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Can't fight the seether

Mar 06, 2006 07:57

My comments are brief, because I have to work on something this morning, but I had to get 'em out...

In a stunning misjudgement, Naomi Watts wears shredded turkey.

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aaaaaames March 6 2006, 18:12:17 UTC

excellent wrap-ups, ladies! i have little to add. my favorites were Meryl Street, Michelle Williams (LOVE the color!) and Salma Hayak--originally thought her boobs were weirdly smooshed in the dress, but in most of the pictures I've seen they look amazing. see below.

hubba hubba. i want a glass of milk.

least favorites were Charlize Theron--UNPARDONABLE--and Naomi Watts. Though I do have some sympathy for Naomi as it appears she was attacked by a deranged homeless person on the way to the red carpet.
and also Hilary Swank. I really want to impose a moratorium on strapless black dresses. plus hers was the most ill-fitting thing i've ever seen:

note the weirdness around her thighs and stomach, and the fact that there are roughly 3 feet of bony chest exposed.

I'm concerned about Nicole Kidman:

I think she is slowly disappearing, her body diminishing and her coloring blanching to the point that I don't know if she will be visible to the human eye in a few years.

onto HAIR:

this hairdo was generally okay, but does anyone else think there's something really weird about her hairline? i think she has male-pattern baldness that a skilled hairdresser managed to disguise.

tie for worst oscar hair, ever:

barf...

hurl...

for making it onto both my worst-dress and worst-hair lists, Charlize Theron wins the distinction of Worst Overall. She should probably just quit Hollywood. She cannot recover from this, in my mind.

aaaaaames March 6 2006, 18:16:17 UTC

oh, and Rachel Weisz made me so sad. such a lovely lady, such a lovely time in her life, and she chooses a dress from Macy's Career Woman line. that is soooo dowdy!

aaaaaames March 6 2006, 18:20:46 UTC

oh, ONE MORE thing!

i thought i really loved Reese Witherspoon's dress last night, but the more i look at it today the more I think it just totally overwhelms her figure. it's such a heavy fabric, i think it would have to be a short or tea-length dress for it to have worked. i love her to pieces, though.

aaaaaames March 6 2006, 18:21:55 UTC

god, charlize theron's hair is so ugly i simply cannot stop looking at it!!! it looks like a sparrow has made its home on her head.

i can't stop responding to my own comments.

faux_teak March 6 2006, 18:42:23 UTC

I, too, wish Reese's dress had been shorter. Or full length, but with the sparkly business stopping before the bottom. It was a little much. She and Ziyi Zhang tied for the Most Bedazzled Dress award (although I don't feel strongly about either one in a positive or a negative way).

theswirtproject March 6 2006, 19:03:10 UTC

1. I'm going to semi-agree with you on Reese. I LOOOOOVED it last night, but this morning, ehn... actually I still kind of love it, but agree it would have looked better on someone taller with a more striking figure. I think that if she cut of the skirt and wore the top with a pair of jeans, that would be hot (although not for the oscars...duh).

2. LOVED salma hayek. I want to burry myself in her boobies.

3. I'm not even going to comment on Charlize, her whole fashion statement last night was just shameful.

4. The thing about sandra bullock is that I don't think the dress is *that* hideous, not gorgeous, certainly... but not the worst thing I have ever seen her wear either. the thing that makes her look trashy is a) the teenager make-up job. b) the fact that her hairdo might have been done by her biker husband, Jesse James. her whole head looked underwhelming - like she might as well have been wearing a dirty t-shirt and jeans. it just made the dress look awkward on her and not flattering. In my opinion Sandra Bullock needs to retire from hollywood anyway, because all she seems to be contributing these days are Miss Congeniality sequels, and no one needs that. she would be a good addition to Monster Garage, though.

5. Nicole Kidman makes me want to die. her body is so tiny! her waist-to-hip ratio is definitely acheiving anorexic proportions. here's the nicole that I remember from my youth:

she was at least 30 pounds heavier in the 80's too, but I'm too lazy to find those pictures.

6. Meryl Streep is awesome.

7. Dolly Parton is an awesome woman, but GOD DAMN she needs to stop with the plastic surgery.

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