I am a part lesbian sponge creature...
In philosophy of science we're working on reading about feminist epistemology, feminist criticisms of science, and feminist science itself. It's interesting to be learning about all this, because really, feminism puts me on edge for some reason. It is so good that Dr. Clough is teaching this class. I am trying very, very hard not to just follow her everywhere, soaking up every possible thing she can tell me. She is such a wonderful advisor, and since she 'knows' it makes things a lot easier. This stuff is her specialty, and she has made it surprisingly interesting. Maybe I will turn to the dark side again after all.... I think it's mostly the idea of gender-situated knowledge that has got me all up in a geeky frenzy right now, but it is good. It really is fun to look at. =) I wonder though, is it possible to be interested in gender studies and not womens studies? Are they the same? Are they different? Is it possible to conclude either way? That randomly popped into my head when I was doing my reading...
Sometimes I wonder if I'm doing the right thing here. I like to learn -from- people, and I am a little frightened about expressing my own ideas in this crazy world of philosophy+math. Both of these disciplines are scary fuckers, and it always seems like everything has been done already. What could little old me possibly contribute? I'm looking at Kuhnian mathematics (or at least the idea of it) now for my new and improved Honors work, but I don't really know if I am brave enough to go very far with it. Clough thinks I can, but I don't know if I will be able to express my ideas the way I want to, even if I have the extra year now. I am always thinking so many things, but I forget so much all the time, and I do not want to feel so stupid. It sucks to say 'well I had a handle on all this a bit ago but it all just went away and I don't know why'.
Is too much of me absorbed? Sometimes I wonder how much of me isn't just borrowed from everything else... But is that a bad thing? Is that like saying there's nothing original anymore; all you can do is mix it up? I don't know. But I think about it. It makes me happy when people get me. Nick gets me. The other day he said I was half lesbian, or some such and it made my day. Exactly. I think E gets me too. That's two. I don't think Thea gets me anymore, but that is okay. We're past that. And, oddly enough, I think Keith gets me. Isn't that weird? Who woulda thunk it.
I need to sleep because I have to go to work and school and finish my reading any even make a lunch for school tomorrow. And the vicodin is kicking in. Later kids.
Sometimes I wonder if I'm doing the right thing here. I like to learn -from- people, and I am a little frightened about expressing my own ideas in this crazy world of philosophy+math. Both of these disciplines are scary fuckers, and it always seems like everything has been done already. What could little old me possibly contribute? I'm looking at Kuhnian mathematics (or at least the idea of it) now for my new and improved Honors work, but I don't really know if I am brave enough to go very far with it. Clough thinks I can, but I don't know if I will be able to express my ideas the way I want to, even if I have the extra year now. I am always thinking so many things, but I forget so much all the time, and I do not want to feel so stupid. It sucks to say 'well I had a handle on all this a bit ago but it all just went away and I don't know why'.
Is too much of me absorbed? Sometimes I wonder how much of me isn't just borrowed from everything else... But is that a bad thing? Is that like saying there's nothing original anymore; all you can do is mix it up? I don't know. But I think about it. It makes me happy when people get me. Nick gets me. The other day he said I was half lesbian, or some such and it made my day. Exactly. I think E gets me too. That's two. I don't think Thea gets me anymore, but that is okay. We're past that. And, oddly enough, I think Keith gets me. Isn't that weird? Who woulda thunk it.
I need to sleep because I have to go to work and school and finish my reading any even make a lunch for school tomorrow. And the vicodin is kicking in. Later kids.