Angst, Jealousy and Sloth: A Semi-Auto-Biographical Moment in Fiction
Angst was sitting angrily, wishing the world wasn’t so cruel to him for making him wait through four minutes of commercials for a show he didn’t even want to watch anyway; he was only sitting through it because it didn’t suck as much as everything else. As he continued to not enjoy the programming, his doorbell rang.
Great, he thought. Probably a creditor. I have the worst life ever.
It was not, however, a creditor. Standing at the door was Jealousy, accompanied by Sloth, who was still coming up the walkway in his electric wheelchair.
Angst didn’t say anything, he just left the door open and slouched back onto the couch.
“I guess you’re just going to keep the whole couch to yourself, huh?” Jealousy asked, a flare of accusation in his voice.
“Whatever. My life sucks enough as it is. You can have the whole couch, I don’t care, I’ll just sit on the floor.”
Angst rolled off the couch and lay on the carpet while Jealousy walked over and lay on the couch; as he sat down, he noted to himself that Angst had taken the best spot on the floor, closest to the television. He frowned.
Sloth finally arrived in the living room, panting. The low whirring noise of the mechanical chair distracted Angst from the television show. He turned around angrily.
“You guys, I’ve been waiting all day to watch this and now you’re just coming in and taking my seat and making lots of noise! Why doesn’t everyone just leave me alone?”
“Why do you get all the attention?” Jealousy sharply retorted. “It’s all about you, never me! And we never watch what I want to watch!”
Meanwhile, Sloth, noting that the Laz-E-Boy next to the couch looked a lot more comfortable than his chair. He began to slowly, without exerting himself, slug from one seat to the next.
“You want the remote?” Angst asked in a shout. “Well take it! Just take everything from me!” As he said it, he threw the remote at the couch. It bounced off a cushion and fell next to Sloth, who was halfway on his desired seat, halfway on the floor.
“Sloth, why do you get the good chair?” Jealousy demanded. “Give me that remote.”
Sloth looked over at the remote sitting five inches away from his waist. He let out a long sigh, then stopped moving entirely. Angst frowned.
“Fine. Go to sleep in my living room. I’m going to order a pizza and listen to Fallout Boy. He’s the only one that understands me anyway.”
Jealousy, who’d already walked over and retrieved the remote from Sloth (as well as all the pillows on the recliner), turned around ans asked, “What are you getting on your pizza?”
Angst simply replied, “Who cares? They’ll probably screw up my order anyway.”
They did, as the order he placed of “whatever” came back as a large cheese pizza. Jealousy scowled from a distance as Angst ate. Sloth watched reruns of That 70's Show for the next three hours.
Great, he thought. Probably a creditor. I have the worst life ever.
It was not, however, a creditor. Standing at the door was Jealousy, accompanied by Sloth, who was still coming up the walkway in his electric wheelchair.
Angst didn’t say anything, he just left the door open and slouched back onto the couch.
“I guess you’re just going to keep the whole couch to yourself, huh?” Jealousy asked, a flare of accusation in his voice.
“Whatever. My life sucks enough as it is. You can have the whole couch, I don’t care, I’ll just sit on the floor.”
Angst rolled off the couch and lay on the carpet while Jealousy walked over and lay on the couch; as he sat down, he noted to himself that Angst had taken the best spot on the floor, closest to the television. He frowned.
Sloth finally arrived in the living room, panting. The low whirring noise of the mechanical chair distracted Angst from the television show. He turned around angrily.
“You guys, I’ve been waiting all day to watch this and now you’re just coming in and taking my seat and making lots of noise! Why doesn’t everyone just leave me alone?”
“Why do you get all the attention?” Jealousy sharply retorted. “It’s all about you, never me! And we never watch what I want to watch!”
Meanwhile, Sloth, noting that the Laz-E-Boy next to the couch looked a lot more comfortable than his chair. He began to slowly, without exerting himself, slug from one seat to the next.
“You want the remote?” Angst asked in a shout. “Well take it! Just take everything from me!” As he said it, he threw the remote at the couch. It bounced off a cushion and fell next to Sloth, who was halfway on his desired seat, halfway on the floor.
“Sloth, why do you get the good chair?” Jealousy demanded. “Give me that remote.”
Sloth looked over at the remote sitting five inches away from his waist. He let out a long sigh, then stopped moving entirely. Angst frowned.
“Fine. Go to sleep in my living room. I’m going to order a pizza and listen to Fallout Boy. He’s the only one that understands me anyway.”
Jealousy, who’d already walked over and retrieved the remote from Sloth (as well as all the pillows on the recliner), turned around ans asked, “What are you getting on your pizza?”
Angst simply replied, “Who cares? They’ll probably screw up my order anyway.”
They did, as the order he placed of “whatever” came back as a large cheese pizza. Jealousy scowled from a distance as Angst ate. Sloth watched reruns of That 70's Show for the next three hours.