I should have taken two weeks
My week back home is almost up, and I am so bummed out, you guys. My relatives are getting old. Things are changing. My grandpa spends his whole days in bed and doesn't seem to really know what's going on a lot of the time. My aunts and uncles are all looking greyer, or balder, or both. My aunt's dachshund is now 13 years old, and I've known him since he was a puppy, and I am so afraid I am not gonna see him again. My brother's godparents, who are basically like family to us, are getting divorced after having been married longer than even my parents. And my godfather, who we all kind of expected to pop in at some point, died a couple months ago.
I am so afraid everyone is going to die or get sick and I won't be here for them. Now that everyone's older, a lot changes in two-and-a-half years, the amount of time I've been away from Southern California. Just being here a week I barely got to see most everyone, still haven't seen my cousins. And since I'm going away in October, I don't know when I'll be back.
I don't know. I know a lot of people who aren't close to their extended family, or don't even really like them. I've always liked them probably more than my immediate family though, and I got spoiled spending whole summers with them for most of my life. Finally seeing them all again kind of jolted me into realizing I am running out of time. And made me feel guilty that I was so eager to fix my own life, get out of Dallas, find a job, etc., that I basically forgot about them.
Good things: my aunt, who's recovering from cancer/chemo treatments, really looked about as good as ever. My dad's goddaughter got married, and, well, weddings make me happy. Network TV here is super weird now. If you have the right kind of TV, you can pick up multiple broadcasts on the same channel, so you can get channel 18, 18.1, 18.2, etc. As a result, there are a million non-cable "channels" to watch. Today I counted 17 in various Asian languages, including Armenian and an English-language Korean international broadcast. Shit. Also, I got my Coffee Bean Dulce de leche Ice Blended drink, which I have been craving for three years. Tomorrow = In-N-Out.
Weird things: the recession hit hard. I think I was pretty sheltered from reality in Dallas. I went to my favorite mall here, that used to be abuzz with activity, only to find that there was hardly anyone there. Sanrio, Suncoast, Borders all closed. Volcano Tea House, my favorite bubble tea place, closed, along with three or four other restaurants in the food court. Nobody can find a job. The upswing? Lighter traffic.
I was just getting to appreciate Dallas, but coming out here made me realize it'll never be LA. I'm thinking when I take my flight(s) "home" from Korea, I'll just come here and skip Dallas.
I am so afraid everyone is going to die or get sick and I won't be here for them. Now that everyone's older, a lot changes in two-and-a-half years, the amount of time I've been away from Southern California. Just being here a week I barely got to see most everyone, still haven't seen my cousins. And since I'm going away in October, I don't know when I'll be back.
I don't know. I know a lot of people who aren't close to their extended family, or don't even really like them. I've always liked them probably more than my immediate family though, and I got spoiled spending whole summers with them for most of my life. Finally seeing them all again kind of jolted me into realizing I am running out of time. And made me feel guilty that I was so eager to fix my own life, get out of Dallas, find a job, etc., that I basically forgot about them.
Good things: my aunt, who's recovering from cancer/chemo treatments, really looked about as good as ever. My dad's goddaughter got married, and, well, weddings make me happy. Network TV here is super weird now. If you have the right kind of TV, you can pick up multiple broadcasts on the same channel, so you can get channel 18, 18.1, 18.2, etc. As a result, there are a million non-cable "channels" to watch. Today I counted 17 in various Asian languages, including Armenian and an English-language Korean international broadcast. Shit. Also, I got my Coffee Bean Dulce de leche Ice Blended drink, which I have been craving for three years. Tomorrow = In-N-Out.
Weird things: the recession hit hard. I think I was pretty sheltered from reality in Dallas. I went to my favorite mall here, that used to be abuzz with activity, only to find that there was hardly anyone there. Sanrio, Suncoast, Borders all closed. Volcano Tea House, my favorite bubble tea place, closed, along with three or four other restaurants in the food court. Nobody can find a job. The upswing? Lighter traffic.
I was just getting to appreciate Dallas, but coming out here made me realize it'll never be LA. I'm thinking when I take my flight(s) "home" from Korea, I'll just come here and skip Dallas.