i should have known taylor swift when i was a lot younger
Last month i was back-reading my blog and its just now that i realized that a Taylor Swift song is just perfect for those teenybopper moments.
Oh i was trying to be dramatic even poetic in every post!
I wasn't really trying to immortalize those moments i just wanted to have an outlet. I always thought that those emotions were precious and shouldn't be wasted. I wanted the world to know.. thinking that everything was as important as a popular kid's comment on Friendster (yeah remember that testimonial-driven social network.)
Oh my mediocre teenage years!
Excert from February Wind.
The wind blew. No jacket for me.
I walked straight at the side of the grandstand. Still cold yet, that happy line shows up across my face.
It was already dim and I could only sharply see beaming lights everywhere.
Everywhere.
Seconds. A loud color green caught my attention. No leaf could resemble that piece of peace I felt upon seeing the hue of my choice.
He was sitting at one of the benches. Hugging his knees. Fighting that nasty February wind just like me.
It was Him. The one I constantly stalk. The hobby. The-Extra-curricular-activity- of-mine-Guy…
Slow motion rapidly caught me. Flushed. Feverish.
I smiled, still walking.
Hey! It cant end just like this!
So, I went down the lane and went behind the cars parked at the area. And then found my chance. One last look , I said. I, still walking.
But, he wasnt there! Confusion. Disappointment.
I walked.
At the other side of those cars I saw lights. Beaming. Showing itself. Everywhere.
And Him.
We walked side by side. Cars between us. He was moving fast or it was just me slowing everything, trying to find a way to slow Him down as well. He wont. I know.
I let Him walked the same phase. Then I went up the lane again. He was in front of me.
Cold, he was hugging himself. Fighting that nasty February wind just like me.
I texted Marice. I wanted to text everybody and express that happiness, but thanks to the expired unlimitxt I wasnt able to.
It was a silly scene.
I texting, then looking at him.
And to my surprise I notice that he was wearing that Chicosci hair style.
I wanted to roar with laughter. But, for two reasons I cant. It was not a great idea to laugh all by yourself and second, I was at peace… no need for sound I guess.
I did not follow Him. We were just walking the same path. He was just ahead.
He went out the P. Noval gate and had the route I usually take. He was too fast and the crowd gets thicker. Im losing sight of Him.
Then I found my jeep.
I wanted to walk with Him, even if He didn’t see me. Even if I was just behind Him. Doesnt really matter.
But, I took the jeep. It was useless following Him. He is going to fast. I cant stop Him.
I still had a glance of that green… peace.
But, the jeep is simply not moving. It was useless.
That was it... I guess.
For now.
**This is about a short-lived crush cause he eventually became my blockmate's boyfriend. Looking back, well i cant even look back! This is way way out there exceeded the most laughable thing ever! [inserts ROFL emoticon]
Epic! I miss those days when i can let out a loud sigh on my blog without worrying how people would react (not that anybody would read this) but im more concerned that people might find a straight forward/ raw emotion-filled blog too self-serving. Even stupid.
I miss the old me. I dont want to care but sometimes you just have to do some self-censorship just so not to hurt others or at least not to disturb their peace. I dont know if this is maturity. This Censorship. But i wish i could find a way to post here my raw emotions without stirring anything. Gahh i dont even know why am i worrying about this.
Anyways i still think that my old posts are epic, mostly senseless but nonetheless epic because they are real and raw!
Oh i was trying to be dramatic even poetic in every post!
I wasn't really trying to immortalize those moments i just wanted to have an outlet. I always thought that those emotions were precious and shouldn't be wasted. I wanted the world to know.. thinking that everything was as important as a popular kid's comment on Friendster (yeah remember that testimonial-driven social network.)
Oh my mediocre teenage years!
Excert from February Wind.
The wind blew. No jacket for me.
I walked straight at the side of the grandstand. Still cold yet, that happy line shows up across my face.
It was already dim and I could only sharply see beaming lights everywhere.
Everywhere.
Seconds. A loud color green caught my attention. No leaf could resemble that piece of peace I felt upon seeing the hue of my choice.
He was sitting at one of the benches. Hugging his knees. Fighting that nasty February wind just like me.
It was Him. The one I constantly stalk. The hobby. The-Extra-curricular-activity- of-mine-Guy…
Slow motion rapidly caught me. Flushed. Feverish.
I smiled, still walking.
Hey! It cant end just like this!
So, I went down the lane and went behind the cars parked at the area. And then found my chance. One last look , I said. I, still walking.
But, he wasnt there! Confusion. Disappointment.
I walked.
At the other side of those cars I saw lights. Beaming. Showing itself. Everywhere.
And Him.
We walked side by side. Cars between us. He was moving fast or it was just me slowing everything, trying to find a way to slow Him down as well. He wont. I know.
I let Him walked the same phase. Then I went up the lane again. He was in front of me.
Cold, he was hugging himself. Fighting that nasty February wind just like me.
I texted Marice. I wanted to text everybody and express that happiness, but thanks to the expired unlimitxt I wasnt able to.
It was a silly scene.
I texting, then looking at him.
And to my surprise I notice that he was wearing that Chicosci hair style.
I wanted to roar with laughter. But, for two reasons I cant. It was not a great idea to laugh all by yourself and second, I was at peace… no need for sound I guess.
I did not follow Him. We were just walking the same path. He was just ahead.
He went out the P. Noval gate and had the route I usually take. He was too fast and the crowd gets thicker. Im losing sight of Him.
Then I found my jeep.
I wanted to walk with Him, even if He didn’t see me. Even if I was just behind Him. Doesnt really matter.
But, I took the jeep. It was useless following Him. He is going to fast. I cant stop Him.
I still had a glance of that green… peace.
But, the jeep is simply not moving. It was useless.
That was it... I guess.
For now.
**This is about a short-lived crush cause he eventually became my blockmate's boyfriend. Looking back, well i cant even look back! This is way way out there exceeded the most laughable thing ever! [inserts ROFL emoticon]
Epic! I miss those days when i can let out a loud sigh on my blog without worrying how people would react (not that anybody would read this) but im more concerned that people might find a straight forward/ raw emotion-filled blog too self-serving. Even stupid.
I miss the old me. I dont want to care but sometimes you just have to do some self-censorship just so not to hurt others or at least not to disturb their peace. I dont know if this is maturity. This Censorship. But i wish i could find a way to post here my raw emotions without stirring anything. Gahh i dont even know why am i worrying about this.
Anyways i still think that my old posts are epic, mostly senseless but nonetheless epic because they are real and raw!