❥*o10 the sky is falling down
I HAVE LIKE, 2 WEEKS, UNTIL SPRING BREAK I can't handle.
I've been, so so so soososososo stressed out I'm just like oh. Yeah. Okay. I mean, I get it I'm just like, a college student. I shouldn't be like flipping out all over the place. But I am, I'm just like please kill me. I'm so... alone. My English teacher grades super hard and I have my essay done but I'm just like ha ha ha... And I missed Friday I feel so guilty I hate my life. Math isn't a problem we can skip talking about that one. My last class is Latin America Literature. We have to read these DEPRESSING BIG BOOKS and write a 10 page essay on it. I'm like, wheezes. That isn't due for another 2 weeks though I'mma write up my draft this weekend. Yeah, I'm just. Not. Okay.
It's not just school nnngh, family matters are REALLY wonky right now. We're spending money all over the place where we shouldn't have to, because of this thing that happened. I don't know if I want to talk about it but it was just a stupid mistake that resulted in BIG PROBLEMS. So now my mom is on a short fuse and stressed out too and I'm like, I'm sorry, I can, barely help.
I mean I have given like, just about all my refund check for financial aid to them because they really need it. I don't mind, I'm still a stingy person that wouldn't buy food for myself even if I was DEAD hungry because I'm just like I'll wait, until I'm home. I hate spending money nnghrhfgh, so I hope it helps. It's not just money problems though it's something BIGGER ON TOP OF IT, NNNGH I HATE THIS.
HAHAHAH THIS SOUNDS STUPID. Whatever. Please ignore me. I DON'T REALLY KNOW WHAT I'M BABBLING ABOUT ANYMORE.
I was just so annoyed at everything and I didn't really feel like I could talk to anyone about it straight out, or like, it doesn't help. Maybe I need my moirail. But she's been like NOT AROUND, I'm not okay I need her. Weeps. In. Hands. I'm cool. I have great friends, I'm just stressed out I hope I'm not being a bad friend by just, not, having much, patience about things. Or something. Idk how much it's showing.
Last night I grabbed a bottle of wine cuz it was, like right there, and downed most of it. Thinking about it now I really hate myself for doing that. Past me. Is so. Dumb. But I'm just like... it was, cool, I guess. It made me happy for that period of time but I'm not RETARDED I'm not going to do that again.
Wow I'm so dumb.
Shadow said I was like, a TRAINWRECK last night maybe she's right. She was like whoa what when I told her I was getting wine. I DON'T EVER DO THIS I WON'T DO IT AGAIN OKAY WEEPS IN HANDS.
I'm cool. I don't know why I'm like this I'm usually much happier even in bad situations. I guess I'm just...
I don't know what I'm doing with my life anymore.
I just need this month to be over.