Pictures! Oh yeah, and a little more Blowing Smoke.

[tsukino_akume]

Whee! I have pictures! ^_^

This is an attempt at Prescott, Kimberly's pet bird in Fade to Darkness (and Tommy's rival). He's not quite right; his leg and talons should be a lot thicker, but it's awkward to try and fit a falcon's leg on a pheasant's body. The beak is right, though. Isn't he pretty?

http://pics.livejournal.com/tsukino_akume/pic/

Comments

[germankitty]

*hugs*

[tsukino_akume]

-Hugs back- Thanks for all of you support. It really has helped me deal with everything. ♥

[hagar_972]

Y'know, I don't believe in the "I have to forgive them" mentality. I believe that, if an adult person in full posession of their mental faculties has repeatedly failed to show any care for accomodating you and your emotional needs, there's really no reason for you to try and be in any way or means considerate towards them.

Measure and perspective should be taken into account, of course, but the principle is that forgiveness is not a value in and of itself. Similarly, putting others' emotional and other needs in front of yours is not a value and, in some situations, is sheer idiocy.

The way you describe it, some people in your blood family wore out their welcome, so to speak. As for others - well. At least with your father - if your mother is on her way to mend (or he believes her to be so), if he's done nothing more harmful then to "forget" the price you paid for supporting him, maybe there's something there to save yet.

There'ss be another comment, I need to move now. Take care.

[tsukino_akume]

I learned about forgiving from my grandmother; she was a very classy lady, and she tried to teach me to always seek the best in people. Out of respect for her and the amazing person she was, I try to remember that not everything is as black and white as it may seem from my side. That's why I tried so hard to forgive my mother, because again, 'She's crazy, and we just have to learn to live with that.' Sadly, she has most certainly 'worn out her welcome'.

I think my greatest disappointment is that everyone has seemingly jumped to her side. But I've already come to the conclusion through my best friend's support that if they don't want to make the effort, that's on them. I haven't shut them out, and I didn't do anything wrong by trying to talk. As much as I wish it wouldn't be true, at this point any chance of keeping a relationship with my dad is up to him.

[hagar_972]

People tend to stick for the person who appears weaker. You're younger (and her daughter) but an adult and she's "mad" (mother thing offset by your age), and that makes her the seemingly weaker and the one more attractive for pity.

Yes, it's unfair; yes, it's lousy; and - thankfully - not everyone are like that. But too many.

That grey territory between the black and white of forgivness and rejection is a real murky place. It's also a somewhat a matter of semantics. When I say "forgive", I mean not only understanding the other person's POV but also accepting the rightness of it. "Accepting", on the other hand, is a word I use to mean just that - "that's who they are and I can't change it; that's what they did and I get where they're coming from and why but I still think they're wrong."

The way I see it, demanding forgiveness (even if you're the one demanding it of yourself, for others), is a terrible thing. True foregiveness is not a right, or at least not a so-called "natural" one; it's an earned thing. Acceptance in the limited

-More than slightly stunned-

[tsukino_akume]

-Slightly teary-eyed- No one has ever called me a fighter before. Usually I'm considered very weak, because I'm emotional and I struggle to hide it - my family never believed in outwardly showing a lot of emotion. It means a great deal to me to hear that. Thank you for all your understanding and support; it would have been a lot harder to be at this point without you.

I am at a total loss for words.

[lunaria_kitty]

First off, as I already said, I *love* the Prescott picture. He's so pretty and I love him in FtD. And wow, that uniform almost looks natural on Tommy. Me likey. :)

::hugs:: I really don't know what to say here. You've had it really rough and no one as young as you should have to go through all that. You've had enough for a whole lifetime's worth. But you are so strong, you've come this far nearly all on your own. You're brave for sticking to what you believe in and I admire you for it.

I'm so glad that you did post this, and if it was even possible, you mean so much more to me now. I love you and I'm always here for you and I hope that you'll never forget that.

::hugs:: ♥

Re: I am at a total loss for words.

[tsukino_akume]

-Laughs- Tommy does look shockingly good in Cruger's uniform, doesn't he? That highly amused me.

-Squeezes tight- I'll never forget that. You'd better not forget that you've always got me now, too. You're one of the reasons I was able to post this and laugh at it. I'm past the point of tears now; it's just life.

Thank you for reminding me that I'm doing better even when it's hard to remember that sometimes. ♥♥

[cmar_wingnut]

Wow, you've been through an awful lot, and there's not much I can say to help. Even though you're done with your family at this point, I can't help hoping someone in it ends up coming through for you.

You *are* helping.

[tsukino_akume]

I do hope that someone does come through for me after all, but I've reached the point that trying to wait for it just hurts more. I've decided to stand my my friend's suggestion: when they're ready to talk, they know how to contact me.

-Hugs tight- You've helped just by taking the time to read my rantings and answer them. It's a feeling of support I never thought I'd get from this just as much as I never expected the outcome. I can never thank you enough just for being here. That's part of what reminds me to be strong, and that I wasn't wrong to feel the way I do. I wouldn't be doing as well as I am now without you.

Re: You *are* helping.

[cmar_wingnut]

Now I'm getting warm fuzzies myself... ♥

[rosabelle]

::hugs::

I don't even know what to say this time, except that I know that you're doing the right thing for yourself, and I hope so much that things get better for you. ♥ I love you.