(no subject)
I've found that it's difficult to write my thoughts anymore because I've noticed how crazy and negative they are. Who really wants to read that shit? So I sort of lock it up. But that's just it! I write for myself, remember? I'm not writing for your entertainment; I'm simply writing for my sanity. I wish I could remember that.
I've recently had an experience at my great-grandmother's assisted living home where one particular old woman had mistaken me for a relative or something. It was so fucking bizarre. I used to talk to her a lot, because she was sane when most people in that house were not. She was funny, and kept track of my grandmother. One day she asked me to write my name down on a piece of paper for her so that she could always remember my name. So I did. A few months later and her memory began to slip. I paid no attention to it until the last visit I had there. She would not leave me, Troy, or my grandmother alone for our visit. She started saying really weird things, like "I'm going to ask you a question, and then you can ask me one so that we can get to know each other," and "I pray to God that he will tell me the right answers for you, and that maybe he will tell you the right answers for me." I thought she was having some sort of religious break down, and those are weird. So I just let her banter. When we left Troy was all "That was so fucked up" because we had 2 crazy ladies talking to us at once, and my great-grandmother was coming and going with her dementia. So Troy explained to me that he thought the lady expressed interest in me because she had found that piece of paper in her room with my name on it, and forgot how "Alisha" fit into her life. Was I a relative? Was I a frequent visitor? Was I a nurse?
No. I'm none of those. I don't want religious banter around me because it scares the shit out of me, lady. I'm not sure how I feel about my visits there. I know that my great-grandmother likes them, and I love visiting her because she's so full of spirit. However, that place is just sooooooo overwhelming. So Troy and I have decided that it's crucial to try to preserve our memories.
I've recently had an experience at my great-grandmother's assisted living home where one particular old woman had mistaken me for a relative or something. It was so fucking bizarre. I used to talk to her a lot, because she was sane when most people in that house were not. She was funny, and kept track of my grandmother. One day she asked me to write my name down on a piece of paper for her so that she could always remember my name. So I did. A few months later and her memory began to slip. I paid no attention to it until the last visit I had there. She would not leave me, Troy, or my grandmother alone for our visit. She started saying really weird things, like "I'm going to ask you a question, and then you can ask me one so that we can get to know each other," and "I pray to God that he will tell me the right answers for you, and that maybe he will tell you the right answers for me." I thought she was having some sort of religious break down, and those are weird. So I just let her banter. When we left Troy was all "That was so fucked up" because we had 2 crazy ladies talking to us at once, and my great-grandmother was coming and going with her dementia. So Troy explained to me that he thought the lady expressed interest in me because she had found that piece of paper in her room with my name on it, and forgot how "Alisha" fit into her life. Was I a relative? Was I a frequent visitor? Was I a nurse?
No. I'm none of those. I don't want religious banter around me because it scares the shit out of me, lady. I'm not sure how I feel about my visits there. I know that my great-grandmother likes them, and I love visiting her because she's so full of spirit. However, that place is just sooooooo overwhelming. So Troy and I have decided that it's crucial to try to preserve our memories.