hm
wow. where do i start. actually i dont want to start. there is a poster in mr ewells room that says 10% of life is what happens to u, and 90% is how u react to it. and if i start writing about the shit going on, i would have to deal with it, and react to it. and i know my reaction wouldnt be good. bc meghan knows my reaction wasnt good. but all i have to say is...how many times to i have to deal with this. this same thing. i dont know why i choose the same road that led me no where the first time and the second and million other fucking times. i dont want to be sad again. i did that. not to long ago. i dont even know what the fuck im doing now, i just find myself starring off into nowhere thinking about dumb shit. because the truth of the matter is that i dont have anyone to blame but myself. i knew the facts, i knew him, i knew everything, and i still thought things would be fucking different, but they werent. i know that i just need to walk away from the situation, and in fact im doing that...but i dunno. im just gonna stop rambling now bc i dont even kno wut the fuck im doing.