Personal Therapy
I've started sleeping with someone new. I'm an idiot. He's cool and all, he's someone I can totally be buddies with and all, but I shouldn't be messing around if I want Nate to want me again. I'm so stupid about guys. I know I need to be good about the guys, but fuck if, I'm a horny person I NEED to get off with someone! I have super crazy intense feelings for Nate but I'm too much of a pussy to tell him how I feel. He's going to reject my feelings, I know it. At least, I'm almost certain. Even though I sometimes catch him looking at me at work, I blew every chance I had with him. I never should have treated him like just a fuck buddy. I never should have turned him into a friend by asking him for advice about Mark. And then I slept with him when I was seeing Mark. Why should anyone respect me? I've felt like this about Nate since we met and I never let him know. Instead, because I'm a dumb pussy, I cast him aside for someone else when I wanted him the whole time! I'm an ass. I have no chance with him again, so until I fix what I broke I may as well have fun right? George is fun. He's really awesome. He plays bass in a punk band, he's cute, he's sweet, he's smart, and we have a lot of shit in common. We both know its just a friends with benefits situation, so, theoretically, nothing can go wrong. He's as big a horndog as me, so I'm not going to be fooling myself into thinking he likes me. I just need to figure out if I'm ever going to confess my real feelings to Nate. I also need to figure out what I would say.