So much fail.
So my lost purse with my debit card (now hot carded) and I think with A Movable Feast (thankfully already finished, though I'm one of the few in my class who likes it, damn it)? Also had my flash drive in it. And I hadn't sent important paper to my prof while all fucked up with sleep dep like I thought I had. And it was only on that lost
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So when Gaara said he did not want to go in the lake this last day of vacation and instead sat on a cloud of his sand a few inches from the shore, staring at the water with suspicion, Lee didn't insist. And when Naruto shoved him in anyway, laughing and shouting something about getting his feet wet, Lee helped fish the both out before they drowned.
Who tried to fight underwater anyway?
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Gaara was fairly convinced that Lee wasn't stupid. Perhaps oblivious to the point of it being deliberate naievity; or maybe Lee just retained intillect in certain areas while greatly neglecting others, but Gaara was pretty sure that Lee wasn't inspid and didn't have a death wish. It still didn't explain the deluge of water dripping from his hair and smudging up the ink of the reports, strewn and floating across his suddenly flooded desk ( ... )
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When Zane looks at Luca, he sees the other man’s sister. They share the same sleek black hair, though hers had been shinier while Luca’s is dull at any angle in any light. They have the same build: slim and small. As Zane holds him in his arms, it feels like he is holding her all over again. Luca isn’t weak as she had been. He genuinely has muscle on his body, though in his uniform, it is hard to tell. Underneath, Zane feels the same fragility that Luca’s sister had, and when he kisses Luca, he's kissing her again.
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"What do you mean you were elected emperor?"
"Your asshole brother abdicated while you were gone, and tried instituting a democratic system. They didn't understand the idea of a president, but they did end up deciding I could run the country better, and they all apparently think I'm married to you anyway."
"But we're both male!"
"I know."
“I’m going to kill him.”
“Oh, don’t worry. One of my first acts as emperor was his execution.”
“What?”
“I’m kidding.”
“Oh, good.”
“I tried to have him flogged.”
“I really hope you’re kidding.”
“If that’s what helps you sleep at night.”
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She pushed a hand through her spiky hair, trying to judge if green just wasn’t her color, or if she really was that pale, like fish left too long in the fridge. “Bring me the razor.”
“Tess.”
“Razor.” She held out a hand.
“Only if you promise not to shave your eyebrows this time.”
Tess turned to her boyfriend, lifting one of the eyebrows he deemed too precious to go. “And if I did, what then?”
“You freak,” he said with some affection. “If I didn’t dump you over the pegging, I’m not going to dump you over the hair.”
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"I don't love her anymore!" Eric shouted at the desert sky.
He then tackled Karl and they had hot, impractical sex that lasted all day and went well into the night. Eric got sand up his ass, but he had never felt better.
The End.
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*
Gai thrust his hips out in a manly show of prowess. The glare of the sun magnified tenfold upon being reflected off the surface of Gai's teeth, rendering Kakashi temporarily blind.
He squinted through the unrelenting glare, but relented in a moment conceded some ground by raising a languid arm in defence.
"Like this!" Gai proclaimed, ever so subtly shifting his stance. "The angle of your hips is incorrect, Kakashi!"
Well damn, Kakashi thought. The sharingan might render flawless illusions to the viewer, Gai, Gai's sunsets and waves were seen by everyoneIt was with great regret that nightfall came, and with it the ignomity of defeat. There was no illusion that escaped Kakashi's mastery, save perhaps the inexplicability of sheer Gai-ness. Kakashi didn't think his raging blizzard over snowy wasteland would cut it ( ... )
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"There are some boxes that should stay closed," said Kakashi, "because if you open them, there's no going back."
Guy swallowed hard, mouth dry. "Maybe I don’t want to go back," he said, voice hoarse, words crackling like dry leaves in his mouth.
Kakashi looked away. "So that means you get to decide for everyone?"
“No,” said Guy. “But what if the box is already open?”
Kakashi ran a tired hand down the side of his face. Guy didn’t reach out. What was there left to say?
“Give me some time,” said Kakashi.
Guy nodded. Time was all he had.
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Kakashi looked from Guy to the dresser. "No," he said. Guy gave Kakashi one of those pleading looks. "Hell, no."
"I did your stupid sexy no jutsu challenge and roleplayed three scenes from Icha Icha Tactics," Guy pointed out ( ... )
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It went on and on and on until the Sunagakure shinobi couldn't fucking take it anymore. "Get dressed and find your prissy boyfriend."
"What?" Tenten blinked her big brown eyes, stopping mid-sentence about how she was scared about going down on Neji or some shit. Amateurs.
"I don't do advice," Temari explained as she stood up, not bothering to hide her body with a towel. "I do hands-on.”
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As Gaara shoves Lee back into a wall and bites her neck hard enough to draw blood, the young woman, between yelped protests, wonders if this is considered being swept off her feet, or is more being pushed down the stairs.
The voice raspy as sand growls “Mine,” and Lee decides it’s a nice thing, either way.
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They eat mushrooms. Kankuro informs me that mushrooms can be dangerous, containing toxins that kill or impair. I find this telling evidence.
Rock Lee is a prime subject for observation. While his strength is impressive, his training methods are reckless. I find it suspect that he actually DESIRES to behave like his teacher. Also: Lee eats mushrooms. FROM THE GROUND. He picked one off the ground of the forest, brushed it off, and ATE IT. It must be the mushrooms.
...I must see if I can get Temari to eat one. So that I can observe her behavior. I would try Kankuro, but I am unsure I would be able to tell if his strange behavior was fungus related, or traumatic brain injury from battle.
...That is another possible explanation for Rock Lee. I must observe more.
Gaara]
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It was also kinda cute how Lee was pretending to not notice the fact that Gaara had been following him nonstop for the past three days. The idea of LEE and GAARA was still kind of... yeah... but it was nice to see his friends getting along. Gaara needed more friends anyways.
As Naruto wandered off, whistling tunelessly, Gaara flipped a page and made more notes.
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It was at this point that Shino's terrified shrieking cut off whatever his father had been about to say.
Despite only being three, it took ten minutes and some Nara intervention to get Shino calmed down enough to stop clawing at his skin in panic. Tranquilizers were involved.
--
"Seriously, that can't be the reason you cover yourself up," Kiba said, trying to peer into the coat.
Shino gazed back, easier to deadpan with the sunglasses hiding the way he, too, looked at the coat, though with a more uneasy gaze. "I told you," he said. "I'm very body shy."
These days he was even able to completely cover the shudder as he felt the insects move uneasily under his skin at the not-quite lie.
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