Manatee-Plane Interaction
Me: that manatee, that actually is the manatee that the video is from
Brother: it looked like it
Brother: not that i am a manatee identification expert but the water looked similar
Me: also, the face is smashed up against the glass
Me: well i dunno, the video was from a different angle
Me: maybe this is typical manatee behavior
Brother: Joining us is manatee behaviouralist, Dr. Alan Swope, zoologist and marine mammal specialist, and distinguished fellow at the Oxford Marine Biology department. Tell me doctor, is this typical manatee behavior?
Me: Well, often we find manatees attracted to large flat planes of anything. It could be glass, obsidian, or even stainless steel. This would explain the recent unfortunate incidents involving manatees and industrial machinery found in the steel working areas of Pennsylvania.
Brother: arg i cant breathe
Me: haha
Brother: To take a closer look at this phenomenon, our team went with Dr. Swope during one of his recent studies on manatee plane interaction. Setting up in an abandoned warehouse on the lower east side, the doctor and his staff deployed their observational equipment and a huge sheet of mylar and waited.
Me: "We're here in what we like to call a 'manatee blind'. We've discovered in previous expeditions that the manatee has difficulty making distinctions between round, soft surfaces. Perhaps this is related to MPI. Basically we built a fort out of the pillows from one of our lab assistants couches."
Brother: While considered unorthodox by most of the academic community, Swope stresses that these measures are necessary to better help understand and quantify MPI. After writing a dozen papers on the topic, he has finally secured a small grant to help fund the research. His lab assistants work largely unpaid, and equipment is usually limited to what they can find at garage sales.
Brother: He is however, optimistic.
Me: "We've made some incredible breakthroughs over the past month. Last week we spotted a manatee thoroughly licking a sheet of drywall. This is very intriguing! This means that the flat planes are not just eye candy to the manatee, but that they act as some sort of catalyst to perhaps manatee diet, or even manatee sexual practice."
Brother: A group of manatees approach the mylar. As a control, Swope's team deploys a plate of cheeseburgers. If the team is correct, they should be more interested in the thin sheet of plastic than the food. Previous trials included various types of transparent, reflective or translucent planes, each with a different evoked response from the manatees. Swope hopes that future trials will include large plasma screens and planes made of prescious metals.
Me: "Notice how the manatee all but ignores the plate of Whoppers. Most animals will waste no time in scarfing down the delicious charbroiled meat products. But the manatee, and this is truly fascinating, is transfixed by our planes. It does seem that the metallic planes are the most desired by the manatee. We'd like to see what types of metals the manatee prefers, for example, silver versus copper, but sadly we just don't have the funding. Hopefully these discoveries will lead to federal grants."
Brother: i think we should write for the discovery channel
Me: we could totally win an emmy
Brother: best scientific comedy?
Me: hahaha
Me: MPI would lose funding and emmys to "Mating Habits of the Black Footed Ferret"
Brother: Here we see a rather large male specimen displaying typical rituals. See how he tries to buy the females a drink and then pee on them? It's fascinating, really.
Me: "We've compared the footage to 'Mating Habits of the Kennedy Clan' and the similarities are no less than disturbing."
Brother: it looked like it
Brother: not that i am a manatee identification expert but the water looked similar
Me: also, the face is smashed up against the glass
Me: well i dunno, the video was from a different angle
Me: maybe this is typical manatee behavior
Brother: Joining us is manatee behaviouralist, Dr. Alan Swope, zoologist and marine mammal specialist, and distinguished fellow at the Oxford Marine Biology department. Tell me doctor, is this typical manatee behavior?
Me: Well, often we find manatees attracted to large flat planes of anything. It could be glass, obsidian, or even stainless steel. This would explain the recent unfortunate incidents involving manatees and industrial machinery found in the steel working areas of Pennsylvania.
Brother: arg i cant breathe
Me: haha
Brother: To take a closer look at this phenomenon, our team went with Dr. Swope during one of his recent studies on manatee plane interaction. Setting up in an abandoned warehouse on the lower east side, the doctor and his staff deployed their observational equipment and a huge sheet of mylar and waited.
Me: "We're here in what we like to call a 'manatee blind'. We've discovered in previous expeditions that the manatee has difficulty making distinctions between round, soft surfaces. Perhaps this is related to MPI. Basically we built a fort out of the pillows from one of our lab assistants couches."
Brother: While considered unorthodox by most of the academic community, Swope stresses that these measures are necessary to better help understand and quantify MPI. After writing a dozen papers on the topic, he has finally secured a small grant to help fund the research. His lab assistants work largely unpaid, and equipment is usually limited to what they can find at garage sales.
Brother: He is however, optimistic.
Me: "We've made some incredible breakthroughs over the past month. Last week we spotted a manatee thoroughly licking a sheet of drywall. This is very intriguing! This means that the flat planes are not just eye candy to the manatee, but that they act as some sort of catalyst to perhaps manatee diet, or even manatee sexual practice."
Brother: A group of manatees approach the mylar. As a control, Swope's team deploys a plate of cheeseburgers. If the team is correct, they should be more interested in the thin sheet of plastic than the food. Previous trials included various types of transparent, reflective or translucent planes, each with a different evoked response from the manatees. Swope hopes that future trials will include large plasma screens and planes made of prescious metals.
Me: "Notice how the manatee all but ignores the plate of Whoppers. Most animals will waste no time in scarfing down the delicious charbroiled meat products. But the manatee, and this is truly fascinating, is transfixed by our planes. It does seem that the metallic planes are the most desired by the manatee. We'd like to see what types of metals the manatee prefers, for example, silver versus copper, but sadly we just don't have the funding. Hopefully these discoveries will lead to federal grants."
Brother: i think we should write for the discovery channel
Me: we could totally win an emmy
Brother: best scientific comedy?
Me: hahaha
Me: MPI would lose funding and emmys to "Mating Habits of the Black Footed Ferret"
Brother: Here we see a rather large male specimen displaying typical rituals. See how he tries to buy the females a drink and then pee on them? It's fascinating, really.
Me: "We've compared the footage to 'Mating Habits of the Kennedy Clan' and the similarities are no less than disturbing."