Buttermilk Days and Peppermint Nights
I was just looking at my email; nothing new tonight so I happened to click on saved emails. There were a bunch from Gabriel in there. That was so long ago. I was so hopeless. Once in a great while I wonder what those guys are up to. It is weird to think they could be married and have kids of their own. Somehow it seems like I'm the only one who should move forward; they are trapped in time in my head.
Sierra was being difficult to console earlier, but Tony gave her another bottle (we feed her, figure she's full, she keeps crying, we try feeding her again and she acts like she hasn't eaten in days - she's almost 1 month old and we're talking 4 oz bottles! - a bottomless pit, I tell you), and it sounds like she went to sleep. I'm sick of the whole boob thing. I'm a slave to my boobs. Always having to feed the baby or the breast pump or have over-filling painful boobs. Now it seems like they feel full and hurt even right after I just pumped. I wish I could just take a break, push a pause button on them, feed Sierra formula for a couple of days then go back. But I know the breast milk is better for her, and should be helping me lose weight, though the weight seems stalled out right now because I'm always hungry, too. Sigh. Too hot and sweaty. Should go to bed. But I've gotten into the habit of putting it off because I know as soon as I lie down and get ready to drift off Sierra is going to start crying again.