(no subject)
For the few months I was home after Europe, my room has felt more like my space than ever before. I was able to unpack and put pretty things up on the walls for the first time since I painted the room 4 years ago. I was able to wear in my awesome bed I've had for I guess 3 years now. It hasn't been this comfortable for before, which is why it is officially moving wherever I go. It'll be my new bed filled with new stories, dreams, late nights, breakdowns, thoughts, and dreams.
I'm getting really scared of leaving. I say this basically in every entry but it's getting more real that I'm leaving the closer it gets. I can't see myself in Muncie. I always think if I can't picture myself doing something or achieving something that I will die before I can. Well I graduated from high school and college, was in a long-term relationship with someone I actually liked, turned 21, and now got my internship.
I found pictures of my first boyfriend and I today while cleaning. I finally threw out all the letters and cards he had sent me while at basic training. That was 8 1/2 years ago. Unreal. My relationship with him was so naive and innocent. Now that I'm older I can see what a different place he was than me. He was only 3 years older than me. We started dating when I was a freshman and he was a senior. I of course, thought I was so lucky to have an older boyfriend. I mean I was lucky but because he was a good first heartbreak. He just rules at being a person. It's few and far between when I talk to him now but he is such a good guy. Anyways, moving on. What I was going to say was just how different I look. I'm the same person too just a little nicer, thinner, and I embrace my true self more.
I'm crazy and wild and never really knew this till a year or so ago. I'm also better at controlling my emotions. It's nice to not be a basket case 24/7. I like who I am and who I surround myself with. That's why it's hard to leave. I want those people around me all the time whenever I want. I'm selfish like that. They rule. I also am not into making any attachments to any new people. I'll just have to leave them too.
Tomorrow is Athens. It'll rule. Now all I need is sleep and for someone to pack and move my stuff for me.
Britt
I'm getting really scared of leaving. I say this basically in every entry but it's getting more real that I'm leaving the closer it gets. I can't see myself in Muncie. I always think if I can't picture myself doing something or achieving something that I will die before I can. Well I graduated from high school and college, was in a long-term relationship with someone I actually liked, turned 21, and now got my internship.
I found pictures of my first boyfriend and I today while cleaning. I finally threw out all the letters and cards he had sent me while at basic training. That was 8 1/2 years ago. Unreal. My relationship with him was so naive and innocent. Now that I'm older I can see what a different place he was than me. He was only 3 years older than me. We started dating when I was a freshman and he was a senior. I of course, thought I was so lucky to have an older boyfriend. I mean I was lucky but because he was a good first heartbreak. He just rules at being a person. It's few and far between when I talk to him now but he is such a good guy. Anyways, moving on. What I was going to say was just how different I look. I'm the same person too just a little nicer, thinner, and I embrace my true self more.
I'm crazy and wild and never really knew this till a year or so ago. I'm also better at controlling my emotions. It's nice to not be a basket case 24/7. I like who I am and who I surround myself with. That's why it's hard to leave. I want those people around me all the time whenever I want. I'm selfish like that. They rule. I also am not into making any attachments to any new people. I'll just have to leave them too.
Tomorrow is Athens. It'll rule. Now all I need is sleep and for someone to pack and move my stuff for me.
Britt