It's fine to fall.
It's fine to fall, if you'll stand up again. And it's fine to ask others to help you stand up again.
Things have gotten harder in the past year, and just when I catch a breather, it gets *even* more difficult. As I'm writing this, I am still healing from my fall. But I know that when things get harder, it means I'll get stronger. Looking back, I admit that I had my moments of weakness. I fell, hard. But when you've fallen down, the only way is to get back up.
I've always stood up by myself. I've always gotten stronger by myself. I still believe that "Self" is a strong thing when you trust in it. It does get lonely and frustrating, but the rewards were enough. I didn't need others to praise me, I only wanted to prove to myself how strong I could be. I only wanted to know that the trust and faith God put in me was well worth it.
Perhaps now, or recently, God is putting me through a new test. I guess he wants me to know that yes, I can stand up by myself. But I can also stand up with others. It's not easy for me to do that, because in all the times I fell, no one helped me. Yes, there are the few that stood by me, and I will never forget them and the support that they gave me during those times. But I largely stood up by myself after being given words of encouragement and support.
This time, it's a new fight, a new challenge, and a whole new level. I am still alone, and I was sure that I lost faith. That once again, I needed to figure out everything by myself, that I had to fix things by myself, and that I had to sacrifice even more of myself. I was so tired of feeling alone in this fight, that I was done with hoping for people to come help me. I was going to help myself.
In all that frustration, I probably said some regretful things.
But today, while I am still gathering my strength to stand up again, to prepare and fight this new (and long) battle again... I asked for help. Will I receive it? I don't know.
But I guess it won't hurt me too much to try and believe in others more.
Things have gotten harder in the past year, and just when I catch a breather, it gets *even* more difficult. As I'm writing this, I am still healing from my fall. But I know that when things get harder, it means I'll get stronger. Looking back, I admit that I had my moments of weakness. I fell, hard. But when you've fallen down, the only way is to get back up.
I've always stood up by myself. I've always gotten stronger by myself. I still believe that "Self" is a strong thing when you trust in it. It does get lonely and frustrating, but the rewards were enough. I didn't need others to praise me, I only wanted to prove to myself how strong I could be. I only wanted to know that the trust and faith God put in me was well worth it.
Perhaps now, or recently, God is putting me through a new test. I guess he wants me to know that yes, I can stand up by myself. But I can also stand up with others. It's not easy for me to do that, because in all the times I fell, no one helped me. Yes, there are the few that stood by me, and I will never forget them and the support that they gave me during those times. But I largely stood up by myself after being given words of encouragement and support.
This time, it's a new fight, a new challenge, and a whole new level. I am still alone, and I was sure that I lost faith. That once again, I needed to figure out everything by myself, that I had to fix things by myself, and that I had to sacrifice even more of myself. I was so tired of feeling alone in this fight, that I was done with hoping for people to come help me. I was going to help myself.
In all that frustration, I probably said some regretful things.
But today, while I am still gathering my strength to stand up again, to prepare and fight this new (and long) battle again... I asked for help. Will I receive it? I don't know.
But I guess it won't hurt me too much to try and believe in others more.