im flipped
i think i only post here when im upset. and im not sad all the time i swear. :(
Remember that guy randy? well its been like 6 months since we started talking. we had such a connection in the beginning. and i went and saw him twice in ohio. i fell in love. again. i felt warm and safe in his arms, and i was happy just thinking about him. everything was great. then... everything changed.
He no longer calls me ...ever... he doesnt call me baby, or babe, or sweetie, or hun, or hunni anymore. no more kissy faces nothing. he thinks im always lying to him, and just i guess is afraid of what he suposibly feels for me. he says that he doesnt say "baby" just to get on my nerves, but i dont think he wants to. but whats really confusing is when i get phone calls at night and hes drunk, and tellin me he loves me and wants me to be with him, and that if i was in ohio he would want me as his girl friend. most of me wants to believe all that, but can i? they do say that when you're drunk the truth comes out. he doesnt believe that i dont want sex from anyone, that i dont want to do shit with anyone...because of him. i've tried. im just not "horny" for anyone but him. but he just has basically given up on me or atleast thats how it feels. he goes and gets head and sex from other girls in ohio. I dont blame him but he thinks that because hes doing it that i have to be doing it. im just not ready i guess. i still love him. thats sad right? hes like everything i look for but hes 400 miles away. I just dont know what to think anymore... i find out tonight that he got head from a girl and the room starts to spin. thats not supose to happen. hes not mine. i understand that. so you can stop tihnking that. i wish he was, but hes not, and theres nothing i can do about it. If i could just pick up and leave i would go to ohio right now. I just dont know what to think anymore. i just dont know.... can someone help me turn my world right side up again? please. i just want to feel like he wants me to keep caring, and that he's gonna care back. thats all. thats all i ask. is that too much?
Remember that guy randy? well its been like 6 months since we started talking. we had such a connection in the beginning. and i went and saw him twice in ohio. i fell in love. again. i felt warm and safe in his arms, and i was happy just thinking about him. everything was great. then... everything changed.
He no longer calls me ...ever... he doesnt call me baby, or babe, or sweetie, or hun, or hunni anymore. no more kissy faces nothing. he thinks im always lying to him, and just i guess is afraid of what he suposibly feels for me. he says that he doesnt say "baby" just to get on my nerves, but i dont think he wants to. but whats really confusing is when i get phone calls at night and hes drunk, and tellin me he loves me and wants me to be with him, and that if i was in ohio he would want me as his girl friend. most of me wants to believe all that, but can i? they do say that when you're drunk the truth comes out. he doesnt believe that i dont want sex from anyone, that i dont want to do shit with anyone...because of him. i've tried. im just not "horny" for anyone but him. but he just has basically given up on me or atleast thats how it feels. he goes and gets head and sex from other girls in ohio. I dont blame him but he thinks that because hes doing it that i have to be doing it. im just not ready i guess. i still love him. thats sad right? hes like everything i look for but hes 400 miles away. I just dont know what to think anymore... i find out tonight that he got head from a girl and the room starts to spin. thats not supose to happen. hes not mine. i understand that. so you can stop tihnking that. i wish he was, but hes not, and theres nothing i can do about it. If i could just pick up and leave i would go to ohio right now. I just dont know what to think anymore. i just dont know.... can someone help me turn my world right side up again? please. i just want to feel like he wants me to keep caring, and that he's gonna care back. thats all. thats all i ask. is that too much?