I see right thru to you.................
I'm only going to say this one last time. If someone has a problem with me, bring it up with me and no one else.
Yes, I admit that I've done stupid things. Really stupid things. But who hasn't??
Let me clarify a couple of things for people that don't know me as well.
First off, I have A.D.D.(Attention Deficit Disorder). Add in the fact that I have a few attitude problems. Basically that means that if I get frustrated or if I have a major headache, I will fly off the handle. It's happened many times before. They're not my proudest moments, but these moments are a part of me, like it or not. I have tried for the past 17 years to keep my overreactions under control, but every once in awhile, it slips out and I lost control of my actions.
I've started getting in control, but as I mentioned above, It slips out every once in awhile. I just wanted to apologize to anyone that has been around me when I get like that. I'm sorry.
Second, someone who will remain nameless has brought it to my attention that I act like a 10 year old, that if I don't get my way, I'll stomp my feet and cry, and that I also try to leech popularity and other such things from people around me. I'm making this point very clear. I am 24 years old chronologically, but, as much as I hate to admit it, I have the mentality of a 15 year old at times. I try to be myself around people because I want them to like me for who I really am, but the hard part about that is that I don't know who I really am. All I really wanted was to have friends and fit in. I was the basic social through out my grade school career up until my junior year of high school. I was finally making friends and I was happy.
When I started college, I met Maxwell. I was taking summer courses at CCM(County College of Morris) at the time. I met him when we were waiting for the bus to Dover. We got to talking, realized that we had a few common interests and started hanging out a lot. There was a point where we lost touch, but we ended up hanging out a lot again.
He's one of the people that I've hurt badly with my violent outbursts, and I feel terrible about it. During TurkeyCon, when he was away from the table, I started telling a story from a former convention experience that I will not mention ever again, but he was upset and I completely lost it. I tried strangling him in the restaurant we were in and I stalked out.
That whole thing has been haunting me since it happened. I wish I could take it back. I wish I could take everything back, but, unfortunately, I can't.
It didn't hit me until later, but when I was lying in my bed, in the dark that night, I cried myself to sleep because I knew then that had done irreversible damage to a very cherished friendship. I hurt not only him, but myself because of how I reacted.
Maxwell, I am truly sorry for everything that I have done and/or said to you. I swear to you now that I will never mention that story again to anyone.
Yes, I admit that I've done stupid things. Really stupid things. But who hasn't??
Let me clarify a couple of things for people that don't know me as well.
First off, I have A.D.D.(Attention Deficit Disorder). Add in the fact that I have a few attitude problems. Basically that means that if I get frustrated or if I have a major headache, I will fly off the handle. It's happened many times before. They're not my proudest moments, but these moments are a part of me, like it or not. I have tried for the past 17 years to keep my overreactions under control, but every once in awhile, it slips out and I lost control of my actions.
I've started getting in control, but as I mentioned above, It slips out every once in awhile. I just wanted to apologize to anyone that has been around me when I get like that. I'm sorry.
Second, someone who will remain nameless has brought it to my attention that I act like a 10 year old, that if I don't get my way, I'll stomp my feet and cry, and that I also try to leech popularity and other such things from people around me. I'm making this point very clear. I am 24 years old chronologically, but, as much as I hate to admit it, I have the mentality of a 15 year old at times. I try to be myself around people because I want them to like me for who I really am, but the hard part about that is that I don't know who I really am. All I really wanted was to have friends and fit in. I was the basic social through out my grade school career up until my junior year of high school. I was finally making friends and I was happy.
When I started college, I met Maxwell. I was taking summer courses at CCM(County College of Morris) at the time. I met him when we were waiting for the bus to Dover. We got to talking, realized that we had a few common interests and started hanging out a lot. There was a point where we lost touch, but we ended up hanging out a lot again.
He's one of the people that I've hurt badly with my violent outbursts, and I feel terrible about it. During TurkeyCon, when he was away from the table, I started telling a story from a former convention experience that I will not mention ever again, but he was upset and I completely lost it. I tried strangling him in the restaurant we were in and I stalked out.
That whole thing has been haunting me since it happened. I wish I could take it back. I wish I could take everything back, but, unfortunately, I can't.
It didn't hit me until later, but when I was lying in my bed, in the dark that night, I cried myself to sleep because I knew then that had done irreversible damage to a very cherished friendship. I hurt not only him, but myself because of how I reacted.
Maxwell, I am truly sorry for everything that I have done and/or said to you. I swear to you now that I will never mention that story again to anyone.