old buddyyyy, old palllll
I can always rely on old livejournal to distract me from doing what I should be
anddd making me sound a lot more pensive and insightful than i really am.
but alright, realistically, no one really uses lj anymore, so time to be candid:
- i have such a FUCKED UP tendency to avoid the things that are most important for fear of failure/disappointment. oh WOW, i'm even doing it at this very moment. i KNOW it's bad, but i almost think it's too late to change.
- I don't care who you are, it's so easy to feel like SHIT for not looking like megan fox or whoever the fuck. i get it, she's hot, but damn, it sure doesn't make the rest of us feel adequate or to standard.
- since being single for the first time ever, i'm really finding out what i want/don't want in a guy, and it's kinda tight. but i also don't like to discriminate or rule out people necessarily just because of one little quality they lack/have.
- moving into a house and having my own room for the first time is exciting. but what a fucking BITCH it is to pack shit up and clear out everything. it's seriously overwhelming, i really would rather just throw everything away and start anew than go through all my crap and load it into 439853498 boxes. NO THANK YOU.
- dogs OWN cats by EVERY metric. DGAF about those fucking bitchy ass felines, dogs are LOYAL, FRIENDLY, FUN, ACTIVE COMPANIONS. and EVERY time someone says their cat is cool, it's because they have DOG-LIKE tendencies.
- i still don't know WHAT THE FUCK i want to do with my life. i know i want to be happy, i know i want to help the world someway/somehow, but i am so lost as to what exactly i can do to get there. and as always, afraid to fucking fail and never make it.
- i need to pray more. i really, really, really do. not just to ask for things, but to be thankful for the fact that i'm alive and breathing and capable of anything. i almost feel scared to pray because of how i guilty i feel for having not for so long.
anyway, thank you livejournal for existing, this really did help. or, while I'm at it, thank you GOD-- for the internet, for megan fox, for relationships, for my new house, for my dog, for my future, for everything.