really frickin upset.
morgan---i'm so sorry i haven't been keeping up to date in this---i'm going to try really hard to keep it up. i know that you read my other entries and it made me cry because i'm having a really shitty couple of days and it was so nice to see that you care enough to comment on my entries. although you may not read this for awhile because you thought i forgot about you..i dunno.
so, i'm going to try and do this every night before i go to bed.
the past couple of days have been hell and it really sucks. my mother sent madeleine a package. it had beautiful gifts in it---and a picture of my brand new niece abigail--my brother's daughter---born on the 25th of july. but not one note to me---she made a cd for maddy and on the cd case she wrote about the songs she put on it, she talked about how she used to play these songs for her first baby (ME!!)--but didn't mention my name once and signed the cd and the picture of my niece, "grammy yvonne".....she can't even be a mother to me, but she thinks she can be "grammy" to my daughter!!!????? i'm so sick and tired of her playing on my emotions--she's doing these things purposely to piss me off and to put me in a shitty situation when maddy gets older----"why don't you let me see grammy yvonne??"--i can only hear the words 15 years from now. i want to send the package back.
yesterday i e-mailed my grandmother (my "dad's" mother) about us going down to the cape at the end of september (the obvious off-season)...she said she'd let me know---then e-mailed me back today and said that if we wanted it, the off-season rate was 350.00 for the week.???!!!! last year, we went for 4 days and she asked us to leave 50 dollars. it really pisses me off because she knows i just had the baby--i just went back to work, and am broke. dan's upset because he was counting on going down, but we just don't have the money to spend 350.00 plus expenses while we're down there...if we want to have a good time, that is....
i just can't understand why this shit happens to us--we try and do good and we believe in good karma--we work hard and we love eachother and i am thankful every day for the gift of my very beautiful daughter who brings me so much joy and puts a smile on my face more than anyone has in my entire life. i feel like she should never have to deal with this kind of crap---and wish i didn't have to , either.....
anyways, enough bitching. i love you, morgan-----thank you for being such a great friend.
~magick
so, i'm going to try and do this every night before i go to bed.
the past couple of days have been hell and it really sucks. my mother sent madeleine a package. it had beautiful gifts in it---and a picture of my brand new niece abigail--my brother's daughter---born on the 25th of july. but not one note to me---she made a cd for maddy and on the cd case she wrote about the songs she put on it, she talked about how she used to play these songs for her first baby (ME!!)--but didn't mention my name once and signed the cd and the picture of my niece, "grammy yvonne".....she can't even be a mother to me, but she thinks she can be "grammy" to my daughter!!!????? i'm so sick and tired of her playing on my emotions--she's doing these things purposely to piss me off and to put me in a shitty situation when maddy gets older----"why don't you let me see grammy yvonne??"--i can only hear the words 15 years from now. i want to send the package back.
yesterday i e-mailed my grandmother (my "dad's" mother) about us going down to the cape at the end of september (the obvious off-season)...she said she'd let me know---then e-mailed me back today and said that if we wanted it, the off-season rate was 350.00 for the week.???!!!! last year, we went for 4 days and she asked us to leave 50 dollars. it really pisses me off because she knows i just had the baby--i just went back to work, and am broke. dan's upset because he was counting on going down, but we just don't have the money to spend 350.00 plus expenses while we're down there...if we want to have a good time, that is....
i just can't understand why this shit happens to us--we try and do good and we believe in good karma--we work hard and we love eachother and i am thankful every day for the gift of my very beautiful daughter who brings me so much joy and puts a smile on my face more than anyone has in my entire life. i feel like she should never have to deal with this kind of crap---and wish i didn't have to , either.....
anyways, enough bitching. i love you, morgan-----thank you for being such a great friend.
~magick