Last Summer
I really don't want the summer to come around.
This may seem somewhat odd. I like sunshine. I like going out and being able to enjoy being outside.
But I kinda don't want it to come around because I'm so goddamned scared of what's going to happen.
I'vev mentioned this before, but my boyfriend lives about 120 miles away when he is at home. It's about two hours on a train, or a two and a half hour car-ride. Etc, etc.
We've been living in the very same house this year for university. Staying in the same room, doing the same modules, etc, etc.
So it's going to be a massive wrench when he goes away and we all have to go back home to our parents.
I will have to pay my mom board - something which I have no problem with. But she is expecting a large amount which I don't consider relative to how much water, food, electricity etc that I will be using. But whatever, she's poor.
Last year things managed to be okay with my boyfriend coming over because my Mom said that if she was gone for the weekend (she was gone every weekend), then my boyf would be able to stay over. I managed to swapy my shifts with people at work so that I could see him for that time.
This year, I don't have a job, but will likely be required to get one over the summer while living at my Mom's just because I won't be able to afford her ridiculous requests, along with having and maintaining a car, and wanting to just, y'know, buy things for myself. I'm so selfish like that.
Most part-time jobs will request that I am available at the weekends, and this would be the time I would normally be allowed to see my boyfriend. I am concerned that I will not get to see him over the summer. We're thinking of going on vacation someplace, but that will cost money, too. I have savings, but I don't want to dip into them for the sake of my mother, who cannot budget herself on the wages she now has and has to 'borrow' off of my Grandad, and me come summertime.
I'll either have to convince her that Ben will have to come over during the week, or not see my boyfriend for a long period of time.
Hmm.
So, I'm worried, when I should be more concerned about my philosophy of religion exam in five days time. Urgh. I wish things weren't this way. I really, really do.