So much fail.

Apr 15, 2008 18:51

So my lost purse with my debit card (now hot carded) and I think with A Movable Feast (thankfully already finished, though I'm one of the few in my class who likes it, damn it)? Also had my flash drive in it. And I hadn't sent important paper to my prof while all fucked up with sleep dep like I thought I had. And it was only on that lost ( Read more... )

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tuesdayfic April 16 2008, 13:58:41 UTC
The thing about sand and water mixing was that the sand clumped, became too difficult to manipulate. It weighed down with the water, refused to move until it dried out as though paralyzed.

So when Gaara said he did not want to go in the lake this last day of vacation and instead sat on a cloud of his sand a few inches from the shore, staring at the water with suspicion, Lee didn't insist. And when Naruto shoved him in anyway, laughing and shouting something about getting his feet wet, Lee helped fish the both out before they drowned.

Who tried to fight underwater anyway?

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And second one! (Because you know about it, but it will never be finished, hokage!Lee AU snippet) tuesdayfic April 16 2008, 14:50:07 UTC
Shino knew this was bad, had known this was bad even before Rock Lee had appeared without the Hokage's cap or his weights, flying in like some avenging god, but even then knowing it couldn't be enough, not with so many away ( ... )

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Re: And second one! (Because you know about it, but it will never be finished, hokage!Lee AU snippet anonymous April 16 2008, 15:55:18 UTC
[ sorry if this seems stilted. Wrote this twice because first time it didn't want to post. TT ]

Gaara was fairly convinced that Lee wasn't stupid. Perhaps oblivious to the point of it being deliberate naievity; or maybe Lee just retained intillect in certain areas while greatly neglecting others, but Gaara was pretty sure that Lee wasn't inspid and didn't have a death wish. It still didn't explain the deluge of water dripping from his hair and smudging up the ink of the reports, strewn and floating across his suddenly flooded desk ( ... )

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My drabble - let me shows you it lizfu April 16 2008, 04:46:29 UTC
I couldn't think of any fanfiction *fails* so I decided to give you original fiction. Exactly 100 words. Quality is not guaranteed, unfortunately. Man, Zane is an asshole....:

When Zane looks at Luca, he sees the other man’s sister. They share the same sleek black hair, though hers had been shinier while Luca’s is dull at any angle in any light. They have the same build: slim and small. As Zane holds him in his arms, it feels like he is holding her all over again. Luca isn’t weak as she had been. He genuinely has muscle on his body, though in his uniform, it is hard to tell. Underneath, Zane feels the same fragility that Luca’s sister had, and when he kisses Luca, he's kissing her again.

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Re: My drabble - let me shows you it tuesdayfic April 16 2008, 14:04:34 UTC
[also original]
"What do you mean you were elected emperor?"

"Your asshole brother abdicated while you were gone, and tried instituting a democratic system. They didn't understand the idea of a president, but they did end up deciding I could run the country better, and they all apparently think I'm married to you anyway."

"But we're both male!"

"I know."

“I’m going to kill him.”

“Oh, don’t worry. One of my first acts as emperor was his execution.”

“What?”

“I’m kidding.”

“Oh, good.”

“I tried to have him flogged.”

“I really hope you’re kidding.”

“If that’s what helps you sleep at night.”

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Re: My drabble - let me shows you it tuesdayfic April 16 2008, 16:10:27 UTC
[also original and exactly 100 words]

She pushed a hand through her spiky hair, trying to judge if green just wasn’t her color, or if she really was that pale, like fish left too long in the fridge. “Bring me the razor.”

“Tess.”

“Razor.” She held out a hand.

“Only if you promise not to shave your eyebrows this time.”

Tess turned to her boyfriend, lifting one of the eyebrows he deemed too precious to go. “And if I did, what then?”

“You freak,” he said with some affection. “If I didn’t dump you over the pegging, I’m not going to dump you over the hair.”

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Re: My drabble - let me shows you it lizfu April 16 2008, 18:22:31 UTC
The ending I want to write for the short story I'm revising for English class:

"I don't love her anymore!" Eric shouted at the desert sky.

He then tackled Karl and they had hot, impractical sex that lasted all day and went well into the night. Eric got sand up his ass, but he had never felt better.

The End.

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Gai, Kakashi fascimility April 16 2008, 07:46:18 UTC
[I hope things go better with you. TT____TT The part about starving in the bathroom scares me. It's a horrid and sinking and utterly helpless and raging feeling to lose something that important. D: Chill. ♥ Stay okay.]

*

Gai thrust his hips out in a manly show of prowess. The glare of the sun magnified tenfold upon being reflected off the surface of Gai's teeth, rendering Kakashi temporarily blind.

He squinted through the unrelenting glare, but relented in a moment conceded some ground by raising a languid arm in defence.

"Like this!" Gai proclaimed, ever so subtly shifting his stance. "The angle of your hips is incorrect, Kakashi!"

Well damn, Kakashi thought. The sharingan might render flawless illusions to the viewer, Gai, Gai's sunsets and waves were seen by everyoneIt was with great regret that nightfall came, and with it the ignomity of defeat. There was no illusion that escaped Kakashi's mastery, save perhaps the inexplicability of sheer Gai-ness. Kakashi didn't think his raging blizzard over snowy wasteland would cut it ( ... )

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Re: Gai, Kakashi tuesdayfic April 16 2008, 14:18:02 UTC
[I ended up going home and getting some sleep, and I'm feeling better as far as the despair goes. There's still rage and a sick helpless feeling, but I'm doing better. Thanks. ♥ I took the prompt you'd submitted for this, and it's an exact drabble (100 words).]

"There are some boxes that should stay closed," said Kakashi, "because if you open them, there's no going back."

Guy swallowed hard, mouth dry. "Maybe I don’t want to go back," he said, voice hoarse, words crackling like dry leaves in his mouth.

Kakashi looked away. "So that means you get to decide for everyone?"

“No,” said Guy. “But what if the box is already open?”

Kakashi ran a tired hand down the side of his face. Guy didn’t reach out. What was there left to say?

“Give me some time,” said Kakashi.

Guy nodded. Time was all he had.

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Second Guy/Kakashi tuesdayfic April 16 2008, 16:23:50 UTC
And for your second one, something happier crack-ier:

Kakashi looked from Guy to the dresser. "No," he said. Guy gave Kakashi one of those pleading looks. "Hell, no."

"I did your stupid sexy no jutsu challenge and roleplayed three scenes from Icha Icha Tactics," Guy pointed out ( ... )

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Re: Second Guy/Kakashi fascimility April 17 2008, 07:49:02 UTC
[Holy crap. The first one wrenched my insides very very subtly. Subtly, but oh, painfully like never. This is all my fault for giving prompts from which nothing good will come out of. The second one is love. :D really. It made my day. Because I honestly worship your writing, I offer up my own writing (which is admittedly lousy and of dubious quality) in exchange for more. Not exactly fair, but ( ... )

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call_me_ishmael April 16 2008, 19:58:32 UTC
Temari had no idea why Tenten came to her for sex advice. She was minding her own business in a bathhouse, soaking in a sinful amount of water when Tenten entered and said "I need some advice," and starting pouring out how Neji was a dead fuck and Tenten was ridiculously virginal.
It went on and on and on until the Sunagakure shinobi couldn't fucking take it anymore. "Get dressed and find your prissy boyfriend."
"What?" Tenten blinked her big brown eyes, stopping mid-sentence about how she was scared about going down on Neji or some shit. Amateurs.
"I don't do advice," Temari explained as she stood up, not bothering to hide her body with a towel. "I do hands-on.”

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tuesdayfic April 16 2008, 23:19:55 UTC
Right before Ino began at the Academy, she'd climbed with her mother to the top of the steps carved steep into the side of the hokage memorial. As they'd approached, her mother had pointed each hokage out and told their story. When she reached the last, she stammered a little over the end of his story. "And then he sealed--he. He saved the village." After a brooding moment, she buried her hand in Ino's hair and concluded, "He was a very great man ( ... )

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And just for you: hokage Lee AU snippet that wouldn't have made it in anyway tuesdayfic April 16 2008, 23:55:23 UTC
"It's too soon," Guy finally admitted, unusually still for someone usually making stealth maneuvers to steal the covers or clinging close for what he claimed was warmth and was absolutely not cuddling, of course not--what sort of fool would try cuddling with the cool, cold, distant Sharingan user Hatake Kakashi ( ... )

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BAD ATTEMPT AT LEE/GAARA FEMSLASH call_me_ishmael April 17 2008, 00:27:33 UTC
Lee had always had a dream of being swept off her feet by a handsome young man. As she grew older, and realized she was really quite ugly, that changed to sweeping some man off his feet. That didn't work out so well either, given her success rate.

As Gaara shoves Lee back into a wall and bites her neck hard enough to draw blood, the young woman, between yelped protests, wonders if this is considered being swept off her feet, or is more being pushed down the stairs.

The voice raspy as sand growls “Mine,” and Lee decides it’s a nice thing, either way.

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Journal log, Konoha day 3 blackheisei April 23 2008, 03:14:12 UTC
[As previously suspected, trees make people strange. This is the only explanation for the behavior of the ninja of this village. Some chemical in the pollen... maybe spores from the mushrooms.

They eat mushrooms. Kankuro informs me that mushrooms can be dangerous, containing toxins that kill or impair. I find this telling evidence.

Rock Lee is a prime subject for observation. While his strength is impressive, his training methods are reckless. I find it suspect that he actually DESIRES to behave like his teacher. Also: Lee eats mushrooms. FROM THE GROUND. He picked one off the ground of the forest, brushed it off, and ATE IT. It must be the mushrooms.

...I must see if I can get Temari to eat one. So that I can observe her behavior. I would try Kankuro, but I am unsure I would be able to tell if his strange behavior was fungus related, or traumatic brain injury from battle.

...That is another possible explanation for Rock Lee. I must observe more.

Gaara]

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Re: Journal log, Konoha day 3 blackheisei April 23 2008, 03:23:06 UTC
Naruto would never say it out loud, (at least not where Gaara could hear him) but it was kind of cute to watch him follow Lee around. The note book think was kinda creepy, but far from the strangest thing people did in their spare time.

It was also kinda cute how Lee was pretending to not notice the fact that Gaara had been following him nonstop for the past three days. The idea of LEE and GAARA was still kind of... yeah... but it was nice to see his friends getting along. Gaara needed more friends anyways.

As Naruto wandered off, whistling tunelessly, Gaara flipped a page and made more notes.

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Not everyone in Konoha reacted to news of their special bloodlines with joy and celebration tuesdayfic April 23 2008, 03:29:21 UTC
When Shino was three, his father took him out to the woods to observe the insects. Shino was kind of scared, but at least they were outside and so it didn't seem that bad. Then his father said in what was likely intended as a passing comment, "Of course, these aren't the same as the ones currently in you, but-"

It was at this point that Shino's terrified shrieking cut off whatever his father had been about to say.

Despite only being three, it took ten minutes and some Nara intervention to get Shino calmed down enough to stop clawing at his skin in panic. Tranquilizers were involved.

--

"Seriously, that can't be the reason you cover yourself up," Kiba said, trying to peer into the coat.

Shino gazed back, easier to deadpan with the sunglasses hiding the way he, too, looked at the coat, though with a more uneasy gaze. "I told you," he said. "I'm very body shy."

These days he was even able to completely cover the shudder as he felt the insects move uneasily under his skin at the not-quite lie.

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Re: Not everyone in Konoha reacted to news of their special bloodlines with joy and celebration tuesdayfic April 27 2008, 20:57:51 UTC
Once upon a time, there was a peach tree in the Hatake gardens ( ... )

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