(no subject)
I think we are entering some kind of new phase... "Phase" is probably the wrong word, because it has temporary implications, but I am way too lazy to go hunt down something else. Perhaps a Brand New Era is a better way to put it...
I'm glad all the people I still care about are doing well. But we seem to be moving in different directions entirely... My world has narrowed to my school, my boyfriend, my disease, my best friend, and my other sister. My life plan has changed from "GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE" to "spend a pleasant, if busy, senior year in Corvallis; graduate; go to graduate school and wait for him; then settle in a happy nest for the next five years and earn doctorate". Insert much more interstate travel than I ever expected, growing up, and then there's still my never ending desire to explore the darker things in life.
Which really cuts to the core of the whole thing... I'm am having trouble reconciling this new, domestic side of myself with my old cynical daemons, who are still alive and well. When you couple this with only feeling the need to connect with two other people in the world, it makes my head feel funny.
I feel strangely satisfied. Trent does that to me. =)
"you ask me if I have a god complex?
let me tell you something:
I am god"
I'm glad all the people I still care about are doing well. But we seem to be moving in different directions entirely... My world has narrowed to my school, my boyfriend, my disease, my best friend, and my other sister. My life plan has changed from "GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE" to "spend a pleasant, if busy, senior year in Corvallis; graduate; go to graduate school and wait for him; then settle in a happy nest for the next five years and earn doctorate". Insert much more interstate travel than I ever expected, growing up, and then there's still my never ending desire to explore the darker things in life.
Which really cuts to the core of the whole thing... I'm am having trouble reconciling this new, domestic side of myself with my old cynical daemons, who are still alive and well. When you couple this with only feeling the need to connect with two other people in the world, it makes my head feel funny.
I feel strangely satisfied. Trent does that to me. =)
"you ask me if I have a god complex?
let me tell you something:
I am god"