Ess-Kah-Peh
Looks like Pinoys who like wordplay are actually
> MENSA geniuses!
The Washington Post has published the winning
submissions to its yearly
contest in which readers are asked to supply
alternate meanings for common
words. And the winners are:
>
> 1. Coffee (n): the person upon whom one coughs.
>
> 2. Flabbergasted (adj): appalled by discovering how
> much weight one has gained.
>
> 3. Abdicate (v): to give up all hope of ever having
> a flat stomach.
>
> 4. Esplanade (v): to attempt an explanation while
> drunk.
>
> 5. Willy-Nilly (adj): impotent.
>
> 6. Negligent (adj): absentmindedly answering the
> door when wearing only nightgown.
>
> 7. Lymph (v): to walk with a lisp.
>
> 8. Gargoyle (n) Olive flavored mouthwash.
>
> 9. Flatulence (n): emergency vehicle that picks up
> someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
>
> 10. Balderdash (n): a rapidly receding hairline.
>
> 11. Testicle (n): a humorous question on an exam.
>
> 12. Rectitude (n): the formal, dignified bearing
> adopted by proctologists.
>
> 13. Pokemon (n): a Rastafarian proctologist.
>
> 14. Oyster (n): a person who sprinkles his
> conversation with Yiddishisms.
>
> 15. Frisbeetarianism (n): the belief that, after
> death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets
> stuck there.
>
> 16. Circumvent (n): an opening in the front of boxer
> shorts worn by Jewish men.
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Here is the Washington Post's Mensa Invitational
> which once again asked readers to take any word from
> the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or
> changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
>
> The 2005 winners are:
>
> 1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying (or building)
> a house, which renders the subject financially
> impotent for an indefinite period of time.
>
> 2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an
> a--hole.
>
> 3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund,
> which lasts until you realize that it was your money
> to start with.
>
> 4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a
> hillbilly.
>
> 5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid
> people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The
> bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of
> breaking down in the near future. [There is a high
> concentration in most corporate board rooms and
> the highest concentration ever measured in the White House and both houses of Congress.]
>
> 6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself
> for the purpose of getting laid.
>
> 7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very
> high.
>
> 8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of
> sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
>
> 9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you
> are running late.
>
> 10. Hipatitis - Permanent coolness
>
> 11. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one
> got extra credit)
>
> 12. Karmageddon: It's when everybody is sending off
> all these really bad vibes, and then the Earth
> explodes and it's a serious bummer.
>
> 13. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting
> through the day consuming only things that are good
> for you.
>
> 14. Glibido: All talk and no action.
>
> 15. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to
> seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
>
> 16. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance
> performed just after you've accidentally walked
> through a spider web.
>
> 17. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito,
> that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning
> and cannot be cast out.
>
> 18. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after
> finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.
=====
I want to sleep.
But I can't.
~*~