set phasers to stun
blah diggey blah blah blah blahhhhhhh
thats right. i said it.
I ate pancakes today :-) it was a good time.
I've come to the realization that me and kev are complete opposites. in some ways more than others, but the most frequent reminder of this:
kevin can't seem to just let things be sometimes... he tried to pick up the whole tree at my house and put it away... i'll have none of that... i get paid to do it and kevin was just doing it because... well i dont know completely why... but i know he's a great kid, he's a perfectionist (maybe?), he's super helpful, and likes cleaning things up, and he got to play with the lawn mower and the tractor.. but I don't need him to do my work for me. no sir. on the way to michelle's the other night, he started cleaning and organizing my car. I know im messy, but it works for me, thats just how i am. i wont be suprised if he starts doing my laundry so he can make a path through my room. I guess that's just his thing... but like i've been saying.. it would kill him to live with me.
I took a nap. it was hot. literally. especially because i was laying on a little couch with my beau. It was quite the lazy sunday compared to last week. Kevin & i played bingo... and we sat and listened to grandma talk with al and charlie and us for about 2 hours. I now understand where kevin learned how to ramble on and on in his stories... oh buddy. grandma sure likes to talk. she likes railroads, getting out of speeding tickets, and is proud to be italian. it kinda makes me wish i was italian.
I'm probably not going with amber to the dells next weekend anymore. I was only going in dailynn's place because she didnt want to go. but i bet she will. which is fine. hooray for family togetherness.
It feels like i'm leaving for college this fall instead of next. (or atleast i wish) Mom is putting the pressure on for me to set up visit days for these last few weeks of summer, and to fill out atleast 5 applications to colleges (i can only think of 3 that i would voluntarily go to) and research all these scholarships and stuff... it makes me cringe that i'll be living under this roof for another whole year and be back at PCHS for another 9 months. I keep thinking of the things i'll do when i'm "out." i.e.- mom wont let me get my navel pierced until i move out.. which means i'm going to get it as soon as i turn 18 ( only 8.67 months away) and just hide it until i'm at college... and follow that with a tongue ring and a tasteful tattoo and hair color.. i'll be set. but not only that... i want to just.. get out... you know? depend on myself a little more. I've never felt more dependant on others than i do now. that needs to change. And for the first time in my life i have no clue as to what i want to be. There's always been the doctor/nurse thing..and i thought my queasy weak stomach would be safe in dermatology... oh no. i wasnt even at dr. coynik's for 15 mintues before i had to excuse myself from the room (the blood just wouldnt stop spilling from the gaping wound on his face.. i couldn't take it anymore) i dont know what to do with my life now. i just dont think the doctor/nurse thing is gonna pan out. especially if i plan on being a soccer mom someday (woah woah waaay in the future) but still.. if im a doctor I'll be the person they only see a few times a week, that sends them to big fancy schools and takes them on exotic vacations. whew, enough about all that.
i just... need a change.
but don't we all?
thats right. i said it.
I ate pancakes today :-) it was a good time.
I've come to the realization that me and kev are complete opposites. in some ways more than others, but the most frequent reminder of this:
kevin can't seem to just let things be sometimes... he tried to pick up the whole tree at my house and put it away... i'll have none of that... i get paid to do it and kevin was just doing it because... well i dont know completely why... but i know he's a great kid, he's a perfectionist (maybe?), he's super helpful, and likes cleaning things up, and he got to play with the lawn mower and the tractor.. but I don't need him to do my work for me. no sir. on the way to michelle's the other night, he started cleaning and organizing my car. I know im messy, but it works for me, thats just how i am. i wont be suprised if he starts doing my laundry so he can make a path through my room. I guess that's just his thing... but like i've been saying.. it would kill him to live with me.
I took a nap. it was hot. literally. especially because i was laying on a little couch with my beau. It was quite the lazy sunday compared to last week. Kevin & i played bingo... and we sat and listened to grandma talk with al and charlie and us for about 2 hours. I now understand where kevin learned how to ramble on and on in his stories... oh buddy. grandma sure likes to talk. she likes railroads, getting out of speeding tickets, and is proud to be italian. it kinda makes me wish i was italian.
I'm probably not going with amber to the dells next weekend anymore. I was only going in dailynn's place because she didnt want to go. but i bet she will. which is fine. hooray for family togetherness.
It feels like i'm leaving for college this fall instead of next. (or atleast i wish) Mom is putting the pressure on for me to set up visit days for these last few weeks of summer, and to fill out atleast 5 applications to colleges (i can only think of 3 that i would voluntarily go to) and research all these scholarships and stuff... it makes me cringe that i'll be living under this roof for another whole year and be back at PCHS for another 9 months. I keep thinking of the things i'll do when i'm "out." i.e.- mom wont let me get my navel pierced until i move out.. which means i'm going to get it as soon as i turn 18 ( only 8.67 months away) and just hide it until i'm at college... and follow that with a tongue ring and a tasteful tattoo and hair color.. i'll be set. but not only that... i want to just.. get out... you know? depend on myself a little more. I've never felt more dependant on others than i do now. that needs to change. And for the first time in my life i have no clue as to what i want to be. There's always been the doctor/nurse thing..and i thought my queasy weak stomach would be safe in dermatology... oh no. i wasnt even at dr. coynik's for 15 mintues before i had to excuse myself from the room (the blood just wouldnt stop spilling from the gaping wound on his face.. i couldn't take it anymore) i dont know what to do with my life now. i just dont think the doctor/nurse thing is gonna pan out. especially if i plan on being a soccer mom someday (woah woah waaay in the future) but still.. if im a doctor I'll be the person they only see a few times a week, that sends them to big fancy schools and takes them on exotic vacations. whew, enough about all that.
i just... need a change.
but don't we all?