I could just- (stopthatspotitstopit.)
The art teacher (the new one, not the old one who I actually liked) seems to have dropped off the earth unexpectedly, and so the vice principal not the nice, Indian lady, but the dickhole who keeps grabbing for my iPod and I'm like "WHAT THE FUCKING HELL ARE YOU DOING, GET YOUR MOTHERFUCKING FILTHY HANDS AWAY FROM MY MOTHERFUCKING IPOD YOU MOTHERFUCKING BITCH." I mean, that's the look I give. I haven't said it yet, ('yet' being the keyword there) and he had to let us in with his big, jangling ring of keys, and I wish it had been one of the janitors. Maybe that black one with the name I think start with a D - or Nikki. (I like Nikki. She's sweet. I'm still a little mad about the whole track incedent but that doesn't have too much to do with her. ENFORCES THE RULES DOESN'T MAKE THEMMMM.) At any rate, he let us in and was here for about sixty seconds and then he left WHICH WAS A RELIEF.
Kate says I have real issues with authority figures.
I've got to say that there has never been a more accurate thing said about me.
The sub that came has a strange accent that isn't hard to understand so much as it is intrigueing and I wish I recognized and knew what it's origins were, but I don't, which is mildly disappointing. I'd ask but I don't know how to describe it. I don't think it's Asian, but it could be Middle Eastern. Or Russian. Maybe something like that. I like it. It's very comforting in and of itself. Far better than her's - her name is Miss Stiles, or something, and I can't admit to liking her much at all, which I think is a pity since I liked Ms. Mandell so much.
I really hope she's okay. (The pictures of her son are all around the room, and they've always interested me but in a very morbid way, like I could somehow feel some dark nostalgia surrending each and every one of them, and I like to stare into his face and at his chest and- wonder what was crushed first. I wonder about Ms. Mandell. Miss her. Hope she's doing alright. Because she can't have deserved it. It strikes me that I look at the family photo, now, that occupies her now unoccupied desk, and I wonder how things could have- come out so tragically. And I do hope she's doing alright and that someday her husband won't be so unhappy, or in so much pain, and I won't say I understand, because I don't, and if it's offensive that the first thing I felt was pity and the second thing I felt was remorse and the third thing the strongest thing I felt was pure intrigue, then I won't say it, but I probably wouldn't anyway. That's just the way these sorts of things work out.)
I would also like to state, for the record, that things are getting worse, not better, but I want even less now to talk about it, because it's not helping to talk about it. I'm paying someone ninety dollars to talk to me about it once a week, and I'm going to call Patsy as soon as I can (as soon as my cell phone is charged, because I haven't called Patsy in so long and I couldn't tell you why, because I know Patsy always makes it better. Always. And I miss her so much.) I'd actually really like to pointedly avoid talking about anything real unless it has to do with your life, because I need to become more absorbed in your guys' problems, because I hate being absorbed in my own. I really do. I hate it. (I show all signs of depression that they say to look for and I can't tell you how angry that makes me. I want to kill something. I want to kill something.)
So, I guess I have a checklist for the weekend, because I'm not going to take the PSAT, I'm not, because I took it last year and I don't even know what scores I got, and besides, who wants to waste their motherfucking Saturday, one they've waited six motherfucking days for, on a test? I'm going to pass it anyway. I'm going to pass it with motherfucking flying colors, and everybody knows that. I'm in a fucking program full of people that everyone knows is like that.
Duh.
And Jahaila can't come over on Friday because she has to watch Malik, and I don't know why she suggested Friday if she already fucking knew that, and I don't understand myself her at all, which I think is a pity, and if she was just using me to get away from her responsibilities I'm going to motherfucking punch something, I swear to fucking God.
I do not plan on getting off of this computer or finishing this entry until the period is over. HA HA HA FUCK YOU WORLD I MOTHERFUCKING HATE YOU AND MOTHERFUCKING PANSY ASS.
...Fuji, I valiantly choose now to copy your "OMG LIST OF INFINITE LOVVVVVE" format because...itmakesmesmiletomyself. ... ... ... ...I HAVE BEEN NEGLECTFUL OF YOUR ENTRIES AND WILL POST COMMENTS GALORE WHEN I GET HOME ASSUMING I ACTUALLY HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY.
[ l i s t o f d o o m ]
- FINISH MIKOSASU LOG, YOU HO. FERRET. BOTHER ME UNTIL WE GET THIS DONE. SRSLY NOW.
- Work Iwa log.
- Get stabbed. (ItaSaso log.)
- Call Patsy.
- Finish first chapters of [ u n d e r t o n e s . . . o v e r l a p ]
- START TWELFTH CHAPTER OF NTW WTH HO WHY NO WRITING YET.
- Call Morgan? (I worry about that ankle.)
- ...wth new music. (-KILLS IPOD-)
- ...secret Oshima videos ftw THEY'LL NEVER KNOW WHUT HIT THEM.
- Ask around and find out if anyone has past the second chapter of the tenth volume of xxxHolic.
- Personal Project. HA HA YA RITE.
- Figure out what's up with Kate.
- ...to that effect: get bandages.
- BEAT THAT MOTHERFUCKING ORGANIZATION SLUT IN KHII. ANYONE HAVE ANY ADVICE FOR POUNDING THE SHIT OUT OF HIM.
- Change layout/avatars.
- Fold laundry.
- Figure out where the hell that new Naruto chapter is.
- Fan fic fan fic fan fic.
- Finish Lara Croft avatars. Start Yondaime set if possible.
- Find KHII groupies.
- Find xxxHolic posse. Kill them if they are dorks.
- Slay all available DoumekixWatanuki fangirls for corrupting me.
- Resist urge to slap Mom in the face.
- Go for a run you motherfucking fatass.
- Take the dog on a walk. (Insert insult here.)
- Stop eating. (You motherfucking fatass.)
- ...pants shopping...?
- Find a new fandom.
- Feed rats.
...and, of course, the relative goal is to disconnect as much as possible from life, which sounds REALLY GOOD right now, and the less I interact with anyone I actually have rl day-to-day interactions the better. Get the fuck away from me, no offense, plskthx.
...oh fuck.
We have Anime Kurabu today.
I completely forgot.
...I am so unfit as a President. Motherfucking Christ.
My hands sting like a motherfucking bitch, and there are holes in them - they got all ripped and torn when I was shoving stuff under my bed 'cleaning my room' and it really painful to use them now. And OF COURSE it's my right hand, because life could not bother to even make a decent attempt at being kind to me, and that's all there is to it, I guess. Pretty much everything hurts, as always. (Pounding headache, chest pains, backache. My heart. My heart hurts.) And I think that if we do anything more on LotF I will just about kill something because I motherfucking hate that book because it's fucking terrible, and Bridgett, you hate dolphins, and so we're even.
BAH.
I.
WANT.
A NEW.
LAYOUT.
Slash life.
...I could just about kill something.
End of story.
(Much love.)
Kate says I have real issues with authority figures.
I've got to say that there has never been a more accurate thing said about me.
The sub that came has a strange accent that isn't hard to understand so much as it is intrigueing and I wish I recognized and knew what it's origins were, but I don't, which is mildly disappointing. I'd ask but I don't know how to describe it. I don't think it's Asian, but it could be Middle Eastern. Or Russian. Maybe something like that. I like it. It's very comforting in and of itself. Far better than her's - her name is Miss Stiles, or something, and I can't admit to liking her much at all, which I think is a pity since I liked Ms. Mandell so much.
I really hope she's okay. (The pictures of her son are all around the room, and they've always interested me but in a very morbid way, like I could somehow feel some dark nostalgia surrending each and every one of them, and I like to stare into his face and at his chest and- wonder what was crushed first. I wonder about Ms. Mandell. Miss her. Hope she's doing alright. Because she can't have deserved it. It strikes me that I look at the family photo, now, that occupies her now unoccupied desk, and I wonder how things could have- come out so tragically. And I do hope she's doing alright and that someday her husband won't be so unhappy, or in so much pain, and I won't say I understand, because I don't, and if it's offensive that the first thing I felt was pity and the second thing I felt was remorse and the third thing the strongest thing I felt was pure intrigue, then I won't say it, but I probably wouldn't anyway. That's just the way these sorts of things work out.)
I would also like to state, for the record, that things are getting worse, not better, but I want even less now to talk about it, because it's not helping to talk about it. I'm paying someone ninety dollars to talk to me about it once a week, and I'm going to call Patsy as soon as I can (as soon as my cell phone is charged, because I haven't called Patsy in so long and I couldn't tell you why, because I know Patsy always makes it better. Always. And I miss her so much.) I'd actually really like to pointedly avoid talking about anything real unless it has to do with your life, because I need to become more absorbed in your guys' problems, because I hate being absorbed in my own. I really do. I hate it. (I show all signs of depression that they say to look for and I can't tell you how angry that makes me. I want to kill something. I want to kill something.)
So, I guess I have a checklist for the weekend, because I'm not going to take the PSAT, I'm not, because I took it last year and I don't even know what scores I got, and besides, who wants to waste their motherfucking Saturday, one they've waited six motherfucking days for, on a test? I'm going to pass it anyway. I'm going to pass it with motherfucking flying colors, and everybody knows that. I'm in a fucking program full of people that everyone knows is like that.
Duh.
And Jahaila can't come over on Friday because she has to watch Malik, and I don't know why she suggested Friday if she already fucking knew that, and I don't understand myself her at all, which I think is a pity, and if she was just using me to get away from her responsibilities I'm going to motherfucking punch something, I swear to fucking God.
I do not plan on getting off of this computer or finishing this entry until the period is over. HA HA HA FUCK YOU WORLD I MOTHERFUCKING HATE YOU AND MOTHERFUCKING PANSY ASS.
...Fuji, I valiantly choose now to copy your "OMG LIST OF INFINITE LOVVVVVE" format because...itmakesmesmiletomyself. ... ... ... ...I HAVE BEEN NEGLECTFUL OF YOUR ENTRIES AND WILL POST COMMENTS GALORE WHEN I GET HOME ASSUMING I ACTUALLY HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY.
[ l i s t o f d o o m ]
- FINISH MIKOSASU LOG, YOU HO. FERRET. BOTHER ME UNTIL WE GET THIS DONE. SRSLY NOW.
- Work Iwa log.
- Get stabbed. (ItaSaso log.)
- Call Patsy.
- Finish first chapters of [ u n d e r t o n e s . . . o v e r l a p ]
- START TWELFTH CHAPTER OF NTW WTH HO WHY NO WRITING YET.
- Call Morgan? (I worry about that ankle.)
- ...wth new music. (-KILLS IPOD-)
- ...secret Oshima videos ftw THEY'LL NEVER KNOW WHUT HIT THEM.
- Ask around and find out if anyone has past the second chapter of the tenth volume of xxxHolic.
- Personal Project. HA HA YA RITE.
- Figure out what's up with Kate.
- ...to that effect: get bandages.
- BEAT THAT MOTHERFUCKING ORGANIZATION SLUT IN KHII. ANYONE HAVE ANY ADVICE FOR POUNDING THE SHIT OUT OF HIM.
- Change layout/avatars.
- Fold laundry.
- Figure out where the hell that new Naruto chapter is.
- Fan fic fan fic fan fic.
- Finish Lara Croft avatars. Start Yondaime set if possible.
- Find KHII groupies.
- Find xxxHolic posse. Kill them if they are dorks.
- Slay all available DoumekixWatanuki fangirls for corrupting me.
- Resist urge to slap Mom in the face.
- Go for a run you motherfucking fatass.
- Take the dog on a walk. (Insert insult here.)
- Stop eating. (You motherfucking fatass.)
- ...pants shopping...?
- Find a new fandom.
- Feed rats.
...and, of course, the relative goal is to disconnect as much as possible from life, which sounds REALLY GOOD right now, and the less I interact with anyone I actually have rl day-to-day interactions the better. Get the fuck away from me, no offense, plskthx.
...oh fuck.
We have Anime Kurabu today.
I completely forgot.
...I am so unfit as a President. Motherfucking Christ.
My hands sting like a motherfucking bitch, and there are holes in them - they got all ripped and torn when I was shoving stuff under my bed 'cleaning my room' and it really painful to use them now. And OF COURSE it's my right hand, because life could not bother to even make a decent attempt at being kind to me, and that's all there is to it, I guess. Pretty much everything hurts, as always. (Pounding headache, chest pains, backache. My heart. My heart hurts.) And I think that if we do anything more on LotF I will just about kill something because I motherfucking hate that book because it's fucking terrible, and Bridgett, you hate dolphins, and so we're even.
BAH.
I.
WANT.
A NEW.
LAYOUT.
Slash life.
...I could just about kill something.
End of story.
(Much love.)