haha
although i'm very flattered, if you had succeeded in reading my entire profile, you'd see the section where it says i'm a HOMO.
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Eric
Date: Jul 9, 2005 10:07 PM
whats up
I have a spontaneous question for you
.. was wondering if you were into watching a guy get off on cam or in person
..........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
the truth is, seeing a guy jerk off might turn me on. but only b/c its sexual and seeing someone enjoy themselves turns me on. it just depends who the guy is... lol not some random myspace freak. who lives like 15 min from me! i mean really. what if i ran into him at the mall. how AWKWARD!
i suppose i should give an update about the comings and goings of my life. its not that interesting but its something to do.
so since i've been back i've gotten over my hideous cold. i haven't cleaned really. i started work today. i've been trying to find a new gym. i got a 3 day trial pass so i went this morning. i'm going to weight watchers w/ my mom tomorrow. woopwoop. i was ditched again by bryan. but he said he's had a bad week. so i'm giving him that. because its no fair to be a dick to him, even though people are dicks to me. so i am not calling him, if he wants to hang out with me then he can do that. i've been hanging out with kristin..i saw her 3 times since i've been home which is a record most certainly. but its really fun. plus she knows what im going through since she studied abroad in amsterdam.
a couple nights ago this girl who i'm kinda friends with, krissy, did a fortune telling reading for me w/ tarot cards. normally i don't believe in that stuff but i don't even talk to her or tell her whats going on in my life but the reading was dead on. she said i'm in a very dark place. she said i want to become more agressive and ballsy. she said i have greed..not in a bad way, theres just lots of things i want and i don't have any money (which is sooo true)..she said things will get better but i have to work on myself. which is also true. i have lots of things about me i don't like. i get walked over, i get treated like shit, i don't respect myself (so how can i expect others to respect me), i don't respect others sometimes.
i told my mom i'm not happy. i mean i'm happy but theres just shit that needs to get taken care of so i don't spend the rest of my life in this vicious cycle. and i think she takes it personally. i mean we do learn shit from our parents but it doesn't mean its the end of the world. i'm not gonna kill myself (not yet at least) so there is still hope. i just need to straighten myself out.
if only the people i wanted out of my life would stay out and the people i wanted in my life would just come in, that would be awesome. but then again this is life, and sometimes we can't control what happens. but i do believe that there is a lot we CAN control. and i'm going to start controlling. mine.
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Eric
Date: Jul 9, 2005 10:07 PM
whats up
I have a spontaneous question for you
.. was wondering if you were into watching a guy get off on cam or in person
..........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
the truth is, seeing a guy jerk off might turn me on. but only b/c its sexual and seeing someone enjoy themselves turns me on. it just depends who the guy is... lol not some random myspace freak. who lives like 15 min from me! i mean really. what if i ran into him at the mall. how AWKWARD!
i suppose i should give an update about the comings and goings of my life. its not that interesting but its something to do.
so since i've been back i've gotten over my hideous cold. i haven't cleaned really. i started work today. i've been trying to find a new gym. i got a 3 day trial pass so i went this morning. i'm going to weight watchers w/ my mom tomorrow. woopwoop. i was ditched again by bryan. but he said he's had a bad week. so i'm giving him that. because its no fair to be a dick to him, even though people are dicks to me. so i am not calling him, if he wants to hang out with me then he can do that. i've been hanging out with kristin..i saw her 3 times since i've been home which is a record most certainly. but its really fun. plus she knows what im going through since she studied abroad in amsterdam.
a couple nights ago this girl who i'm kinda friends with, krissy, did a fortune telling reading for me w/ tarot cards. normally i don't believe in that stuff but i don't even talk to her or tell her whats going on in my life but the reading was dead on. she said i'm in a very dark place. she said i want to become more agressive and ballsy. she said i have greed..not in a bad way, theres just lots of things i want and i don't have any money (which is sooo true)..she said things will get better but i have to work on myself. which is also true. i have lots of things about me i don't like. i get walked over, i get treated like shit, i don't respect myself (so how can i expect others to respect me), i don't respect others sometimes.
i told my mom i'm not happy. i mean i'm happy but theres just shit that needs to get taken care of so i don't spend the rest of my life in this vicious cycle. and i think she takes it personally. i mean we do learn shit from our parents but it doesn't mean its the end of the world. i'm not gonna kill myself (not yet at least) so there is still hope. i just need to straighten myself out.
if only the people i wanted out of my life would stay out and the people i wanted in my life would just come in, that would be awesome. but then again this is life, and sometimes we can't control what happens. but i do believe that there is a lot we CAN control. and i'm going to start controlling. mine.