(no subject)
First of all, thank you Aurora for being civil and polite (if there is a such thing as politeness in an argument between friends) instead of cursing at me. I appreciate it.
Agreed, this has gone on for way too long, and I believe the true root of this whole thing has been lost. Let's start at the beginning of this saga: my comment about sociology class. It wasn't meant to be a big deal, to get slung around, or to start an argument. When I said what I said, it wasn't with malice. As far as I remember, it wasn't announced to the entire english class, but rather I was talking with someone who was also in the class who shared the same concerns. I might've said something to Ashley, I don't remember, and then she reported back to you. I'm not naive enough to think that Ashley values my friendship over yours, if I thought it'd be a big deal and I didn't want you guys to find out, I definitely wouldn't have said anything around her. So it's not like I was trying to hide anything from you guys, I just really didn't think it would turn out to be such a big deal, or else I would have kept my concerns to myself. As for the comment its self, it really wasn't meant in entirety for all 4 people mentioned. It was mostly directed toward Jade, who said just about every day how much she hated the class and the teacher, which is all fine and dandy, but it gets old after a while. It was meant for Michelle slightly less-ly, she wasn't as adamant with her rantings and so on. It was meant for Stephanie even less, everyone knows that Stephanie and Mr. Myers don't mix well, it was almost expected of her. And for Aurora, it was meant the least. Like I said, the comment wasn't made with a mean spirit, just a matter of fact.
As for me, yes, I know I'm a bragger. I've been braggy for as long as any of you have known me, so it's nothing new. If it was so bothersome, you could've chosen to not be my friend a long time ago, or told me that it seriously bothered you. I don't even realize I do it, because its just... me. Maybe I'm boastful about whatever I can because I feel... inadequate? around people. Maybe I'm not Miss Teen Illinois pageant material. Maybe I'm never going to get an opportunity to travel around the world and see sweet things with People to People. Maybe I'm not an only child and I get just about everything I've ever dreamed of. I can't sing like a broadway star, I don't have buckets and truckloads of friends and acquaintances from all over, and I don't get to party hardy and let go of my inhibitions and have a gay ol' time (at least not very often). So maybe when I get good grades, or something good happens to me, I boast because I can, to try to feel better about myself. Not to put someone else down, but to try and have something that would equal me to my peers.
And, Aurora, when did I narc on you? I don't remember any tattling. Perhaps this question is better asked in person, so if there comes an appropriate time to do so, I hope you'll talk to me about it. Yes, it was an unfortunate event that you brought upon yourself, and I did feel pity for you at the very least, but, anyways, thats not why any of this is going on.
The next chapter came in the form of a senior survey. Many people had come to me, requesting that senior surveys be added to the yearbook, and I had a preliminary survey made up. Someone told me they were talking with other people and told me they could make one up that would be awesome. I waited and forgot about it, and remembered on the last day that it had to be done now in order for it to get in the yearbook because of our december deadline. Unfortunately, the person that was going to make up a better one did not come to school that last day. I was freaking out and stressing to get it all done. I printed out the original, and then got suggestions from others. We tried to stick to positive categories. I'm soooo sorry, Jade, that you hated some of those categories. As for the teacher's pet add-in, I did over-react. Its a free country, write what you want. I was frazzled and mad that I was working so hard to just get it done so people could have their beloved senior surveys in the yearbook, yet people were being spiteful to me. And Aurora, it's not like it was so big of you to not write me down for teacher's pet... you filled your survey out in Calculus with me, where no one was discussing me as being "teachers pet!!!!!!!!". Anyway, so the next time I went to my journal, where I choose to write down things that go on in my life (such a crime, I know)I did write about my frustration over those surveys... and then came the comments.
They started out just between Michelle and I, which is how it probably should've stayed. I appreciate my friends' efforts to defend me, help me out, whatever, but the real center of the argument had been lost. (Rachel, I do believe you were wrong when you said on your first comment "Now that this is pretty much over..." lol). I tried to just drop it, I only made one comment, but somehow, 2 became 25( ?). I thought maybe if I dropped the subject, things would calm down, but they really didn't. There was an abundance of anonymousness which, though most points were valid, weren't helping the situation between Michelle and me.
To the anonymous person who felt the need to pick apart my physical faults- how petty and pathetic could a person get? This is an argument about sociology and senior surveys, was it really necessary to tell me that i have a large forehead, a snaggle tooth, wear nasty ass pearls, and wear ugly shoes? Who cares if you think I'm ugly? I'm sure if you would have been considerate enough to leave your name, we all could sit here and pick away at all of your little imperfections that make you who you are. I don't think my forehead is all that big, and the shoes I wear are the shoes I like... boo hoo if you think they're ugly. As for the nasty ass pearls, (besides wearing them to LP's homecoming) I think I wore them once to school? But I'm impressed that the one appearance made such an impression, thanks for noticing. Also, I would really like to know which of my teeth is the snaggle tooth. I have one crooked tooth on my bottom row, and I got a peg tooth (which would have been a real snaggle tooth otherwise) bonded a few years ago, and its not the exact shape of its mate on the other side, but I guess you spend lots of time studying me, looking me over, and scrutinizing, if you can pick out something like a misshapen tooth. As for the c word... thats low. What does you calling me a cunt have to do with anything? And in regards to the confrontation I was excitedly awaiting when we came back to school... what happened there? Maybe you lost your balls? So, I guess I could go ahead and call you a fake ass little cunt, for doing the same exact thing. However, I won't resort to dirty name-calling, I'll just call you a hypocrite and let you be on you merry little superficial way. I believe that it wasn't you, Michelle, so who does that leave? But truly, the only person Rachel was really passing judgment on was Michelle. The are only a few other people that could've (or should have the... "right?" to) left/leave that comment, so my list of suspicions isn't very long. I'm just glad whoever it was, was a big enough person to belittle me in every little minuscule way they could think of, make empty threats, and then didn't leave their name. And the comment "So maybe Tomi, you should quit running your fucking mouth or your senior year isn't gunna be a happy one!" Do you honestly think you are all-powerful and can wave your magic wand at me and determine whether or not I'll enjoy my senior year? Honestly...
So, on with the show. Another comment that bothered me was "So now that you have completely demolished your friendships... …what are you left with? Your family and a bunch of teachers who love for you to stroke their egos." Please don't pride yourself so much that you think by being in a fight with the 3 of you, I have no other friends. That doesn't mean I'm not upset that I'm in a fight with you, because I am, but I haven't demolishied all of my friendships, believe it or not. My family isn't too bad either, so even if I had demolished all of my friendships, I love my family, as everyone should, and I know they love me, so it wouldn't be unbearable.
Again, Aurora, thanks for being...nice?... I did avoid you, because it seemed like you were avoiding me. And sorry for mistaking you for my mother... sleep deprivation and millisecond glances are the devil. woah.
All right, so now that I've said my full-length piece, hopefully things will work themselves out. I've wronged you (in one way or another), and you've wronged me back (in one way or another). I'm now gonna start to put this all behind me, wake up tomorrow with an open mind, and put a smile on. Life's too short [as well as the rest of our high school time together] to be holding grudges and anger in our hearts, so I'm letting go. That's all, folks.
Agreed, this has gone on for way too long, and I believe the true root of this whole thing has been lost. Let's start at the beginning of this saga: my comment about sociology class. It wasn't meant to be a big deal, to get slung around, or to start an argument. When I said what I said, it wasn't with malice. As far as I remember, it wasn't announced to the entire english class, but rather I was talking with someone who was also in the class who shared the same concerns. I might've said something to Ashley, I don't remember, and then she reported back to you. I'm not naive enough to think that Ashley values my friendship over yours, if I thought it'd be a big deal and I didn't want you guys to find out, I definitely wouldn't have said anything around her. So it's not like I was trying to hide anything from you guys, I just really didn't think it would turn out to be such a big deal, or else I would have kept my concerns to myself. As for the comment its self, it really wasn't meant in entirety for all 4 people mentioned. It was mostly directed toward Jade, who said just about every day how much she hated the class and the teacher, which is all fine and dandy, but it gets old after a while. It was meant for Michelle slightly less-ly, she wasn't as adamant with her rantings and so on. It was meant for Stephanie even less, everyone knows that Stephanie and Mr. Myers don't mix well, it was almost expected of her. And for Aurora, it was meant the least. Like I said, the comment wasn't made with a mean spirit, just a matter of fact.
As for me, yes, I know I'm a bragger. I've been braggy for as long as any of you have known me, so it's nothing new. If it was so bothersome, you could've chosen to not be my friend a long time ago, or told me that it seriously bothered you. I don't even realize I do it, because its just... me. Maybe I'm boastful about whatever I can because I feel... inadequate? around people. Maybe I'm not Miss Teen Illinois pageant material. Maybe I'm never going to get an opportunity to travel around the world and see sweet things with People to People. Maybe I'm not an only child and I get just about everything I've ever dreamed of. I can't sing like a broadway star, I don't have buckets and truckloads of friends and acquaintances from all over, and I don't get to party hardy and let go of my inhibitions and have a gay ol' time (at least not very often). So maybe when I get good grades, or something good happens to me, I boast because I can, to try to feel better about myself. Not to put someone else down, but to try and have something that would equal me to my peers.
And, Aurora, when did I narc on you? I don't remember any tattling. Perhaps this question is better asked in person, so if there comes an appropriate time to do so, I hope you'll talk to me about it. Yes, it was an unfortunate event that you brought upon yourself, and I did feel pity for you at the very least, but, anyways, thats not why any of this is going on.
The next chapter came in the form of a senior survey. Many people had come to me, requesting that senior surveys be added to the yearbook, and I had a preliminary survey made up. Someone told me they were talking with other people and told me they could make one up that would be awesome. I waited and forgot about it, and remembered on the last day that it had to be done now in order for it to get in the yearbook because of our december deadline. Unfortunately, the person that was going to make up a better one did not come to school that last day. I was freaking out and stressing to get it all done. I printed out the original, and then got suggestions from others. We tried to stick to positive categories. I'm soooo sorry, Jade, that you hated some of those categories. As for the teacher's pet add-in, I did over-react. Its a free country, write what you want. I was frazzled and mad that I was working so hard to just get it done so people could have their beloved senior surveys in the yearbook, yet people were being spiteful to me. And Aurora, it's not like it was so big of you to not write me down for teacher's pet... you filled your survey out in Calculus with me, where no one was discussing me as being "teachers pet!!!!!!!!". Anyway, so the next time I went to my journal, where I choose to write down things that go on in my life (such a crime, I know)I did write about my frustration over those surveys... and then came the comments.
They started out just between Michelle and I, which is how it probably should've stayed. I appreciate my friends' efforts to defend me, help me out, whatever, but the real center of the argument had been lost. (Rachel, I do believe you were wrong when you said on your first comment "Now that this is pretty much over..." lol). I tried to just drop it, I only made one comment, but somehow, 2 became 25( ?). I thought maybe if I dropped the subject, things would calm down, but they really didn't. There was an abundance of anonymousness which, though most points were valid, weren't helping the situation between Michelle and me.
To the anonymous person who felt the need to pick apart my physical faults- how petty and pathetic could a person get? This is an argument about sociology and senior surveys, was it really necessary to tell me that i have a large forehead, a snaggle tooth, wear nasty ass pearls, and wear ugly shoes? Who cares if you think I'm ugly? I'm sure if you would have been considerate enough to leave your name, we all could sit here and pick away at all of your little imperfections that make you who you are. I don't think my forehead is all that big, and the shoes I wear are the shoes I like... boo hoo if you think they're ugly. As for the nasty ass pearls, (besides wearing them to LP's homecoming) I think I wore them once to school? But I'm impressed that the one appearance made such an impression, thanks for noticing. Also, I would really like to know which of my teeth is the snaggle tooth. I have one crooked tooth on my bottom row, and I got a peg tooth (which would have been a real snaggle tooth otherwise) bonded a few years ago, and its not the exact shape of its mate on the other side, but I guess you spend lots of time studying me, looking me over, and scrutinizing, if you can pick out something like a misshapen tooth. As for the c word... thats low. What does you calling me a cunt have to do with anything? And in regards to the confrontation I was excitedly awaiting when we came back to school... what happened there? Maybe you lost your balls? So, I guess I could go ahead and call you a fake ass little cunt, for doing the same exact thing. However, I won't resort to dirty name-calling, I'll just call you a hypocrite and let you be on you merry little superficial way. I believe that it wasn't you, Michelle, so who does that leave? But truly, the only person Rachel was really passing judgment on was Michelle. The are only a few other people that could've (or should have the... "right?" to) left/leave that comment, so my list of suspicions isn't very long. I'm just glad whoever it was, was a big enough person to belittle me in every little minuscule way they could think of, make empty threats, and then didn't leave their name. And the comment "So maybe Tomi, you should quit running your fucking mouth or your senior year isn't gunna be a happy one!" Do you honestly think you are all-powerful and can wave your magic wand at me and determine whether or not I'll enjoy my senior year? Honestly...
So, on with the show. Another comment that bothered me was "So now that you have completely demolished your friendships... …what are you left with? Your family and a bunch of teachers who love for you to stroke their egos." Please don't pride yourself so much that you think by being in a fight with the 3 of you, I have no other friends. That doesn't mean I'm not upset that I'm in a fight with you, because I am, but I haven't demolishied all of my friendships, believe it or not. My family isn't too bad either, so even if I had demolished all of my friendships, I love my family, as everyone should, and I know they love me, so it wouldn't be unbearable.
Again, Aurora, thanks for being...nice?... I did avoid you, because it seemed like you were avoiding me. And sorry for mistaking you for my mother... sleep deprivation and millisecond glances are the devil. woah.
All right, so now that I've said my full-length piece, hopefully things will work themselves out. I've wronged you (in one way or another), and you've wronged me back (in one way or another). I'm now gonna start to put this all behind me, wake up tomorrow with an open mind, and put a smile on. Life's too short [as well as the rest of our high school time together] to be holding grudges and anger in our hearts, so I'm letting go. That's all, folks.