about the last entry...
OK soo maybe just maybe i was a little harsh in my last entry but you guys dont understand how much i am hurting right now..i hate feeling like i am the only one who cares....WHY DO I ALWAYS HAVE TO BE THE ONE WHOO FUCKEN CARES!!!!!!!!!
I HATE LOVE!!....I HATE THE WORD LOVE!!
it just dont exsist...2 times in a row....
and yeah i maybe young but 1 out of those 2 guys was what i really wanted...was what my heart pounded for...but...like always Guys always run away!...scared...why?...why cant a guy accpet it when a girl has accepted the mistakes and forgives it...i forgive you for being an idiot but girls are soo fuck Minupultive!!!....I hate girls!..i hate being a girl.....hahah..well i dont but i hate those kinds of girls that gives girls a bad name!....Like hmm...Vanessa...or hmm Jessica!...those 2 girls are girls i will never be able to forgive!...Vanessa for taking jose away from me and then just "chewing him up and spitting him out"..when we could have been happy!!..And jessica for being such a ragging slut...that she had to go and get pregant with freddie's baby one reason i will never go back i jsut cant live with that. i Hate Jessica more than i hate vanessa and those 2 girls are the only girls i can honestly say i hate...But jessica will always be number one...and i dont think i have really forgiven freddie for that cuz I loved him..and i know that he loved me too he may have never said it to me directly but i know he did...and that summer b4 he left ...we had sumtime..sumthing special sumthing i will never forget...and then i had to go threw junior year...being in such a depression that i thought i would never get out of til jose came along and i thought maybe just maybe he was different...but you know his just the same..let another girl get in the way like why he told me he loved me *FIRST* and i belived him he said we were gonna be together "til one of us died" i just cant forget abouth im i cant jsut cut him out of my life but its sumthing that i think i just might have to do cuz i cant seem to forget about him and what we had!! but its sumthing that i have to deal with...and i'm pretty sure i will get over it in time...but....it just really sucks that it had to happen twice..because of Freddie and Jose i dont trust guys...and i dont belive in a thing called "love"...cuz whatever it is...it shouldnt hurt this bad....
<33KrystaL*
ps...i am the one you denyed u pushed me off everytime i tried but i'm alright i'm able to swallow my pride and put all the b/s to the side
pss...its your love it jsut does something to me it sends a shock right threw me i cant get enough