I don't understand
You know that horrible stomach cramp you get when you're on period? That horrible stomachache that makes you just want to kill someone or curl up and die? I suffered them a lot, and worse, whenever my period comes, there'll be pain in my stomach, head, and left chest. Yesterday was the first day of my period and at the same time, I have two finals. I held the pain for almost four hours and at that time, I really wished my darling was there with me. I really really wanted to contact him but he also had two finals that day. Because I didn't want to make him worried and differ his attention from test, I didn't contact him. Last night I finally told him about my horrible stomachache and he asked me why I didn't tell him. I said I didn't want to bother him and he said he hated me. He hasn't reply to my message ever since. I know he was worried and I'm sorry, but... I don't want to be a burden to him. There was also time when he made me worried but I never said I hate him...I don't understand. I'm scared, I don't know what to feel. I don't want to lost him.
Lately, people had been under wrong impression that I'm going out with my other friend because we're always together everywhere. I hate it. I wish it was my darling, not my friend. I wish I can walk together with him but...I don't know why I can't...because our different schedule? Because I don't want to burden him with my selfish wish?
I had tried apologizing but he didn't answer at all. I'm frustrated, it hurts so much because I love him and I don't want him to leave me alone. I don't understand.