Letter to Shaun
actual email to best friend shaun (he calls me Clara):
so I'm here, bawling my eyes out, and snot is going everywhere. I'm stoned too, cause otherwise, I may just kill myself (drama queen, me)
First things first, I miss you. At first, it was fine...but everything started to go wrong, and I realized I dont have a best friend....I mean, I feel like for the first time in my life, I actually *need* help.....and your not here, and it makes me sad. Very very sad. I want you to know that I miss you, and you are loved....no matter how far away you are.
2) I'm kinda mad at you too....but not in a "blah blah blah I'm never talking to him again kinda way. But more like in a :" how can you leave and not say goodbye? like, this is the third time this has happened....and its just darn right ruuuude. But I love you all the same (but if I see you, I may punch you...)
3) Things are really good with Chris (greek god). We're a lot a like. Kinda like how you and I are, but...in some kinda...different strange. Like, you and I have a language, well Chris and I have one too. We tried playing rock paper scissors...and it didnt work, we kept picking hte same thing. We've been busking a few times together...and its been wild! Hes so craZy!! and hes leaving too. and that sucks too...cause now 2 of my really close friends are gone. Well, he hasnt left yet....but very soon. Hes going 8 1/2 hours away to learn French in the tiny town in Quebec. So, yah, another person I'll miss. Chris and I are pretty close. not *as* close as you and I....(OF COURSE Puh-Shaw!)...but pretty darn close.
4) I'm rambling, I'm sorry...
4.5) I'm off the medication from the Hippie. I went cold turkey (worst thing ever). And so...I'm kinda fucked, cause all the hormone brain doodads are all screwey. I'M A BUMBLEBEE!
5) The number will be on a separate post
5.5) I guess I'm a tad jealous that you have this perfect relationship...and its so great, and your happy. I mean, I wish I was you....and in that position for just 2 hours, and I can die happy.
6) I'm trying to get a job, (PT) or more students. I found a nice bachelor apt (cause no one wants to live with me, and I'm better off alone, although it doesnt seem that way right now. ANYWAYS! this apt, is 535$ included water hydro and heat. Its small....and I mean SMALL...but doable. And I can teach out of it. Noni has a bed to give me (cause I dont wanna take apart my bed)...and something else, the word escapes me....like cabniets but more like drawers? Iunno. This letter must be confusing.
***
The important thing I want you to PAY ATTENTION TO (doo dee doo dee dooooo) is, if I move out, hopefully for Aug 1st. Will you PLEASE...PLEASE PLEASE come stay with me, a week.....PLEASE? I'll be all alone...and we could really play ketchup (catch up). PLEAAASE? I wouldnt ask you if I didnt think I need you. Please think about it. It would mean the world.....more than the world. Think about it, I may never move out.
7) Jami mentioned coming to B ville for Canada day.
8) I have an online journal...I might give you the address so you can read and post and stuff....I just dont update it often. And In the back issues I may have said something pissy about you....(probably not, but it could happen)...so I wanna make sure theres nothing offensive (LOL>..)
I dunno if theres anything else. I'm really lonley as you can tell....so maybe thats why I'm crying, and all this and that. I mean...I never wanted to feel like this again...but, I guess I didnt try hard enough.
I love you!
CLara!
so I'm here, bawling my eyes out, and snot is going everywhere. I'm stoned too, cause otherwise, I may just kill myself (drama queen, me)
First things first, I miss you. At first, it was fine...but everything started to go wrong, and I realized I dont have a best friend....I mean, I feel like for the first time in my life, I actually *need* help.....and your not here, and it makes me sad. Very very sad. I want you to know that I miss you, and you are loved....no matter how far away you are.
2) I'm kinda mad at you too....but not in a "blah blah blah I'm never talking to him again kinda way. But more like in a :" how can you leave and not say goodbye? like, this is the third time this has happened....and its just darn right ruuuude. But I love you all the same (but if I see you, I may punch you...)
3) Things are really good with Chris (greek god). We're a lot a like. Kinda like how you and I are, but...in some kinda...different strange. Like, you and I have a language, well Chris and I have one too. We tried playing rock paper scissors...and it didnt work, we kept picking hte same thing. We've been busking a few times together...and its been wild! Hes so craZy!! and hes leaving too. and that sucks too...cause now 2 of my really close friends are gone. Well, he hasnt left yet....but very soon. Hes going 8 1/2 hours away to learn French in the tiny town in Quebec. So, yah, another person I'll miss. Chris and I are pretty close. not *as* close as you and I....(OF COURSE Puh-Shaw!)...but pretty darn close.
4) I'm rambling, I'm sorry...
4.5) I'm off the medication from the Hippie. I went cold turkey (worst thing ever). And so...I'm kinda fucked, cause all the hormone brain doodads are all screwey. I'M A BUMBLEBEE!
5) The number will be on a separate post
5.5) I guess I'm a tad jealous that you have this perfect relationship...and its so great, and your happy. I mean, I wish I was you....and in that position for just 2 hours, and I can die happy.
6) I'm trying to get a job, (PT) or more students. I found a nice bachelor apt (cause no one wants to live with me, and I'm better off alone, although it doesnt seem that way right now. ANYWAYS! this apt, is 535$ included water hydro and heat. Its small....and I mean SMALL...but doable. And I can teach out of it. Noni has a bed to give me (cause I dont wanna take apart my bed)...and something else, the word escapes me....like cabniets but more like drawers? Iunno. This letter must be confusing.
***
The important thing I want you to PAY ATTENTION TO (doo dee doo dee dooooo) is, if I move out, hopefully for Aug 1st. Will you PLEASE...PLEASE PLEASE come stay with me, a week.....PLEASE? I'll be all alone...and we could really play ketchup (catch up). PLEAAASE? I wouldnt ask you if I didnt think I need you. Please think about it. It would mean the world.....more than the world. Think about it, I may never move out.
7) Jami mentioned coming to B ville for Canada day.
8) I have an online journal...I might give you the address so you can read and post and stuff....I just dont update it often. And In the back issues I may have said something pissy about you....(probably not, but it could happen)...so I wanna make sure theres nothing offensive (LOL>..)
I dunno if theres anything else. I'm really lonley as you can tell....so maybe thats why I'm crying, and all this and that. I mean...I never wanted to feel like this again...but, I guess I didnt try hard enough.
I love you!
CLara!