Fic: That's Friendship. Bernard/Kon, Bart/Tim. PG-13.
Title: That's Friendship
Fandom: Teen Titans
Claim: Supporting Characters, Bart/Tim.
Characters: Bernard/Kon, Bart/Tim, Nina Dowd.
Prompt: fanfic100: 78. Where? dcu_freeforall: 2. Flight.
Word Count: 2780
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Bernard and Kon meet at Tim's birthday. Tim does not approve.
Author's Notes: Thanks to julius12 for the beta! This is from the Random-Verse Slash Pairing Generator (Which just gave me Jimmy Olsen/Jim Gordon, by the way). It didn't turn out cracky. Because once I started thinking about it, it made sense. Also, written for Use Kon in a New and Interesting Pairing Month!
"Drake, why don't I know any of your friends?" Bernard said.
"Sure you do," Tim said. "You know Darla."
"She's not here!" Bernard said.
"She couldn't come," Tim said.
"You have the lamest birthday party ever. Is your girlfriend here?"
"Steph? We broke up. And she couldn't make it either."
"Is this your way of saying you're coming out of the closet and letting your imaginary girlfriend go?"
Tim rolled his eyes. "Steph existed." He caught sight of someone and smiled brightly. Bernard tried to see who he was looking at. "I have to - "
"Don't leave me!" Bernard said. "I don't know anyone!"
"Fine, fine," Tim said. He tapped a boy who was standing near to them on the shoulder. "Hey, Conner?" he said.
"Huh?" Conner said. "Oh, hi, Tim. Happy Birthday!"
"Thanks," Tim said. "Look, Conner Kent, Bernard Dowd, Bernard, Conner. Don't call him Bernie, don't call him, um, Smallville. Everyone acquainted? Lovely, see you later!" He vanished astonishingly quickly. Bernard had long suspected Tim held some sort of deep and interesting secret. Maybe he was Kid Flash.
Conner, Tim's friend, smiled awkwardly at him.
"So, do you have any idea where he was off to so fast?" Bernard said.
"Probably saw Bart," Conner said.
"Bart?" Bernard said blankly.
"You know, his boyfriend?"
Bernard stared at him. "Tim has a boyfriend?"
"You didn't know?"
"But he always denied that he was gay!"
"Well, I didn't find out until this week, and the two of them are my best friends," Conner said crossly.
"Do you know Steph Brown?"
Conner looked blank. "Who?"
"Drake's supposed ex-girlfriend," Bernard said. "None of his friends at school believe she actually exists because no one's met her."
"Oh, her," Conner said. "I do know her. Not very well, though."
Bernard shook his head. "Strange boy, that Timmy. I maintain that there's more to him than meets the eye."
"Probably," Conner said evenly. "I mean, or maybe he just likes pretending to be mysterious. Or something."
"No, it isn't like that," Bernard said. "He isn't the type to wear dark colors and sulk in hopes that someone will try to find out what they're hiding. But everything he does is so calculated, you know?"
"I've never noticed," Conner said. "Hey, look! Cake!"
"Food when you can gossip?" Bernard said. "I don't think we have much in common at all, Kent."
Conner shrugged. "You coming?"
"Sure," Bernard said. "After all, who am I to turn down cake?"
"Especially not this cake," Conner said. "Uh, Wayne Catering made it."
"I didn't even know there was a Wayne Catering," Bernard said. "So, why did Drake tell me not to call you Smallville?"
"Because he's a jerk," Conner said. "I live in Smallville, Kansas and I hate it."
"You're from Kansas? How'd you get all the way out here?"
"I flew," Conner said. "In a plane."
"Obviously," Bernard said. "I mean, just for Drake's birthday?"
"If you lived in Smallville, wouldn't you take any chance you could get to get out for a little bit?"
"You do have a point there," Bernard said. "So. Not a Smallville sort of guy? Are you more into Metropolis? Superman and all that?"
"Heh," Conner smirked. "Yeah, maybe someday. But I'd really like to go back to where I used to live. Hawaii."
"You went from Hawaii to Smallville? That must have been rotten, Kent."
"Could you - do you have to call me Kent?"
Bernard gave a short, startled laugh. "What would you prefer me to call you? Conner?"
"How about Kon?"
"Kon? I can do that." Bernard smiled.
"You have such cool friends!" Kon said.
"Hmm?" Tim glanced up at him. "Modest, much?"
"No, I meant that Bernard guy."
"Oh," Tim said. "Sorry about shunting him off on you and everything, but I saw Bart - "
"Yeah, yeah, boyfriend, birthday, I get it. So can I have Bernard's number?"
Tim whirled around to stare at him. "What?"
"Bernard's number. I want to call him."
"Kon," Tim said. "You do realize that he doesn't know I'm Robin?"
"Yeah, I sort of got that. What's your point?"
"I can't let Robin and Tim Drake mix!"
"...you do realize that those are both you, right? The same person?"
"Yes, I realize that!" Tim snapped. "Look, it would...complicate things."
"How?" Kon asked. "He's a cool guy!"
"And you both know different halves of me."
"We wouldn't be talking about you!" Kon said.
"Kon, I said no, and that's it."
Kon scowled. "Fine."
"So Tim really said that you could borrow his address book if I ran in and got it for you?"
"Yes," Kon said. "Do it quickly. So the surveillance cameras don't catch you."
Bart scowled at him. "Look, that might have worked on Impulse, but I'm smarter now."
"...I'll bake you cookies?"
Bart bit his lip, looking torn. "Chocolate chip ones?"
"Anything you want."
"Cool!" Bart grinned and vanished. He appeared a moment later with the address book.
"Thanks, Bart, you're a life saver." He flipped to the D's. There were no addresses, but there was a note.
Nice try, Kon. Did you really think my address book would be this poorly guarded? Also, bribing Bart with cookies? That's just low. - R
Kon stared at the note. "Okay, I've always known Tim is a freaky little Bat, but this is just weird."
"Hey, Drake, what ever happened to that sexy farm boy you found me?" Bernard asked.
"Conner's straight, Bernard," Tim said.
"Uh huh, and so are you," Bernard rolled his eyes.
"I already told you I was sorry for not telling you I was dating a guy!"
"I know, I'm just giving you a hard time for it," Bernard said. "Anyway, I like Kon. Even if he's straight. Did you know he used to have a pierced ear?"
"I remember that, actually," Tim said dryly. "Look, he's...complicated."
"Complicated? How complicated can he be?"
"You have no idea."
"Look, I don't really care. Do you have his phone number?"
"I don't have it memorized," Tim said. "I'll get it for you if I remember."
"You're an absolute peach, Timmy."
"Whatever, Bernard."
Kon was getting increasingly frustrated. Tim either had far too much time on his hands or really did consider Kon hanging out with Bernard a threat to the general welfare of the world. It was stupid, and now it wasn't only about trying to get in contact with Bernard. He couldn't let Tim win, dammit. He couldn't -
Dowd.
He knew he'd heard it before!
Kon grinned and googled 'Nina Dowd'. He found a webpage from some archaeological organization, and there was an actual phone number!
He wrote it down quickly before Tim could destroy the webpage.
"You know, it's fascinating," Bernard said.
"What is?" Tim asked. He paused. "Do I want to know?"
"Of course you do. It's your friend, Kon."
"Conner? Oh, come on."
"Well, have you ever googled him?"
"No."
"It's strange," Bernard leaned forward. "There's nothing. I mean, a few pings from the past few months, but it's almost as if Conner Kent only recently came into existence."
"He's from Smallville," Tim said. "I think they only recently learned the internet existed."
"Funny. Hadn't you said you'd get his number for me?"
"Yeah, I guess I forgot."
The phone picked up after three rings. "Hello, this is Dr. Nina Dowd?"
"Uh, Dr. Dowd? Hi, I'm, uh, I'm a friend of Bernard's?" Kon said.
"Oh, is this Tim?" Nina asked.
"No, it's Kon."
"Who?"
"We met through Tim. Look, is Bernard there?"
"At my office?"
"Uh, right. I guess not. Could I have his cell number by any chance? I really need to get in contact with him."
"Sure," Nina said.
"Look, I tried the number you gave me and it didn't work," Bernard said.
"Well, I gave you the number I have," Tim said. "I don't know what to tell you."
Bernard's phone rang. "Just a moment," he said. "Hello?"
"Bernard?" Kon said. "Hi."
"Kon!" Bernard glanced at Tim and smirked. "I've been trying to get in touch with you!"
"Look, are you going to be free in like, two weeks? Because I've, uh, got a family thing in Gotham. We could hang out."
"I'd like that," Bernard said.
"Okay, cool. See you then?"
"Sure."
"Uh, bye," Kon said.
"Later," Bernard said. He hung up.
Tim's face was impassive. "Guess that worked out, then," he said.
"Oh, yes. Guess I didn't need you to give me a number after all!"
"I guess not," Tim said.
"I told you not to contact Bernard!" Tim shouted.
"Look, I don't have that many friends!" Kon said. "When I find someone cool, I don't just lose touch with them!"
"You've got plenty of friends! Me, Bart, lots of people!"
"You and Bart are always...I feel like a third wheel around you! And it's not...look, I'm happy that you guys are together, but when it's the three of us, you aren't exactly thinking about me!"
"We don't ignore you!"
"No, but you want to."
"Kon," Tim said. "You're our friend."
Kon rubbed his head tiredly. "No, I know. But in Smallville? No friends. I'm actually kind of a loser there. Bernard's a normal. I like him. I swear I won't tell him you're Robin."
"I know you wouldn't. It's just...complicated."
"What in life isn't?"
"Conner Ludvig Kent!" Bernard said, throwing open his arms and grinning.
"Hey," Kon said.
"Glad you could make it all the way out to Gotham," Bernard said.
"Yeah, well, it's a long flight, but hey, it's worth it."
"I'm worth it, you mean." Bernard smirked.
"Right," Kon looked around. "So. Gotham. What do people do around here?"
Bernard shrugged. "I generally sit around Tweedle Dee's and make obnoxious remarks about anyone who isn't me."
"Man, you've got an interesting life."
"Sarcasm is the lowest form of humor, you know."
"Actually, that's puns."
"Whatever. We could also see a movie."
Kon grinned. "Movie's good. What's playing?"
"I can't look," Bernard said, burying his face in Kon's shoulder. "Tell me when it's over."
Kon rolled his eyes. "I told you Comedic Comedy would be bad."
"I thought it'd be funny!"
"Exploding Explosions was great. Everything they've made since then? Awful."
Bernard heard a splat. "Did he slip in the pie? They always slip in the pie."
"He slipped in the pie," Kon shifted, and put his arm over Bernard's shoulder.
"These movies are only fun if you have someone to make out with," Bernard said.
"I know," Kon said.
Neither of them said anything for a moment. Then Bernard raised his head. His eyes met Kon's, and they started kissing.
"Tim will murder me," Kon moaned. "He knows how to get kryptonite, and Batman trained him. Batman." He let himself collapse on Bart's bed.
"Don't worry, they don't kill," Bart said. "He'll probably just maim you or something."
"You are not at all comforting, Allen."
Bart grinned. "So what happened?"
"You know Bernard?"
"Tim's friend? Sure."
"I kissed him."
Bart laughed.
"It's not funny!" Kon sat up and glared at Bart. "Tim didn't want me to even stay in contact with Bernard, and now we're in a relationship, of all things!"
"I thought you were straight," Bart said.
"Apparently not. Anyway, I think it's mostly just Bernard. You and Tim? No offense, just no."
"Aww, but Tim and I wanted you to join us in a threesome!"
Kon chucked a pillow at Bart, who vibrated through it.
"So do I tell Tim?"
"Of course you tell Tim."
"Even though he'll kill me?"
"I'll go with you. If he kills you, I'll break up with him. Okay?"
"Comforting," Kon said.
"You're dating Bernard."
Bart wrapped his arms around Tim's neck. "Don't kill him," he murmured.
"I'm not going to kill him. Probably."
"We like him, remember?" Bart said.
Tim leaned his head back onto Bart. "We mostly like him. When he isn't mixing my two lives up."
"Look, I won't tell him you're Robin," Kon said. "We don't even have to hang out together with him."
"What? No double dates?" Bart said. "Tiiiim."
"Shush, Bart," Tim said. "Kon - "
"Dude, I'm not going to mix your lives or whatever. Swear."
"And you're not going to tell him who you are?"
Kon hesitated.
"Kon! You can't tell him. He might wonder why I know Superboy, and then he could figure out - "
"I know! I thought of that! I mean, I can figure something - "
"Kon - "
"Seriously, don't make me fight with you about this," Kon said.
"C'mon, Tim! Don't make him fight with you about it," Bart said.
"Quit it, Bart. Kon, this is a terrible idea."
"It's not! I like him, he likes me, look, what's the problem?"
"He's my friend!"
"Bart's my friend!"
"Oh, is that what this is about? You're annoyed that I'm dating Bart!"
"I'm annoyed that you didn't tell me, but no, that's not what this is about."
"Bart and I are completely different from Bernard and you."
"Why, because it's so important to keep your two precious lives separate? Maybe you shouldn't have invited us to your stupid party!"
"Maybe you're right! My bad for expecting my friends to be understanding!"
"Guys!" Bart yelled. He was twitching anxiously so that he was little more than a blur standing in place.
"What?" Tim and Kon snapped.
"Can you stop yelling at each other? Please?"
"I - " Kon glanced from Bart to Tim and back. "Sorry. Yeah, I'll stop."
"Sorry, Bart," Tim muttered.
"Look," Bart took a breath and came into focus. "Tim, you're being a little unreasonable. Why can't they have a chance to try and go out? It's very rare that High School couples even make it for long." He looked at Kon. "And you probably shouldn't tell him who you really are. I mean, maybe someday, sure, but definitely not yet."
"Wow," Kon said. "When did Bart become the voice of reason?"
Bart beamed. "There were a lot of psychology books in the San Francisco library. And dating advice books. And self-help books."
"Thanks," Tim said. He gave Bart a soft look before turning sharply to Kon. "I still don't approve of this relationship," he said.
"Fine, dude. But I'm not gonna just break up with him. I like Bernard."
"Fine," Tim said. "But if he figures out who I am directly or indirectly because of something you do, I will tell Batman it's your fault."
"I'd never tell him," Kon said. "You know that."
Tim stared at him levelly. "Yeah, I know," he said.
Bernard opened the door to see Kon about to ring the bell.
"Kon, darling!" he said, grinning. "Come in! My mother's not home!"
Kon smirked and stepped inside, kissing Bernard the minute the door closed.
"I...didn't realize," Bernard gasped as Kon moved past his lips and started kissing his jaw and neck, "that...oh...Kent, let's get up to the bedroom?"
"Right, right," Kon said. He stopped kissing Bernard and instead looped an arm around his waist.
"Better," Bernard said. "Thought you were supposed to be in Smallville."
"Oh, uh, another family thing. Should have called, sorry."
"Perfectly alright," Bernard said. "This one's my room."
Kon tackled Bernard as soon as the door was closed. Bernard's nose knocked into Kon's glasses, and they fell off, and Bernard closed his eyes, losing himself in the feeling of Kon's lips, Kon's hand, Kon's knee in just the right...
Wait a minute.
"St- stop - oh - just a moment," Bernard gasped, pushing at Kon's shoulder.
Kon sat up reluctantly. "What is it?" he asked, and his eyes without the glasses were big and blue and -
"Hold on, I have it, it's right - " Bernard opened his closet and pulled out an old poster. "Aha!"
"What's that?"
Bernard unrolled it. It was one of those old Superboy posters, leather jacket, earring...
And Kon's face.
"Crap," Kon said, becoming suddenly pale.
"You're Superboy, aren't you," Bernard said. "You're freaking Superboy!"
"I - uh, yeah."
"I'm dating Superboy?"
"Yeah. That's a good thing, right?"
"Are you kidding?" Bernard laughed. "I had the hugest crush on you when I was twelve!"
"Had?"
"Oh, now I've got this boy I like a lot better. He's rather tall, dark and handsome, answers to the name of Kon?"
"Like the boy more than the super?"
"The super could definitely be a bonus. Can you fly while we kiss?"
"Yep." Kon grinned. "I could get you into the Mile High Club, easy."
"Hmm, I'll have to take you up on that," Bernard said, tossing the poster aside.
Kon yanked off his shirt and scooped Bernard into his arms. Tim would be annoyed, but he could worry about that later. Right now, he had a hot blond and tactile telekinesis. Life was pretty great.
Fandom: Teen Titans
Claim: Supporting Characters, Bart/Tim.
Characters: Bernard/Kon, Bart/Tim, Nina Dowd.
Prompt: fanfic100: 78. Where? dcu_freeforall: 2. Flight.
Word Count: 2780
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Bernard and Kon meet at Tim's birthday. Tim does not approve.
Author's Notes: Thanks to julius12 for the beta! This is from the Random-Verse Slash Pairing Generator (Which just gave me Jimmy Olsen/Jim Gordon, by the way). It didn't turn out cracky. Because once I started thinking about it, it made sense. Also, written for Use Kon in a New and Interesting Pairing Month!
"Drake, why don't I know any of your friends?" Bernard said.
"Sure you do," Tim said. "You know Darla."
"She's not here!" Bernard said.
"She couldn't come," Tim said.
"You have the lamest birthday party ever. Is your girlfriend here?"
"Steph? We broke up. And she couldn't make it either."
"Is this your way of saying you're coming out of the closet and letting your imaginary girlfriend go?"
Tim rolled his eyes. "Steph existed." He caught sight of someone and smiled brightly. Bernard tried to see who he was looking at. "I have to - "
"Don't leave me!" Bernard said. "I don't know anyone!"
"Fine, fine," Tim said. He tapped a boy who was standing near to them on the shoulder. "Hey, Conner?" he said.
"Huh?" Conner said. "Oh, hi, Tim. Happy Birthday!"
"Thanks," Tim said. "Look, Conner Kent, Bernard Dowd, Bernard, Conner. Don't call him Bernie, don't call him, um, Smallville. Everyone acquainted? Lovely, see you later!" He vanished astonishingly quickly. Bernard had long suspected Tim held some sort of deep and interesting secret. Maybe he was Kid Flash.
Conner, Tim's friend, smiled awkwardly at him.
"So, do you have any idea where he was off to so fast?" Bernard said.
"Probably saw Bart," Conner said.
"Bart?" Bernard said blankly.
"You know, his boyfriend?"
Bernard stared at him. "Tim has a boyfriend?"
"You didn't know?"
"But he always denied that he was gay!"
"Well, I didn't find out until this week, and the two of them are my best friends," Conner said crossly.
"Do you know Steph Brown?"
Conner looked blank. "Who?"
"Drake's supposed ex-girlfriend," Bernard said. "None of his friends at school believe she actually exists because no one's met her."
"Oh, her," Conner said. "I do know her. Not very well, though."
Bernard shook his head. "Strange boy, that Timmy. I maintain that there's more to him than meets the eye."
"Probably," Conner said evenly. "I mean, or maybe he just likes pretending to be mysterious. Or something."
"No, it isn't like that," Bernard said. "He isn't the type to wear dark colors and sulk in hopes that someone will try to find out what they're hiding. But everything he does is so calculated, you know?"
"I've never noticed," Conner said. "Hey, look! Cake!"
"Food when you can gossip?" Bernard said. "I don't think we have much in common at all, Kent."
Conner shrugged. "You coming?"
"Sure," Bernard said. "After all, who am I to turn down cake?"
"Especially not this cake," Conner said. "Uh, Wayne Catering made it."
"I didn't even know there was a Wayne Catering," Bernard said. "So, why did Drake tell me not to call you Smallville?"
"Because he's a jerk," Conner said. "I live in Smallville, Kansas and I hate it."
"You're from Kansas? How'd you get all the way out here?"
"I flew," Conner said. "In a plane."
"Obviously," Bernard said. "I mean, just for Drake's birthday?"
"If you lived in Smallville, wouldn't you take any chance you could get to get out for a little bit?"
"You do have a point there," Bernard said. "So. Not a Smallville sort of guy? Are you more into Metropolis? Superman and all that?"
"Heh," Conner smirked. "Yeah, maybe someday. But I'd really like to go back to where I used to live. Hawaii."
"You went from Hawaii to Smallville? That must have been rotten, Kent."
"Could you - do you have to call me Kent?"
Bernard gave a short, startled laugh. "What would you prefer me to call you? Conner?"
"How about Kon?"
"Kon? I can do that." Bernard smiled.
"You have such cool friends!" Kon said.
"Hmm?" Tim glanced up at him. "Modest, much?"
"No, I meant that Bernard guy."
"Oh," Tim said. "Sorry about shunting him off on you and everything, but I saw Bart - "
"Yeah, yeah, boyfriend, birthday, I get it. So can I have Bernard's number?"
Tim whirled around to stare at him. "What?"
"Bernard's number. I want to call him."
"Kon," Tim said. "You do realize that he doesn't know I'm Robin?"
"Yeah, I sort of got that. What's your point?"
"I can't let Robin and Tim Drake mix!"
"...you do realize that those are both you, right? The same person?"
"Yes, I realize that!" Tim snapped. "Look, it would...complicate things."
"How?" Kon asked. "He's a cool guy!"
"And you both know different halves of me."
"We wouldn't be talking about you!" Kon said.
"Kon, I said no, and that's it."
Kon scowled. "Fine."
"So Tim really said that you could borrow his address book if I ran in and got it for you?"
"Yes," Kon said. "Do it quickly. So the surveillance cameras don't catch you."
Bart scowled at him. "Look, that might have worked on Impulse, but I'm smarter now."
"...I'll bake you cookies?"
Bart bit his lip, looking torn. "Chocolate chip ones?"
"Anything you want."
"Cool!" Bart grinned and vanished. He appeared a moment later with the address book.
"Thanks, Bart, you're a life saver." He flipped to the D's. There were no addresses, but there was a note.
Nice try, Kon. Did you really think my address book would be this poorly guarded? Also, bribing Bart with cookies? That's just low. - R
Kon stared at the note. "Okay, I've always known Tim is a freaky little Bat, but this is just weird."
"Hey, Drake, what ever happened to that sexy farm boy you found me?" Bernard asked.
"Conner's straight, Bernard," Tim said.
"Uh huh, and so are you," Bernard rolled his eyes.
"I already told you I was sorry for not telling you I was dating a guy!"
"I know, I'm just giving you a hard time for it," Bernard said. "Anyway, I like Kon. Even if he's straight. Did you know he used to have a pierced ear?"
"I remember that, actually," Tim said dryly. "Look, he's...complicated."
"Complicated? How complicated can he be?"
"You have no idea."
"Look, I don't really care. Do you have his phone number?"
"I don't have it memorized," Tim said. "I'll get it for you if I remember."
"You're an absolute peach, Timmy."
"Whatever, Bernard."
Kon was getting increasingly frustrated. Tim either had far too much time on his hands or really did consider Kon hanging out with Bernard a threat to the general welfare of the world. It was stupid, and now it wasn't only about trying to get in contact with Bernard. He couldn't let Tim win, dammit. He couldn't -
Dowd.
He knew he'd heard it before!
Kon grinned and googled 'Nina Dowd'. He found a webpage from some archaeological organization, and there was an actual phone number!
He wrote it down quickly before Tim could destroy the webpage.
"You know, it's fascinating," Bernard said.
"What is?" Tim asked. He paused. "Do I want to know?"
"Of course you do. It's your friend, Kon."
"Conner? Oh, come on."
"Well, have you ever googled him?"
"No."
"It's strange," Bernard leaned forward. "There's nothing. I mean, a few pings from the past few months, but it's almost as if Conner Kent only recently came into existence."
"He's from Smallville," Tim said. "I think they only recently learned the internet existed."
"Funny. Hadn't you said you'd get his number for me?"
"Yeah, I guess I forgot."
The phone picked up after three rings. "Hello, this is Dr. Nina Dowd?"
"Uh, Dr. Dowd? Hi, I'm, uh, I'm a friend of Bernard's?" Kon said.
"Oh, is this Tim?" Nina asked.
"No, it's Kon."
"Who?"
"We met through Tim. Look, is Bernard there?"
"At my office?"
"Uh, right. I guess not. Could I have his cell number by any chance? I really need to get in contact with him."
"Sure," Nina said.
"Look, I tried the number you gave me and it didn't work," Bernard said.
"Well, I gave you the number I have," Tim said. "I don't know what to tell you."
Bernard's phone rang. "Just a moment," he said. "Hello?"
"Bernard?" Kon said. "Hi."
"Kon!" Bernard glanced at Tim and smirked. "I've been trying to get in touch with you!"
"Look, are you going to be free in like, two weeks? Because I've, uh, got a family thing in Gotham. We could hang out."
"I'd like that," Bernard said.
"Okay, cool. See you then?"
"Sure."
"Uh, bye," Kon said.
"Later," Bernard said. He hung up.
Tim's face was impassive. "Guess that worked out, then," he said.
"Oh, yes. Guess I didn't need you to give me a number after all!"
"I guess not," Tim said.
"I told you not to contact Bernard!" Tim shouted.
"Look, I don't have that many friends!" Kon said. "When I find someone cool, I don't just lose touch with them!"
"You've got plenty of friends! Me, Bart, lots of people!"
"You and Bart are always...I feel like a third wheel around you! And it's not...look, I'm happy that you guys are together, but when it's the three of us, you aren't exactly thinking about me!"
"We don't ignore you!"
"No, but you want to."
"Kon," Tim said. "You're our friend."
Kon rubbed his head tiredly. "No, I know. But in Smallville? No friends. I'm actually kind of a loser there. Bernard's a normal. I like him. I swear I won't tell him you're Robin."
"I know you wouldn't. It's just...complicated."
"What in life isn't?"
"Conner Ludvig Kent!" Bernard said, throwing open his arms and grinning.
"Hey," Kon said.
"Glad you could make it all the way out to Gotham," Bernard said.
"Yeah, well, it's a long flight, but hey, it's worth it."
"I'm worth it, you mean." Bernard smirked.
"Right," Kon looked around. "So. Gotham. What do people do around here?"
Bernard shrugged. "I generally sit around Tweedle Dee's and make obnoxious remarks about anyone who isn't me."
"Man, you've got an interesting life."
"Sarcasm is the lowest form of humor, you know."
"Actually, that's puns."
"Whatever. We could also see a movie."
Kon grinned. "Movie's good. What's playing?"
"I can't look," Bernard said, burying his face in Kon's shoulder. "Tell me when it's over."
Kon rolled his eyes. "I told you Comedic Comedy would be bad."
"I thought it'd be funny!"
"Exploding Explosions was great. Everything they've made since then? Awful."
Bernard heard a splat. "Did he slip in the pie? They always slip in the pie."
"He slipped in the pie," Kon shifted, and put his arm over Bernard's shoulder.
"These movies are only fun if you have someone to make out with," Bernard said.
"I know," Kon said.
Neither of them said anything for a moment. Then Bernard raised his head. His eyes met Kon's, and they started kissing.
"Tim will murder me," Kon moaned. "He knows how to get kryptonite, and Batman trained him. Batman." He let himself collapse on Bart's bed.
"Don't worry, they don't kill," Bart said. "He'll probably just maim you or something."
"You are not at all comforting, Allen."
Bart grinned. "So what happened?"
"You know Bernard?"
"Tim's friend? Sure."
"I kissed him."
Bart laughed.
"It's not funny!" Kon sat up and glared at Bart. "Tim didn't want me to even stay in contact with Bernard, and now we're in a relationship, of all things!"
"I thought you were straight," Bart said.
"Apparently not. Anyway, I think it's mostly just Bernard. You and Tim? No offense, just no."
"Aww, but Tim and I wanted you to join us in a threesome!"
Kon chucked a pillow at Bart, who vibrated through it.
"So do I tell Tim?"
"Of course you tell Tim."
"Even though he'll kill me?"
"I'll go with you. If he kills you, I'll break up with him. Okay?"
"Comforting," Kon said.
"You're dating Bernard."
Bart wrapped his arms around Tim's neck. "Don't kill him," he murmured.
"I'm not going to kill him. Probably."
"We like him, remember?" Bart said.
Tim leaned his head back onto Bart. "We mostly like him. When he isn't mixing my two lives up."
"Look, I won't tell him you're Robin," Kon said. "We don't even have to hang out together with him."
"What? No double dates?" Bart said. "Tiiiim."
"Shush, Bart," Tim said. "Kon - "
"Dude, I'm not going to mix your lives or whatever. Swear."
"And you're not going to tell him who you are?"
Kon hesitated.
"Kon! You can't tell him. He might wonder why I know Superboy, and then he could figure out - "
"I know! I thought of that! I mean, I can figure something - "
"Kon - "
"Seriously, don't make me fight with you about this," Kon said.
"C'mon, Tim! Don't make him fight with you about it," Bart said.
"Quit it, Bart. Kon, this is a terrible idea."
"It's not! I like him, he likes me, look, what's the problem?"
"He's my friend!"
"Bart's my friend!"
"Oh, is that what this is about? You're annoyed that I'm dating Bart!"
"I'm annoyed that you didn't tell me, but no, that's not what this is about."
"Bart and I are completely different from Bernard and you."
"Why, because it's so important to keep your two precious lives separate? Maybe you shouldn't have invited us to your stupid party!"
"Maybe you're right! My bad for expecting my friends to be understanding!"
"Guys!" Bart yelled. He was twitching anxiously so that he was little more than a blur standing in place.
"What?" Tim and Kon snapped.
"Can you stop yelling at each other? Please?"
"I - " Kon glanced from Bart to Tim and back. "Sorry. Yeah, I'll stop."
"Sorry, Bart," Tim muttered.
"Look," Bart took a breath and came into focus. "Tim, you're being a little unreasonable. Why can't they have a chance to try and go out? It's very rare that High School couples even make it for long." He looked at Kon. "And you probably shouldn't tell him who you really are. I mean, maybe someday, sure, but definitely not yet."
"Wow," Kon said. "When did Bart become the voice of reason?"
Bart beamed. "There were a lot of psychology books in the San Francisco library. And dating advice books. And self-help books."
"Thanks," Tim said. He gave Bart a soft look before turning sharply to Kon. "I still don't approve of this relationship," he said.
"Fine, dude. But I'm not gonna just break up with him. I like Bernard."
"Fine," Tim said. "But if he figures out who I am directly or indirectly because of something you do, I will tell Batman it's your fault."
"I'd never tell him," Kon said. "You know that."
Tim stared at him levelly. "Yeah, I know," he said.
Bernard opened the door to see Kon about to ring the bell.
"Kon, darling!" he said, grinning. "Come in! My mother's not home!"
Kon smirked and stepped inside, kissing Bernard the minute the door closed.
"I...didn't realize," Bernard gasped as Kon moved past his lips and started kissing his jaw and neck, "that...oh...Kent, let's get up to the bedroom?"
"Right, right," Kon said. He stopped kissing Bernard and instead looped an arm around his waist.
"Better," Bernard said. "Thought you were supposed to be in Smallville."
"Oh, uh, another family thing. Should have called, sorry."
"Perfectly alright," Bernard said. "This one's my room."
Kon tackled Bernard as soon as the door was closed. Bernard's nose knocked into Kon's glasses, and they fell off, and Bernard closed his eyes, losing himself in the feeling of Kon's lips, Kon's hand, Kon's knee in just the right...
Wait a minute.
"St- stop - oh - just a moment," Bernard gasped, pushing at Kon's shoulder.
Kon sat up reluctantly. "What is it?" he asked, and his eyes without the glasses were big and blue and -
"Hold on, I have it, it's right - " Bernard opened his closet and pulled out an old poster. "Aha!"
"What's that?"
Bernard unrolled it. It was one of those old Superboy posters, leather jacket, earring...
And Kon's face.
"Crap," Kon said, becoming suddenly pale.
"You're Superboy, aren't you," Bernard said. "You're freaking Superboy!"
"I - uh, yeah."
"I'm dating Superboy?"
"Yeah. That's a good thing, right?"
"Are you kidding?" Bernard laughed. "I had the hugest crush on you when I was twelve!"
"Had?"
"Oh, now I've got this boy I like a lot better. He's rather tall, dark and handsome, answers to the name of Kon?"
"Like the boy more than the super?"
"The super could definitely be a bonus. Can you fly while we kiss?"
"Yep." Kon grinned. "I could get you into the Mile High Club, easy."
"Hmm, I'll have to take you up on that," Bernard said, tossing the poster aside.
Kon yanked off his shirt and scooped Bernard into his arms. Tim would be annoyed, but he could worry about that later. Right now, he had a hot blond and tactile telekinesis. Life was pretty great.