
The one boy says, "Miss, I'll take that."
and I laugh because I am an idiot trying to take Alan's present with me when I have just paid to have it mailed to him.
The address and return address are written on "Hello my name is" stickers left-over from my "Communist Anarchy" birthday party and the boy laughs because he thinks this is a nice touch.
--
B is for:
Boy who asked me for a cigarette yesterday.
I was walking to work with my headphones on and this boy starts walking next to me.
I take my headphones off and he asks if I need a lighter because I have an unlit cigarette sticking from my lips.
I say, "No, it's cool, I have one."
"Oh, do you think I could have a cigarette?"
"Yeah, that's what I thought you wanted in the first place."
I take a cigarette out and give it to him.
He lights my cigarette and then his.
He says thanks and walks away.
I have trouble, at first, trying to decide how I feel about the situation and then I realize that the reason I was having trouble was because I had given him points for creativity in terms of asking for a cigarette (by pretending that he wanted to light mine) and at the same time taken them away for his being sheisty.
So my opinion of him had completely equalized itself, returning him to random stranger status.
--
C is for:
cold weather.
I have to wear a jacket in my room now sometimes because I don't want to close my window and trap in the cigarette smoke.
--
D is for:
"dont ask him about vomit on technology later"
I won't explain what this means, but I will tell you that someone named Andy said it to me.
--
E is for:
"Everything lies, except for the rain and myself. We just fall and run."
This is something that I thought to myself climbing the staircase between the 3rd and 4th floors of my building after walking home in the rain last night following work and a surprise second viewing of "the science of sleep."
--
F is for:
french phrases that i'm thinking of spray-painting in the alley behind Gotcha!
I've decided the first will be, "Voulez vous manger moi?!?!"
Which means, "Do you want to eat me?!?!"
--
G is for:
Gotcha! customers who ask the following things:
Do you guys have costumes?
Do you sell these or like rent them?
Do you guys rent wigs?
Do I look good in this?
Do you have any 80's clothes that aren't ugly?
Are you open right now?
Is it fun working here?
--
H is for:
Haikus.
Go write some three lined, 5-7-5 syllabled poems and report back.
the more ridiculous, the better.
But don't be suprised when Alan's haikus beat the shit out of yours because his are funnier than anyone's.
--
I is for:
Igloos that melt while their respective eskimo watches in horror.
This is something that apparently Ben drew a picture of and I think that's fucking so great.
--
J is for Jianna,
which is not how you spell my name, so stop doing it.
--
K is for:
Koala babies that scoop poop out of their mothers' butts and eat it for sustenence.
If I see Claire or Rachies explain this/act this out one more time, I swear to god.
(See: Letter S)
--
L is for:
Life questions, the top four of which are:
1) Who am I?
2) Anybody got weed?
3) Who are you?
4) How did you get that number?
--
M is for:
Mathematical mean between a galaxy and an atom,
which is what one of my favorite books explains a human being is.
--
N is for:
Neverlooking.
This is just as important when you aren't camping, apparently.
--
O is for:
Omens.
Example:
I drop off the birthday present today.
I worry on my way out the door about it getting there in time and am suddenly comforted when I remember that Gemini's arch-angel is Raphael.
This is what my book on angels (the same book from letter M) has to say about him:
-Raphael is principally the angel of communication. He is very fast with his results; so fast, in fact, that he usually drops them in your lap and leaves you to sort them out. His rulership extends to all forms of communication, contracts, documents, FAX, computers, and to language, itself.
- Creatures that vibrate to Raphael's influence include monkeys and squirrels. Birds generally are related to Raphael's influence, particularly the magpie and the lark, and all nonstinging flies are sacred to him. Aspen and silver birch trees; and all yellow-flowered plants, ferns and "weeds" are his also.
-The Archangel Raphael is well visualized as being forms of yellow and golden light, fast moving. He bears the caduceus staff and has six wings- two at his temples, two at his shoulders, and two at his ankles. he has a topaz upon his forehead. His vibrations are very rapid.
Anyway, after I realize that Raphael could possibly help me out in this venture, I mutter to him to please please please make sure that the present gets to Alan on-time and then go and sit on a bench and read a short story before going to fiction class.
The short story has a line about a monkey in a tree and I am struck by the line for some reason, though it is just one line.
(I had forgotten about Raphael's connection to him until re-reading the section in my angel book just now)
Also, about an hour ago, a fly comes into my room, circles my head, and flies out.
This is strange because I have never seen an insect in my apartment since I have moved in (which I have always thought a little odd) and we have no windows open what-so-ever.
So, i'm thinking that Raphael is trying to let me know that he's on that shit and that I have naught to fear.
--
P is for:
Pains in my fingertips, lip-ring, back, and at one junction, my hip.
The fingertips comes from my recent anxious state, which has aggravated my vicious nail-biting problem.
The lip-ring comes from my recent anxious state, which has caused me to constantly twirl my lip-ring in circles.
The back comes from long hours of work at Gotcha! and sitting in my computer chair.
My hip was an isolated incident walking to work yesterday when I am suddenly stricken with horrifying shooting pain from my left leg. I continue for three blocks because I'm like, "Fuck this, i'm tough" until my thigh bone snaps back into place in my hip and I realize
"Oh, that's what that was."
--
Q is for:
Queers who wear make-up.
Matthew has recently started wearing make-up and I am so startled at how expertly he applies it, despite this being the first week that he is wearing make-up at all.
It's amazing.
He looks so fucking gorgeous in blue eye shadow, it's out of control.
--
R is for:
REM sleep. (Rapid Eye Movement)
According to Girard in the science of sleep, "Love extrapolates your REM."
I'm not sure I understand the rammifications of this statement.
Shouldn't it be REM which extrapolates love?
--
S is for:
Swearing to God.
I was quoted at Gotcha! for saying, 'I can pretty much swear to god' to a customer about how I guarantee that her wearing fishnets and ruffly panties under a short costume will makes it much more comfortable for her to wear because that is how I remedied wearing the rainbow brite costume last year.
Although Rachel explained to me why my using this phrase is funny, (something about under-cutting the importance of swearing to god), I still don't think that I quite get it.
--
T is for:
turtle rape.
--
U is for:
Utterances of grandeur that I always seem to come up with climbing the staircases of my building.
Tonight's was, "If you were mario, would you save me from Donkey Kong?"
Wouldn't you?
--
V is for:
Venus fly-traps, purely because I think that carnivorous plants
(like the sundew or pitcher plant)
are cool as fuck.
--
W is for:
Wonderful surprises, like John from ragtag coming into gotcha! in order to tell us gotcha! girls that he will get us into the science of sleep for free, allowing me to see it for the second time.
(The following is in more french than the movie, but I like it that way.)
--
X is for:
X-rated thoughts that help me to fall asleep.
--
Y is for:
You, what else would it be for?
--
Z is for:
Zebra on the cover of my night dreams/day dreams journal.
Alan's birthday.
I put the finishing touches on the two-disc case study cd set. I put it in his birthday present box along with the dream journal I've had for ten years. (there's already other stuff in the box already.) I loan it to him for the next ten years to come.
I grab a roll of painter's tape and tape the box shut, loosely trying to make it look like a wrapped box.
When I pick the box up, a raccoon mask falls at my feet. It's the costume that I was going to give to him.
I bite my lip looking at all the tape on the box, I'll have to destroy it all if I'm going to put it in the box.
I decide that I will, instead, keep it, in case I have a son.
It's a child-size costume anyway, he would only be able to wear the headpiece and tail (if he cut it off of the body)
I don't know why I decided it would be for my son.
I think that I would like for my first son to be a ____ Jr, perhaps.
and that my first daughter should be Grace because my name means "God's grace."
But yeah, I carry the box to the post office in the school bookstore, the entire way saying 'please' under my breath because I am unsure if it is still open at 6:30 pm.
The two boys who mailed my last package are there when I get there.
The one boy convinces me to send it priority instead of overnight.
When I go to leave the desk, I grab the box and pull it off of the counter.
The one boy says, "Miss, I'll take that."
and I laugh because I am an idiot trying to take Alan's present with me when I have just paid to have it mailed to him.
The address and return address are written on "Hello my name is" stickers left-over from my "Communist Anarchy" birthday party and the boy laughs because he thinks this is a nice touch.
--
B is for:
Boy who asked me for a cigarette yesterday.
I was walking to work with my headphones on and this boy starts walking next to me.
I take my headphones off and he asks if I need a lighter because I have an unlit cigarette sticking from my lips.
I say, "No, it's cool, I have one."
"Oh, do you think I could have a cigarette?"
"Yeah, that's what I thought you wanted in the first place."
I take a cigarette out and give it to him.
He lights my cigarette and then his.
He says thanks and walks away.
I have trouble, at first, trying to decide how I feel about the situation and then I realize that the reason I was having trouble was because I had given him points for creativity in terms of asking for a cigarette (by pretending that he wanted to light mine) and at the same time taken them away for his being sheisty.
So my opinion of him had completely equalized itself, returning him to random stranger status.
--
C is for:
cold weather.
I have to wear a jacket in my room now sometimes because I don't want to close my window and trap in the cigarette smoke.
--
D is for:
"dont ask him about vomit on technology later"
I won't explain what this means, but I will tell you that someone named Andy said it to me.
--
E is for:
"Everything lies, except for the rain and myself. We just fall and run."
This is something that I thought to myself climbing the staircase between the 3rd and 4th floors of my building after walking home in the rain last night following work and a surprise second viewing of "the science of sleep."
--
F is for:
french phrases that i'm thinking of spray-painting in the alley behind Gotcha!
I've decided the first will be, "Voulez vous manger moi?!?!"
Which means, "Do you want to eat me?!?!"
--
G is for:
Gotcha! customers who ask the following things:
Do you guys have costumes?
Do you sell these or like rent them?
Do you guys rent wigs?
Do I look good in this?
Do you have any 80's clothes that aren't ugly?
Are you open right now?
Is it fun working here?
--
H is for:
Haikus.
Go write some three lined, 5-7-5 syllabled poems and report back.
the more ridiculous, the better.
But don't be suprised when Alan's haikus beat the shit out of yours because his are funnier than anyone's.
--
I is for:
Igloos that melt while their respective eskimo watches in horror.
This is something that apparently Ben drew a picture of and I think that's fucking so great.
--
J is for Jianna,
which is not how you spell my name, so stop doing it.
--
K is for:
Koala babies that scoop poop out of their mothers' butts and eat it for sustenence.
If I see Claire or Rachies explain this/act this out one more time, I swear to god.
(See: Letter S)
--
L is for:
Life questions, the top four of which are:
1) Who am I?
2) Anybody got weed?
3) Who are you?
4) How did you get that number?
--
M is for:
Mathematical mean between a galaxy and an atom,
which is what one of my favorite books explains a human being is.
--
N is for:
Neverlooking.
This is just as important when you aren't camping, apparently.
--
O is for:
Omens.
Example:
I drop off the birthday present today.
I worry on my way out the door about it getting there in time and am suddenly comforted when I remember that Gemini's arch-angel is Raphael.
This is what my book on angels (the same book from letter M) has to say about him:
-Raphael is principally the angel of communication. He is very fast with his results; so fast, in fact, that he usually drops them in your lap and leaves you to sort them out. His rulership extends to all forms of communication, contracts, documents, FAX, computers, and to language, itself.
- Creatures that vibrate to Raphael's influence include monkeys and squirrels. Birds generally are related to Raphael's influence, particularly the magpie and the lark, and all nonstinging flies are sacred to him. Aspen and silver birch trees; and all yellow-flowered plants, ferns and "weeds" are his also.
-The Archangel Raphael is well visualized as being forms of yellow and golden light, fast moving. He bears the caduceus staff and has six wings- two at his temples, two at his shoulders, and two at his ankles. he has a topaz upon his forehead. His vibrations are very rapid.
Anyway, after I realize that Raphael could possibly help me out in this venture, I mutter to him to please please please make sure that the present gets to Alan on-time and then go and sit on a bench and read a short story before going to fiction class.
The short story has a line about a monkey in a tree and I am struck by the line for some reason, though it is just one line.
(I had forgotten about Raphael's connection to him until re-reading the section in my angel book just now)
Also, about an hour ago, a fly comes into my room, circles my head, and flies out.
This is strange because I have never seen an insect in my apartment since I have moved in (which I have always thought a little odd) and we have no windows open what-so-ever.
So, i'm thinking that Raphael is trying to let me know that he's on that shit and that I have naught to fear.
--
P is for:
Pains in my fingertips, lip-ring, back, and at one junction, my hip.
The fingertips comes from my recent anxious state, which has aggravated my vicious nail-biting problem.
The lip-ring comes from my recent anxious state, which has caused me to constantly twirl my lip-ring in circles.
The back comes from long hours of work at Gotcha! and sitting in my computer chair.
My hip was an isolated incident walking to work yesterday when I am suddenly stricken with horrifying shooting pain from my left leg. I continue for three blocks because I'm like, "Fuck this, i'm tough" until my thigh bone snaps back into place in my hip and I realize
"Oh, that's what that was."
--
Q is for:
Queers who wear make-up.
Matthew has recently started wearing make-up and I am so startled at how expertly he applies it, despite this being the first week that he is wearing make-up at all.
It's amazing.
He looks so fucking gorgeous in blue eye shadow, it's out of control.
--
R is for:
REM sleep. (Rapid Eye Movement)
According to Girard in the science of sleep, "Love extrapolates your REM."
I'm not sure I understand the rammifications of this statement.
Shouldn't it be REM which extrapolates love?
--
S is for:
Swearing to God.
I was quoted at Gotcha! for saying, 'I can pretty much swear to god' to a customer about how I guarantee that her wearing fishnets and ruffly panties under a short costume will makes it much more comfortable for her to wear because that is how I remedied wearing the rainbow brite costume last year.
Although Rachel explained to me why my using this phrase is funny, (something about under-cutting the importance of swearing to god), I still don't think that I quite get it.
--
T is for:
turtle rape.
--
U is for:
Utterances of grandeur that I always seem to come up with climbing the staircases of my building.
Tonight's was, "If you were mario, would you save me from Donkey Kong?"
Wouldn't you?
--
V is for:
Venus fly-traps, purely because I think that carnivorous plants
(like the sundew or pitcher plant)
are cool as fuck.
--
W is for:
Wonderful surprises, like John from ragtag coming into gotcha! in order to tell us gotcha! girls that he will get us into the science of sleep for free, allowing me to see it for the second time.
(The following is in more french than the movie, but I like it that way.)
--
X is for:
X-rated thoughts that help me to fall asleep.
--
Y is for:
You, what else would it be for?
--
Z is for:
Zebra on the cover of my night dreams/day dreams journal.