Aoi/Shin - The Little Things - Oneshot
Title: The Little Things
Author: TsumetaiKaze
Band/Pairing: Aoi/Shin [Gazette/Kagrra,]
Genre: FluffFluffFluff, with a bit of humour lost in there somewhere
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Fluff overload?
Disclaimer: HAH! Nice one. No.
Summary: Because that was what Aoi loved the most; the seemingly insignificant characteristics that made Shin who he was.
Comments: A companion of sorts to Contrast. Beta'd by _yoki_. Thank you, honey! -lovelove!-
Either Aoi’s vocabulary was a valid point of concern, or the words to describe the overpowering emotions he was currently experiencing simply didn’t exist.
He chose to believe it was the latter, and smiled to himself at the thought that Shin would most definitely say it was the former.
As if knowing Aoi was smiling at his expense, the small guitarist lifted his head, tilting it curiously in Aoi’s direction.
And Aoi didn’t know if it was the way Shin was still able to look cute in his performance attire and make-up, or if it was how those eyes, mostly hidden in shadow, seemed to bore straight into him and read his mind, or if it was just because it was Shin, but it made his heart skip.
A million and one adjectives for a million and one emotions suddenly rushed to mind as he met Shin’s gaze, but not a single one came close to accurately summing up how he felt.
As Shin cast him another curious look before returning to tuning his guitar, Aoi felt an overwhelming affection for the guitarist, one so strong he had to grip the edge of his seat lest he do something to make Izumi give him the disapproving eye from the opposite side of the stage.
There was excitement there too, and some nervousness and apprehension. Curiosity at how he would view Shin’s performance now that he saw him in an entirely different light, regret that it was only happening now, and sadness for how much he’d missed out on. There was relief that Shin hadn’t kicked him out yet despite the amount of work that needed to be done, and a slight twinge of paranoia that it would still happen. He felt honestly happy that he was allowed to be here, able to observe Shin in a perspective that hadn’t been available to him before, and a great appreciation for the other band and staff members that put up with him.
There was awe at how amazing Shin looked under the lights as he melted into his guitar, and disbelief still lingered as he marveled at the simple fact that Shin was his.
And underneath all the emotions he actually found a name for, were so many more that he couldn’t place, that changed as frequently as Shin changed notes, that he didn’t understand yet.
He wanted to get closer, get Shin to teach him the names of all the ones he didn’t understand and show him new ones he was yet to learn. But at the same time, Aoi wanted to back away further and watch him from a distance, watch him when he didn’t know he was being watched.
Because that was what Aoi loved the most; the seemingly insignificant characteristics that made Shin who he was.
He loved that fierce look of concentration as he ensured that every sound his guitar produced was perfect. He loved the content that radiated from him as his talented fingers moved over to the koto and plucked delicately at the strings. He loved the smile as he laughed with his band mates, sound-checking all their instruments and joking like teenagers, like the close friends they were.
And he loved the tiny, hidden smile. The smile that only barely played at the corners of his mouth as he looked at each member in turn. The smile that no one noticed, because no one was paying attention.
Except Aoi.
Aoi was watching so intently it made his eyes hurt, but he was proud that he noticed it. That he, not the friends that had known Shin for nearing on half his life, only he had noticed the tiny differences that meant nothing to anyone else but the world to him.
Aoi noticed the tiny shiver of excitement that ran through Shin’s body as the staff announced everything was in perfect working order.
Aoi noticed the way he blinked faster and more frequently, almost like he was making sure he wasn’t living a dream, when someone else mentioned they would be letting the impatiently-waiting crowd into the foyer in two minutes.
Aoi noticed as Shin’s excited smile began to turn fake when his friends began walking past him to back stage before it faded completely and was replaced with teeth subtly worrying at a bottom lip.
Aoi noticed the excited, made-up eyes lifting to meet his own as he pushed himself off the chair, and Aoi noticed the barest hint of nerves beneath the relatively excited and confident exterior.
He noticed it all, because he wanted to. He’d decided he would know Shin, learn him properly as a lover, and he was finally beginning to feel that he was achieving his goal.
He took the few steps required to reach Shin and immediately reached out to link their fingers together with a reassuring smile. Shin leaned his head on his shoulder as they began to walk off stage, following the rest of the band.
“Are you done staring at me like I’ll disappear if you blink?”
Aoi gave a breathy laugh, squeezing Shin’s hand tightly as he suddenly became very much aware of how close the offhand comment had been to hitting home on his feelings.
Shin peered up at him, clearly worried. “Hey, are you okay?”
Aoi only nodded with a genuine smile. “I’m fine, don’t stress.”
Shin looked sideways at him, skeptical. “Are you -?”
“Yes,” Aoi grinned, ducking slightly to kiss him on the top of his head, breath tickling his hair as he said, “Never better.” He lifted his head to peer down. “And don’t look at me like that.”
“Like what?”
“Like you don’t believe me. I’m fine.”
Shin’s cheeks tinged pink as he looked away. “Sorry.”
Aoi sighed, knowing Shin didn’t believe him and honestly not sure if he believed himself either. He wasn’t sure about a lot of things when Shin was close to him like this, and while he did feel fine, he also felt a lot of other things - things he hadn’t quite grasped yet. He wanted to explain it to the other guitarist in a word that wasn’t ‘fine’, he wanted to convey every thought and feeling currently racing through him in more than a simple smile, but he couldn’t.
So he turned Shin in his arms so the other’s back was pressed against his chest, let go of his hand and wrapped both arms around his waist as he murmured, “You’re nervous,” into his ear.
Shin stiffened, barely noticeable.
“I do pay attention to some things, you know.”
Shin relaxed, only slightly, and covered Aoi’s hands with his own.
Aoi kissed his temple softly. “You’ve done it hundreds of times. What are you nervous about?”
Shin shrugged replying quietly, “New songs, new outfits… new people.” He played with Aoi’s fingers absently, shyly.
The older man got the hint immediately, and smiled as he breathed into his ear, “I won’t look. Promise.”
Shin allowed a small laugh to escape at that, and relaxed properly. “You promise?”
Aoi kissed him on the cheek, more enthusiastically this time, and said, “Of course!” Tightening his arms around Shin’s waist, Aoi smiled into his hair.
“Wrinkle my clothes and you face the costume manager,” Shin warned. “You know how fierce they can get.”
“Pah, I’d win against the girl that dresses you any day,” Aoi laughed confidently.
Shin twisted just enough so Aoi could see the raised eyebrow as he asked, “Oh? And why is that?”
“I undress you,” he smirked.
Shin rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t hide the shy smile or the rising blush as Aoi laughed, murmuring breathily into his ear.
“I want to take you somewhere.”
Shin faltered. “But - what? Now?”
“Yep.”
“Aoi, we’re on in half an hour.”
“I won’t take you too far,” he said as convincingly as he could.
One thing he had learned these last couple of months was that as much as Shin liked to believe he had a tough resolve, he really didn’t. All it took for Aoi to convince him was a pout, a wink, a smile - anything, really.
He smirked triumphantly as he heard the resistance in Shin’s voice weakening when he mumbled, “There isn’t anywhere in this hall I haven’t been, though…”
Aoi just shrugged and stepped away from the other, waiting for a couple of staff members to hurry past before saying, “Yes, but not with me.”
Shin opened his mouth to say more, perhaps argue, but realised Aoi had a point, and closed it again.
Aoi sent him a mischievous grin, his nerves suddenly springing to life and making his heart beat wildly in his chest, making his palms feel sweatier than they were.
He covered it well, lifting an eyebrow at Shin as he declared, “We’re running.”
Shin blinked. “Why?”
“Because you love running.”
“ But -“
“Go!”
And Aoi was gone, hair flying out behind him as he ran out his nerves, ran out his confused mess of mixed emotions, ran out the anxiousness he felt at knowing there was something underneath them all but unable to put his finger on it.
He didn’t need to check behind to see if Shin was following, because he knew he wouldn’t be able to resist. He only hoped he was doing the same as Aoi himself, and trying to let go of senseless nervousness and worry.
Aoi gave a mildly amused Isshi a passing glance, before grinning and swerving around Akiya, frozen stock-still in surprise and giving the two passing guitarists a what-the-hell look.
“I don’t know either,” Shin supplied, yelping suddenly as Aoi doubled back, grabbed his hand, and yanked him forwards with a laugh.
Nao suddenly stepped out of the next room, and Aoi barely had enough time to side-step and continue on his way, tugging Shin along insistently.
“Be nice - we need that one! He hasn’t performed yet!”
Aoi laughed, a childish sense of excitement running through him, and paused just long enough at the staircase they’d come to to reply, “And after that?”
Nao winked. “He’s all yours, chief.”
Shin took the moments respite to shoot a glaring “Thanks,” at Nao, and an almost exasperated, “Balcony, I’m guessing?” at Aoi.
Aoi didn’t even have time for a dejected nod, a little deflated now that Shin knew exactly where they were headed, when said guitarist grinned, “See you up there then, old man,” and ran up the stairs two at a time.
Aoi stood there, smiling like an idiot for a full two seconds, before offence kicked in and spurred him forwards, more determined than ever to beat Shin. He felt vaguely like he was young again, the moody guitarist of the new PS Company band and doing everything he could to learn what Shin knew, to catch up to him. But he didn’t want to be chasing after Shin again, he wanted to actually act like the older one for once, and look out for the other. His original motive for this had been to make his partner forget his pointless nerves and have a little bit of childish fun, but considering that had been well and truly accomplished in a matter of seconds, Aoi wasn’t quite sure what came next.
As he came up the second flight of steps, Shin looked back at him with a huge, brilliant smile that had Aoi bursting with something, with everything. He felt something that could only be described as his stomach dong acrobatic tricks, and all those nameless emotions poured out of him again, threatening to engulf him with the sheer force with which they swamped his mind and overrode every thought other than those of the man before him.
They intensified when he laughed, made his heart feel like it was going to burst, and Aoi began to fear for his sanity.
But then, as Shin glanced back from the bottom for the third and final flight of stairs, as Aoi saw that excited glint of determination in his eyes when he was urged to ‘put more effort into it’, everything made a whole lot more sense.
Everything fell into place, and Aoi couldn’t help but smile wider, laugh louder, and run faster, determined to reach Shin and show him that everything, because the one word he’d found to describe all he was feeling somehow didn’t seem like enough.
But Shin was always four steps ahead of him, teasing him about being old and slow because he knew Aoi had nothing to say against it.
Shin got to the balcony door before him, opening it and turning around just in time for Aoi to crash into him, pushing their bodies impossibly close and swooping down on him for a fierce kiss. A kiss that was broken by their frequent intakes pf much-needed air, but still managed to speak every word that didn’t exist for every feeling he couldn’t describe.
Aoi’s hands traveled from Shin’s waist to the back of his neck, fingers caressing the smooth, slightly heated skin. His other moved to Shin’s lower back, pressing them closer still as he kissed him harder, more insistently.
But Shin understood it all, taking everything Aoi gave willingly. Whenever they broke apart for half a second, breathing heavily, Shin was always willing to continue their conversation, understanding Aoi with his lips, hands and tongue.
And Aoi held him gently - not like he was fragile and easily broken, but because he was. Not like he would disappear tomorrow, but because Aoi knew there was every chance of that happening. And not like he loved him more than anything, but because he did.
A cool breeze danced between them, playing with their hair as their lips separated and eyes opened, breaths playing across each other’s lips as they breathed heavily.
Shin had his eyes closed, but Aoi was watching him, eyes transfixed on his lips as they slowly curved into a smile, then formed the whispered words, “Aoi, what’s this all -?”
“I love you,” he said, interrupting and not giving a damn.
Because this was what had been churning inside him for longer than he knew, longer than he cared to understand, and only hadn’t understood because it was a new feeling. Or maybe it wasn’t, and Aoi was just feeling it on a whole new scale, or maybe he’d been feeling it for a while and had just mistaken it as something else, and maybe he’d felt something like it before - but not this. Not this intense. Not this overwhelming. Not this absorbing.
He watched as Shin’s eyes flew open, going wider than normal, then felt his heart jump as the smaller man relaxed completely against him, lips curling into that beautiful, shy smile he so often wore as he looked into his eyes.
Aoi swallowed, nervous and not bothering to hide it. “I love you, and even if you can’t return it just yet, or ever, I don’t care. I couldn’t tell you how long I’ve loved you - it could be hours or it could be years - but the fact stands that I do. I’m really not very good at this sort of thing, I guess, considering I’ve never actually done it before. Well, I have, but you sort of blow them all out of the water, you know? They’re all insignificant crushes compared to you, because you’re just so - you’re you, and simply because of that I love you. Stop looking at me like you don’t believe me, this is a lot harder than it - why are you laughing?”
Aoi whined, putting both hands on Shin’s shoulders and holding him at arm’s length, looking down at him sternly and anxiously at the same time. He frowned as Shin brought up one hand to cover his mouth, but couldn’t stop Aoi from feeling his shoulders shake a little.
“Shin, I’m being serious here!”
Shin nodded, a tiny giggle escaping.
Aoi worried his teeth over where his piercing once was, feeling as though everything was crumbling around him.
“Shin…” he said softly.
It seemed to reach the other guitarist, because he closed his eyes and forced himself to calm down, opening them again to give an only slightly amused look. “Sorry,” he smiled, biting his lip as well. “You just looked so c-“
“Finish the sentence and I’ll take back the promise I made to Nao about being nice.”
Shin snorted. “You wouldn’t.”
Aoi wrinkled his nose, feeling a smile tug at his lips as well. “I know.”
His expression grew serious again as Shin sighed, and he dropped his hands so they were resting around his waist again. He felt both Shin’s hands come up to the front of his open button-up shirt, one playing with the fabric of black t-shirt underneath and the other playing with the buttons.
Aoi wrapped his arms around Shin’s small waist tightly, resting his cheek atop his head as he said, “Take me seriously for once, Shin. This is -“
Shin’s head jerked up suddenly, and Aoi’s eyes widened in surprise as he felt thin lips press against his own insistently, almost urgently. The hand that had been playing idly with the buttons of his shirt slid slowly up his chest and into his hair, and Aoi shivered at the touch, amazed that Shin could take control of things whenever he wanted, could let lose that hidden side that had always given him that subtle edge of mystery.
Aoi slid his hands down over Shin’s sides, gripping tightly so he could lift him up, keeping their lips’ heated contact. Shin’s legs automatically wrapped around his waist, his other hand looping around Aoi’s neck as he walked them over to the balcony’s edge, sitting Shin down on the railings.
“I won’t let you fall,” he whispered against the other’s lips, eyes closing from when he’d opened them to see where he was going.
He felt Shin’s smirk as he moved, pressed again his neck. “You have no idea how far I’ve fallen already, Aoi.”
The older guitarist shivered as Shin kissed at his neck lightly, almost shyly, curiously. He ran his hands up and down the other’s back, dipping underneath the definitely wrinkled material to feel hot skin, wanting to take it off and feel more but knowing he couldn’t.
He felt Shin tug at his hair as he bit down, contrasting to the light touches of before, and Aoi didn’t bother fighting the tiny groan of pleasure. He wanted Shin to mark him, and couldn’t care less who saw it the next day. Not everyone knew who would have given it to him, but he would know, and that was all that mattered to him.
Fingers curled in his hair, tugged his head forwards from where it had fallen back, and he gave a barely-audible sigh as their lips met again, molding together perfectly. Shin pressed himself hard against him, one hand entirely tangled in his hair and the other gripping the front of his t-shirt, hanging on for dear life.
Aoi held him tighter, heart racing in his chest as Shin broke away briefly, apparently just to look into his eyes for a moment, then dived in again. This time Shin opened up for him, letting Aoi willingly explore the well-known territory again. Aoi wanted to make Shin shiver the way he had been, and wanted to show him just how much he’d meant what he said.
He loved him because he was him, and there was nothing else to it.
But he pulled back for a second, just long enough to mumble, “We should probably go back.”
Shin kissed him again, not allowing him to say anything else as their lips crashed together and their hands lifted up t-shirts to reach more skin, only the knowledge that Shin was to perform soon holding them back.
“I know,” he said, and Aoi chased his lips.
Shin’s taste was driving him mad, just as it had always done, but now there were so many things running through his head, so many feelings wanting to leap out of him, so much he wanted to explain to the other, and wanted to just because he knew there was no reason, just because he knew he didn’t have to.
But - “We have to.”
Ai sighed, knowing Shin was right, and forced himself not to take those lips again. He took a deep breath, a slow smile spreading across his face as he leant his forehead against Shin’s.
“Sorry. I guess I’ll have to face your costume manager, huh?”
Shin blushed, looking down at his disheveled clothing as Aoi slowly withdrew his hands, resting them almost innocently at his sides, still holding him firm enough to prevent him from falling.
“I guess…” He raised his eyes to meet Aoi’s, and his blush darkened.
Aoi couldn’t help but release a breathy laugh at the adorably ruffled picture Shin painted, and ducked forward to kiss him on the forehead. He gripped him tightly, lifting him slowly and letting him put his feet back on the ground.
Shin almost reluctantly let his legs relax, sliding down onto his own two feet and attempting to straighten out his clothes. Aoi brushed his hands away, holding them down as he smiled, “Leave it to them. You’ve still got…” he checked his watch and raised his eyebrows, a little surprised himself. “Oh… six minutes?”
Shin’s eyes suddenly widened. “Six?!” He ducked around Aoi, wrenching the door open and reaching back to grab Aoi’s hand, tugging him through too. “Come on, we should’ve been down there ages ago.”
But Aoi resisted against the insistent tug and shook his head, smiling at Shin’s frustrated and confused look.
“Aoi, seriously.”
Aoi kept shaking his head. “No, you go. I think I’ll stay up here for a bit. You won’t be starting straight away, will you?”
Shin pursed his lips and stopped trying to drag Aoi through the door with him, dropping his hand and placing it instead on his hip. “Not now that I’m late for the first time in my life, Izumi will have to lecture me, again for the first time in my life, all causing Isshi’s pre-show monologue to run overtime.”
Aoi laughed as Shin frowned, and moved forwards to wrap him in a tight hug, which was returned with a defeated sigh.
“I mean it,” Aoi whispered. “I love you.”
Shin pulled back with a smile, already turning away to hurry down the stairs as he replied, “Love you too, dork.”
Aoi snorted, folding his arms as he watched his partner - love - race down the stairs two at a time.
But he knew he meant it when, after eventually following to watch the show he’d come here for, Shin’s eyes met his own and the tiny, hidden smile grew wide enough for everyone to notice.
------
Comments, as always, are love XD
And again, I blame school for invading my life and taking up too much time. Hmph.
Author: TsumetaiKaze
Band/Pairing: Aoi/Shin [Gazette/Kagrra,]
Genre: FluffFluffFluff, with a bit of humour lost in there somewhere
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Fluff overload?
Disclaimer: HAH! Nice one. No.
Summary: Because that was what Aoi loved the most; the seemingly insignificant characteristics that made Shin who he was.
Comments: A companion of sorts to Contrast. Beta'd by _yoki_. Thank you, honey! -lovelove!-
Either Aoi’s vocabulary was a valid point of concern, or the words to describe the overpowering emotions he was currently experiencing simply didn’t exist.
He chose to believe it was the latter, and smiled to himself at the thought that Shin would most definitely say it was the former.
As if knowing Aoi was smiling at his expense, the small guitarist lifted his head, tilting it curiously in Aoi’s direction.
And Aoi didn’t know if it was the way Shin was still able to look cute in his performance attire and make-up, or if it was how those eyes, mostly hidden in shadow, seemed to bore straight into him and read his mind, or if it was just because it was Shin, but it made his heart skip.
A million and one adjectives for a million and one emotions suddenly rushed to mind as he met Shin’s gaze, but not a single one came close to accurately summing up how he felt.
As Shin cast him another curious look before returning to tuning his guitar, Aoi felt an overwhelming affection for the guitarist, one so strong he had to grip the edge of his seat lest he do something to make Izumi give him the disapproving eye from the opposite side of the stage.
There was excitement there too, and some nervousness and apprehension. Curiosity at how he would view Shin’s performance now that he saw him in an entirely different light, regret that it was only happening now, and sadness for how much he’d missed out on. There was relief that Shin hadn’t kicked him out yet despite the amount of work that needed to be done, and a slight twinge of paranoia that it would still happen. He felt honestly happy that he was allowed to be here, able to observe Shin in a perspective that hadn’t been available to him before, and a great appreciation for the other band and staff members that put up with him.
There was awe at how amazing Shin looked under the lights as he melted into his guitar, and disbelief still lingered as he marveled at the simple fact that Shin was his.
And underneath all the emotions he actually found a name for, were so many more that he couldn’t place, that changed as frequently as Shin changed notes, that he didn’t understand yet.
He wanted to get closer, get Shin to teach him the names of all the ones he didn’t understand and show him new ones he was yet to learn. But at the same time, Aoi wanted to back away further and watch him from a distance, watch him when he didn’t know he was being watched.
Because that was what Aoi loved the most; the seemingly insignificant characteristics that made Shin who he was.
He loved that fierce look of concentration as he ensured that every sound his guitar produced was perfect. He loved the content that radiated from him as his talented fingers moved over to the koto and plucked delicately at the strings. He loved the smile as he laughed with his band mates, sound-checking all their instruments and joking like teenagers, like the close friends they were.
And he loved the tiny, hidden smile. The smile that only barely played at the corners of his mouth as he looked at each member in turn. The smile that no one noticed, because no one was paying attention.
Except Aoi.
Aoi was watching so intently it made his eyes hurt, but he was proud that he noticed it. That he, not the friends that had known Shin for nearing on half his life, only he had noticed the tiny differences that meant nothing to anyone else but the world to him.
Aoi noticed the tiny shiver of excitement that ran through Shin’s body as the staff announced everything was in perfect working order.
Aoi noticed the way he blinked faster and more frequently, almost like he was making sure he wasn’t living a dream, when someone else mentioned they would be letting the impatiently-waiting crowd into the foyer in two minutes.
Aoi noticed as Shin’s excited smile began to turn fake when his friends began walking past him to back stage before it faded completely and was replaced with teeth subtly worrying at a bottom lip.
Aoi noticed the excited, made-up eyes lifting to meet his own as he pushed himself off the chair, and Aoi noticed the barest hint of nerves beneath the relatively excited and confident exterior.
He noticed it all, because he wanted to. He’d decided he would know Shin, learn him properly as a lover, and he was finally beginning to feel that he was achieving his goal.
He took the few steps required to reach Shin and immediately reached out to link their fingers together with a reassuring smile. Shin leaned his head on his shoulder as they began to walk off stage, following the rest of the band.
“Are you done staring at me like I’ll disappear if you blink?”
Aoi gave a breathy laugh, squeezing Shin’s hand tightly as he suddenly became very much aware of how close the offhand comment had been to hitting home on his feelings.
Shin peered up at him, clearly worried. “Hey, are you okay?”
Aoi only nodded with a genuine smile. “I’m fine, don’t stress.”
Shin looked sideways at him, skeptical. “Are you -?”
“Yes,” Aoi grinned, ducking slightly to kiss him on the top of his head, breath tickling his hair as he said, “Never better.” He lifted his head to peer down. “And don’t look at me like that.”
“Like what?”
“Like you don’t believe me. I’m fine.”
Shin’s cheeks tinged pink as he looked away. “Sorry.”
Aoi sighed, knowing Shin didn’t believe him and honestly not sure if he believed himself either. He wasn’t sure about a lot of things when Shin was close to him like this, and while he did feel fine, he also felt a lot of other things - things he hadn’t quite grasped yet. He wanted to explain it to the other guitarist in a word that wasn’t ‘fine’, he wanted to convey every thought and feeling currently racing through him in more than a simple smile, but he couldn’t.
So he turned Shin in his arms so the other’s back was pressed against his chest, let go of his hand and wrapped both arms around his waist as he murmured, “You’re nervous,” into his ear.
Shin stiffened, barely noticeable.
“I do pay attention to some things, you know.”
Shin relaxed, only slightly, and covered Aoi’s hands with his own.
Aoi kissed his temple softly. “You’ve done it hundreds of times. What are you nervous about?”
Shin shrugged replying quietly, “New songs, new outfits… new people.” He played with Aoi’s fingers absently, shyly.
The older man got the hint immediately, and smiled as he breathed into his ear, “I won’t look. Promise.”
Shin allowed a small laugh to escape at that, and relaxed properly. “You promise?”
Aoi kissed him on the cheek, more enthusiastically this time, and said, “Of course!” Tightening his arms around Shin’s waist, Aoi smiled into his hair.
“Wrinkle my clothes and you face the costume manager,” Shin warned. “You know how fierce they can get.”
“Pah, I’d win against the girl that dresses you any day,” Aoi laughed confidently.
Shin twisted just enough so Aoi could see the raised eyebrow as he asked, “Oh? And why is that?”
“I undress you,” he smirked.
Shin rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t hide the shy smile or the rising blush as Aoi laughed, murmuring breathily into his ear.
“I want to take you somewhere.”
Shin faltered. “But - what? Now?”
“Yep.”
“Aoi, we’re on in half an hour.”
“I won’t take you too far,” he said as convincingly as he could.
One thing he had learned these last couple of months was that as much as Shin liked to believe he had a tough resolve, he really didn’t. All it took for Aoi to convince him was a pout, a wink, a smile - anything, really.
He smirked triumphantly as he heard the resistance in Shin’s voice weakening when he mumbled, “There isn’t anywhere in this hall I haven’t been, though…”
Aoi just shrugged and stepped away from the other, waiting for a couple of staff members to hurry past before saying, “Yes, but not with me.”
Shin opened his mouth to say more, perhaps argue, but realised Aoi had a point, and closed it again.
Aoi sent him a mischievous grin, his nerves suddenly springing to life and making his heart beat wildly in his chest, making his palms feel sweatier than they were.
He covered it well, lifting an eyebrow at Shin as he declared, “We’re running.”
Shin blinked. “Why?”
“Because you love running.”
“ But -“
“Go!”
And Aoi was gone, hair flying out behind him as he ran out his nerves, ran out his confused mess of mixed emotions, ran out the anxiousness he felt at knowing there was something underneath them all but unable to put his finger on it.
He didn’t need to check behind to see if Shin was following, because he knew he wouldn’t be able to resist. He only hoped he was doing the same as Aoi himself, and trying to let go of senseless nervousness and worry.
Aoi gave a mildly amused Isshi a passing glance, before grinning and swerving around Akiya, frozen stock-still in surprise and giving the two passing guitarists a what-the-hell look.
“I don’t know either,” Shin supplied, yelping suddenly as Aoi doubled back, grabbed his hand, and yanked him forwards with a laugh.
Nao suddenly stepped out of the next room, and Aoi barely had enough time to side-step and continue on his way, tugging Shin along insistently.
“Be nice - we need that one! He hasn’t performed yet!”
Aoi laughed, a childish sense of excitement running through him, and paused just long enough at the staircase they’d come to to reply, “And after that?”
Nao winked. “He’s all yours, chief.”
Shin took the moments respite to shoot a glaring “Thanks,” at Nao, and an almost exasperated, “Balcony, I’m guessing?” at Aoi.
Aoi didn’t even have time for a dejected nod, a little deflated now that Shin knew exactly where they were headed, when said guitarist grinned, “See you up there then, old man,” and ran up the stairs two at a time.
Aoi stood there, smiling like an idiot for a full two seconds, before offence kicked in and spurred him forwards, more determined than ever to beat Shin. He felt vaguely like he was young again, the moody guitarist of the new PS Company band and doing everything he could to learn what Shin knew, to catch up to him. But he didn’t want to be chasing after Shin again, he wanted to actually act like the older one for once, and look out for the other. His original motive for this had been to make his partner forget his pointless nerves and have a little bit of childish fun, but considering that had been well and truly accomplished in a matter of seconds, Aoi wasn’t quite sure what came next.
As he came up the second flight of steps, Shin looked back at him with a huge, brilliant smile that had Aoi bursting with something, with everything. He felt something that could only be described as his stomach dong acrobatic tricks, and all those nameless emotions poured out of him again, threatening to engulf him with the sheer force with which they swamped his mind and overrode every thought other than those of the man before him.
They intensified when he laughed, made his heart feel like it was going to burst, and Aoi began to fear for his sanity.
But then, as Shin glanced back from the bottom for the third and final flight of stairs, as Aoi saw that excited glint of determination in his eyes when he was urged to ‘put more effort into it’, everything made a whole lot more sense.
Everything fell into place, and Aoi couldn’t help but smile wider, laugh louder, and run faster, determined to reach Shin and show him that everything, because the one word he’d found to describe all he was feeling somehow didn’t seem like enough.
But Shin was always four steps ahead of him, teasing him about being old and slow because he knew Aoi had nothing to say against it.
Shin got to the balcony door before him, opening it and turning around just in time for Aoi to crash into him, pushing their bodies impossibly close and swooping down on him for a fierce kiss. A kiss that was broken by their frequent intakes pf much-needed air, but still managed to speak every word that didn’t exist for every feeling he couldn’t describe.
Aoi’s hands traveled from Shin’s waist to the back of his neck, fingers caressing the smooth, slightly heated skin. His other moved to Shin’s lower back, pressing them closer still as he kissed him harder, more insistently.
But Shin understood it all, taking everything Aoi gave willingly. Whenever they broke apart for half a second, breathing heavily, Shin was always willing to continue their conversation, understanding Aoi with his lips, hands and tongue.
And Aoi held him gently - not like he was fragile and easily broken, but because he was. Not like he would disappear tomorrow, but because Aoi knew there was every chance of that happening. And not like he loved him more than anything, but because he did.
A cool breeze danced between them, playing with their hair as their lips separated and eyes opened, breaths playing across each other’s lips as they breathed heavily.
Shin had his eyes closed, but Aoi was watching him, eyes transfixed on his lips as they slowly curved into a smile, then formed the whispered words, “Aoi, what’s this all -?”
“I love you,” he said, interrupting and not giving a damn.
Because this was what had been churning inside him for longer than he knew, longer than he cared to understand, and only hadn’t understood because it was a new feeling. Or maybe it wasn’t, and Aoi was just feeling it on a whole new scale, or maybe he’d been feeling it for a while and had just mistaken it as something else, and maybe he’d felt something like it before - but not this. Not this intense. Not this overwhelming. Not this absorbing.
He watched as Shin’s eyes flew open, going wider than normal, then felt his heart jump as the smaller man relaxed completely against him, lips curling into that beautiful, shy smile he so often wore as he looked into his eyes.
Aoi swallowed, nervous and not bothering to hide it. “I love you, and even if you can’t return it just yet, or ever, I don’t care. I couldn’t tell you how long I’ve loved you - it could be hours or it could be years - but the fact stands that I do. I’m really not very good at this sort of thing, I guess, considering I’ve never actually done it before. Well, I have, but you sort of blow them all out of the water, you know? They’re all insignificant crushes compared to you, because you’re just so - you’re you, and simply because of that I love you. Stop looking at me like you don’t believe me, this is a lot harder than it - why are you laughing?”
Aoi whined, putting both hands on Shin’s shoulders and holding him at arm’s length, looking down at him sternly and anxiously at the same time. He frowned as Shin brought up one hand to cover his mouth, but couldn’t stop Aoi from feeling his shoulders shake a little.
“Shin, I’m being serious here!”
Shin nodded, a tiny giggle escaping.
Aoi worried his teeth over where his piercing once was, feeling as though everything was crumbling around him.
“Shin…” he said softly.
It seemed to reach the other guitarist, because he closed his eyes and forced himself to calm down, opening them again to give an only slightly amused look. “Sorry,” he smiled, biting his lip as well. “You just looked so c-“
“Finish the sentence and I’ll take back the promise I made to Nao about being nice.”
Shin snorted. “You wouldn’t.”
Aoi wrinkled his nose, feeling a smile tug at his lips as well. “I know.”
His expression grew serious again as Shin sighed, and he dropped his hands so they were resting around his waist again. He felt both Shin’s hands come up to the front of his open button-up shirt, one playing with the fabric of black t-shirt underneath and the other playing with the buttons.
Aoi wrapped his arms around Shin’s small waist tightly, resting his cheek atop his head as he said, “Take me seriously for once, Shin. This is -“
Shin’s head jerked up suddenly, and Aoi’s eyes widened in surprise as he felt thin lips press against his own insistently, almost urgently. The hand that had been playing idly with the buttons of his shirt slid slowly up his chest and into his hair, and Aoi shivered at the touch, amazed that Shin could take control of things whenever he wanted, could let lose that hidden side that had always given him that subtle edge of mystery.
Aoi slid his hands down over Shin’s sides, gripping tightly so he could lift him up, keeping their lips’ heated contact. Shin’s legs automatically wrapped around his waist, his other hand looping around Aoi’s neck as he walked them over to the balcony’s edge, sitting Shin down on the railings.
“I won’t let you fall,” he whispered against the other’s lips, eyes closing from when he’d opened them to see where he was going.
He felt Shin’s smirk as he moved, pressed again his neck. “You have no idea how far I’ve fallen already, Aoi.”
The older guitarist shivered as Shin kissed at his neck lightly, almost shyly, curiously. He ran his hands up and down the other’s back, dipping underneath the definitely wrinkled material to feel hot skin, wanting to take it off and feel more but knowing he couldn’t.
He felt Shin tug at his hair as he bit down, contrasting to the light touches of before, and Aoi didn’t bother fighting the tiny groan of pleasure. He wanted Shin to mark him, and couldn’t care less who saw it the next day. Not everyone knew who would have given it to him, but he would know, and that was all that mattered to him.
Fingers curled in his hair, tugged his head forwards from where it had fallen back, and he gave a barely-audible sigh as their lips met again, molding together perfectly. Shin pressed himself hard against him, one hand entirely tangled in his hair and the other gripping the front of his t-shirt, hanging on for dear life.
Aoi held him tighter, heart racing in his chest as Shin broke away briefly, apparently just to look into his eyes for a moment, then dived in again. This time Shin opened up for him, letting Aoi willingly explore the well-known territory again. Aoi wanted to make Shin shiver the way he had been, and wanted to show him just how much he’d meant what he said.
He loved him because he was him, and there was nothing else to it.
But he pulled back for a second, just long enough to mumble, “We should probably go back.”
Shin kissed him again, not allowing him to say anything else as their lips crashed together and their hands lifted up t-shirts to reach more skin, only the knowledge that Shin was to perform soon holding them back.
“I know,” he said, and Aoi chased his lips.
Shin’s taste was driving him mad, just as it had always done, but now there were so many things running through his head, so many feelings wanting to leap out of him, so much he wanted to explain to the other, and wanted to just because he knew there was no reason, just because he knew he didn’t have to.
But - “We have to.”
Ai sighed, knowing Shin was right, and forced himself not to take those lips again. He took a deep breath, a slow smile spreading across his face as he leant his forehead against Shin’s.
“Sorry. I guess I’ll have to face your costume manager, huh?”
Shin blushed, looking down at his disheveled clothing as Aoi slowly withdrew his hands, resting them almost innocently at his sides, still holding him firm enough to prevent him from falling.
“I guess…” He raised his eyes to meet Aoi’s, and his blush darkened.
Aoi couldn’t help but release a breathy laugh at the adorably ruffled picture Shin painted, and ducked forward to kiss him on the forehead. He gripped him tightly, lifting him slowly and letting him put his feet back on the ground.
Shin almost reluctantly let his legs relax, sliding down onto his own two feet and attempting to straighten out his clothes. Aoi brushed his hands away, holding them down as he smiled, “Leave it to them. You’ve still got…” he checked his watch and raised his eyebrows, a little surprised himself. “Oh… six minutes?”
Shin’s eyes suddenly widened. “Six?!” He ducked around Aoi, wrenching the door open and reaching back to grab Aoi’s hand, tugging him through too. “Come on, we should’ve been down there ages ago.”
But Aoi resisted against the insistent tug and shook his head, smiling at Shin’s frustrated and confused look.
“Aoi, seriously.”
Aoi kept shaking his head. “No, you go. I think I’ll stay up here for a bit. You won’t be starting straight away, will you?”
Shin pursed his lips and stopped trying to drag Aoi through the door with him, dropping his hand and placing it instead on his hip. “Not now that I’m late for the first time in my life, Izumi will have to lecture me, again for the first time in my life, all causing Isshi’s pre-show monologue to run overtime.”
Aoi laughed as Shin frowned, and moved forwards to wrap him in a tight hug, which was returned with a defeated sigh.
“I mean it,” Aoi whispered. “I love you.”
Shin pulled back with a smile, already turning away to hurry down the stairs as he replied, “Love you too, dork.”
Aoi snorted, folding his arms as he watched his partner - love - race down the stairs two at a time.
But he knew he meant it when, after eventually following to watch the show he’d come here for, Shin’s eyes met his own and the tiny, hidden smile grew wide enough for everyone to notice.
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Comments, as always, are love XD
And again, I blame school for invading my life and taking up too much time. Hmph.