Small World, way to damn small.
So a pretty chill day.
I woke up at 11, feeling very lazy. sat on the internet for about 2 hours. I went for a walk/run. shower, homework, knitting. you know that old chestnut.
The post-worthy stuff happened at dinner. I went to res (dining hall) with my friend cliff. We were finding a table and i glance and see my friend sara's roommate, emily. I saw this guy there. He looked very familiar. It then hit me, it was Mike, one of the guys i went to high school with. i searched my brain for memories and realized that emily was "em" the girl that mike has been dating for 6 years. He always mentioned her. The world seems to get smaller and smaller every day. I don't think mike recognized me though, i have changed a bit since junior year of high school. (oh, he was also the best friend of one of the guys i liked in high school)
i sort of want to talk to him. i want him to see that i am a different person. not to show him up, he was my friend, but to, idk just show him that i am different. i don 't really know where i am going with this.
I also re-read some of my old livejournal posts. I was so amused by myself and how naive i was. in some ways i am still that same naive girl but in so many other ways i am so completely different. I know there are still some things i need to work on but i am a pretty different person from the awkward high school girl. I know that i still need to stand up for myself, take action with my own love life, stop getting heartbroken so easily, gain more self control and follow through, and stop fishing for answers and comments i want to hear (which i don't do that often anymore, thank god it pisses me off that i used to do it and that i sometimes do it).
I am a stronger person than i was. It has taken a lot of heartbreak and sadness but i am a stronger girl than i was in high school.
for instance, i have not cried once over my current crush. Not once. i'm also not going to hold out for him, yeah i like him and he is incredibly adorable and sweet but i am not going to be torn up over the fact that he doesn't like me. I'm done complaining about my life, i live a blessed existence and if i have hard times, which everyone does, i cant stew in them. i look at the bright side of life and so what if i am awkward sometimes and ramble. i'm pretty awesome usually. i have plenty of people who care about me in my life and some awesome guy is going to come along, when, i have no clue, but it is going to happen.
in a way i need to thank my superheroes. they have encouraged me so much. telling me that i am "better than everyone else" and while i don't necessarily think that, i do think that i am pretty amazing and i don't have the issues that some other people have. yeah, i have my issues, i hate my body and constantly imagine myself as someone else, i tend to live via my day dreams, i need to work on my self esteem/self worth/loving myself and sustaining those positive feelings, my focus, improving my work ethic, and some other things. but i know that i am awesome and while i have some off days i am starting to have more positive days than those off ones. I really think i have these boys to thank. <3
I woke up at 11, feeling very lazy. sat on the internet for about 2 hours. I went for a walk/run. shower, homework, knitting. you know that old chestnut.
The post-worthy stuff happened at dinner. I went to res (dining hall) with my friend cliff. We were finding a table and i glance and see my friend sara's roommate, emily. I saw this guy there. He looked very familiar. It then hit me, it was Mike, one of the guys i went to high school with. i searched my brain for memories and realized that emily was "em" the girl that mike has been dating for 6 years. He always mentioned her. The world seems to get smaller and smaller every day. I don't think mike recognized me though, i have changed a bit since junior year of high school. (oh, he was also the best friend of one of the guys i liked in high school)
i sort of want to talk to him. i want him to see that i am a different person. not to show him up, he was my friend, but to, idk just show him that i am different. i don 't really know where i am going with this.
I also re-read some of my old livejournal posts. I was so amused by myself and how naive i was. in some ways i am still that same naive girl but in so many other ways i am so completely different. I know there are still some things i need to work on but i am a pretty different person from the awkward high school girl. I know that i still need to stand up for myself, take action with my own love life, stop getting heartbroken so easily, gain more self control and follow through, and stop fishing for answers and comments i want to hear (which i don't do that often anymore, thank god it pisses me off that i used to do it and that i sometimes do it).
I am a stronger person than i was. It has taken a lot of heartbreak and sadness but i am a stronger girl than i was in high school.
for instance, i have not cried once over my current crush. Not once. i'm also not going to hold out for him, yeah i like him and he is incredibly adorable and sweet but i am not going to be torn up over the fact that he doesn't like me. I'm done complaining about my life, i live a blessed existence and if i have hard times, which everyone does, i cant stew in them. i look at the bright side of life and so what if i am awkward sometimes and ramble. i'm pretty awesome usually. i have plenty of people who care about me in my life and some awesome guy is going to come along, when, i have no clue, but it is going to happen.
in a way i need to thank my superheroes. they have encouraged me so much. telling me that i am "better than everyone else" and while i don't necessarily think that, i do think that i am pretty amazing and i don't have the issues that some other people have. yeah, i have my issues, i hate my body and constantly imagine myself as someone else, i tend to live via my day dreams, i need to work on my self esteem/self worth/loving myself and sustaining those positive feelings, my focus, improving my work ethic, and some other things. but i know that i am awesome and while i have some off days i am starting to have more positive days than those off ones. I really think i have these boys to thank. <3