The Tale of the Disastrous EEG
I had an EEG scheduled today.
First of all, I’ve now learned that there are two kinds of EEG tests. The first one I had a few years ago was an overnight stay in this office building, where I got to bring my own pjs and let them stick wires all over my head before being sent to bed, and got woken up every hour to be told to stop rolling over. (It was actually kinda fun. ^_^) The one I had today involved laying on a bed for an hour with more wires stuck to my head, and having to do things that might cause a seizure like blinking a lot, hyperventilating, and having blinking lights flashed above my head. Apparently I fell asleep during the ‘lay still and quiet’ part, but I was assured it wasn’t a big deal.
But that’s not why this turned out to be a surprisingly awesome day.
I arrived at the ER to check in at 4:55, the way I’d been told, and spent a few minutes tracking someone down to admit me. I assured her my appointment was at 5:30, because that was when it had been set up. She was pleasant and nice, and teased me for chewing on a fingernail while I was zoning out trying to stay awake, because I’d been up for almost fifteen hours by that point, as I wasn’t allowed to sleep before the test. Then she led me to the elevators, told me to go up to the second floor, go left, and there would be someone there to meet me.
Forty-five minutes later, I finally went back down to the ER to ask if I’d been in the wrong waiting room or something, because no one was there.
The ER lady was horrified and called upstairs *again* to let them know I was there, and sent me back up. I went back to the waiting room, paced a little, trying to stay awake, and thought about just curling up on the floor and going to sleep. After another fifteen minutes and a phone call to an answering machine that informed me the sleep lab was open in another hour, I went back down again.
By this point, the two ER ladies were getting upset on my behalf. The one that had checked me in called again, and swore that someone would be with me soon, as they were with a patient. She told me to go back to the waiting room and turn on the TV really loud to help keep myself awake.
So I did. I debated watching the news in Spanish for a moment (a fun habit I learned while living in SoCal), and ended up on HGTV. I watched maybe five to ten minutes of some show where they were redoing somebody’s yard. At this point I was so tired that I realized everything they said or did was starting to look/sound like porn. I don’t know if that was coincidence or exhaustion talking, but I started to send a text message to my brother about it, because I figured if nothing else he’d be amused by my porn on the brain.
I ended up changing my mind and wandering down one of the halls a little, once again thinking maybe I was in the wrong waiting room. Also thinking that movement was good, because it meant I wasn’t sleeping. I walked past someone just leaving one of the ICU areas. I must have looked *really* out of it, because he actually stopped and did a double-take when he saw me, before cautiously asking if he could help me find something. I thought about it for a moment, and explained that I was supposed to be here for an EEG, but I’d been waiting for an hour and couldn’t seem to find anybody. He led me into the waiting room he’d just left and talked to one of *their* secretaries, who tried to find the number for the EEG department. They made calls, got the same message I’d heard about not being open for another hour, and finally told me to go back to the waiting room I’d been in and assured they’d find somebody for me.
Upon returning to the waiting room, my cell rang with a call from my lab technician, who was apparently wandering around looking for *me*. I told her where I was, and she promised she was on her way. Then the helpful guy from ICU came back and told me I was actually on the wrong floor - EEG is on the *fourth* floor, not second. So he showed me the elevator and said that there was a nurses’ station when I got off that could direct me to where I was supposed to be. I thought briefly about the missing lab technician, but figured okay, sure. Went up to fourth floor, found the nurses’ station, and was directed to the end of the hall, where sure enough, there was a room labeled ‘EEG’ and a waiting room next to it. A nice, dark waiting room with a really big comfy-looking chair and a bench just big enough to curl up on.
My phone rang again. Apparently my lab technician was now in the place I had just left, *still* frantically searching for me, and told me to stay there, she was on her way right now. I tried to ignore the nice big comfy chair by pacing the hall instead, which is how I discovered that I was so tired I couldn’t really walk in a straight line anymore. It was kind of fun trying to.
Low and behold, on yet another turn to pace the floor, I saw a woman hurrying in my direction with a look of blatant relief on her face. The moment she got close enough, she was gushing about how she’d been searching everywhere for me, and she’d been worried I’d finally passed out somewhere from exhaustion. Apparently I *had* been in the wrong waiting room - but on the right floor. I explained about my disastrous attempts to find her, and she began to apologize profusely, actually stopping to give me a hug.
By that point, the whole thing was so ridiculous I just laughed and told her it was okay. I may possibly have also been too tired to find the energy to be angry about it. But I’m still giggling as I write this, so I think it was just ridiculously funny.
We chatted as she set me up for my test, about the struggle with getting me there and other things. It turned out she had my appointment set for 6:00, not 5:30, which was the other issue with figuring out the whole mess of where I was and when. She continued to apologize, but I was still laughing, because at that point I figured it’s just another part of the insanity that is my life. She had a lovely Irish accent that was pleasant to listen to, although I’m realizing now I never got her name and I wish I had. Something about her reminded me of starandrea for some reason, and I’m not sure why. For one thing, Stars doesn’t have an Irish accent as far as I know.
So, we did my test. I dozed off briefly. And when it was finished, she poured alcohol on my head to help get the wire thingies out (Yeah, THAT was a wake-up call. -Shivers-) and gave me a comb dipped in alcohol to help straighten out my hair a bit so I wouldn’t look so much like the Bride of Frankenstein, trying to offer me something to drink all the while. At some point it had come up that I was going to have to walk home after this - which was only about two to three blocks away - and she suggested I stop by the cafeteria for breakfast, because Thursday is waffle day, and their cafeteria makes good waffles.
I thought that sounded like a pretty good idea, and breakfast might help for the long walk home. So she led me back to the elevators, to the front desk to try and find a bus schedule to make sure I wouldn’t have to walk, and all the way down to the cafeteria to introduce me to one of the workers on the register and tell them that I was her friend and she was buying me breakfast because I’d had a bad time with administration. For the record I *did* try to protest it wasn’t necessary, but she was a very determined woman, and the cafeteria lady didn’t seem at all surprised, assuring me that she’s just like this. The next thing I knew I was being placed in line and told to order whatever I wanted, and she’d be right back with her wallet.
To help clarify how out of it I was by now, after being awake for going on seventeen hours, I was staring blankly at the griddle as the lady on the serving line made me a waffle, thinking about how it reminded me of working fire crew, but they had more work space. (This is another long story, involving the worst job I have EVER done.)
By the time the lab technician returned, I had a waffle, eggs, hashbrowns, and she helped me get a little container of maple syrup. Which, thanks to the awesome cafeteria lady on register, ended up being totally free. She insisted it was customer service. ♥
So, with breakfast in hand, we passed the front desk again, who *had* managed to find me a bus schedule. Unfortunately the bus wouldn’t be there for another half an hour, but by now the lab technician was insisting that she’d just give me a ride home, since I only lived a couple blocks away and she didn’t have another patient until 10:00 anyway. Once again, I tried to protest that it wasn’t necessary, but she was adamant. She also seemed worried that I’d be attacked or something on my way. (After spending six months living out of my car in Anaheim, this made me giggle lots.)
In the end, I was home by 9:00, with free breakfast and a free ride home from an awesome lab technician whose name I still don’t know. I managed to call Brother to let him know I was home - he told me I suck because I was giggling about my free breakfast - and sat down to eat. I took a long shower to wash the leftover gel still gunked up in my hair, and finally crashed sometime around 10:00 or so.
I slept until 7:30.
Now I'm well-rested, have very clean hair, a slice of double-chocolate cake with mint frosting, and I'm very amused. And totally still giggling.
Thank you, awesome nameless lab technician. You totally made my day. ♥
First of all, I’ve now learned that there are two kinds of EEG tests. The first one I had a few years ago was an overnight stay in this office building, where I got to bring my own pjs and let them stick wires all over my head before being sent to bed, and got woken up every hour to be told to stop rolling over. (It was actually kinda fun. ^_^) The one I had today involved laying on a bed for an hour with more wires stuck to my head, and having to do things that might cause a seizure like blinking a lot, hyperventilating, and having blinking lights flashed above my head. Apparently I fell asleep during the ‘lay still and quiet’ part, but I was assured it wasn’t a big deal.
But that’s not why this turned out to be a surprisingly awesome day.
I arrived at the ER to check in at 4:55, the way I’d been told, and spent a few minutes tracking someone down to admit me. I assured her my appointment was at 5:30, because that was when it had been set up. She was pleasant and nice, and teased me for chewing on a fingernail while I was zoning out trying to stay awake, because I’d been up for almost fifteen hours by that point, as I wasn’t allowed to sleep before the test. Then she led me to the elevators, told me to go up to the second floor, go left, and there would be someone there to meet me.
Forty-five minutes later, I finally went back down to the ER to ask if I’d been in the wrong waiting room or something, because no one was there.
The ER lady was horrified and called upstairs *again* to let them know I was there, and sent me back up. I went back to the waiting room, paced a little, trying to stay awake, and thought about just curling up on the floor and going to sleep. After another fifteen minutes and a phone call to an answering machine that informed me the sleep lab was open in another hour, I went back down again.
By this point, the two ER ladies were getting upset on my behalf. The one that had checked me in called again, and swore that someone would be with me soon, as they were with a patient. She told me to go back to the waiting room and turn on the TV really loud to help keep myself awake.
So I did. I debated watching the news in Spanish for a moment (a fun habit I learned while living in SoCal), and ended up on HGTV. I watched maybe five to ten minutes of some show where they were redoing somebody’s yard. At this point I was so tired that I realized everything they said or did was starting to look/sound like porn. I don’t know if that was coincidence or exhaustion talking, but I started to send a text message to my brother about it, because I figured if nothing else he’d be amused by my porn on the brain.
I ended up changing my mind and wandering down one of the halls a little, once again thinking maybe I was in the wrong waiting room. Also thinking that movement was good, because it meant I wasn’t sleeping. I walked past someone just leaving one of the ICU areas. I must have looked *really* out of it, because he actually stopped and did a double-take when he saw me, before cautiously asking if he could help me find something. I thought about it for a moment, and explained that I was supposed to be here for an EEG, but I’d been waiting for an hour and couldn’t seem to find anybody. He led me into the waiting room he’d just left and talked to one of *their* secretaries, who tried to find the number for the EEG department. They made calls, got the same message I’d heard about not being open for another hour, and finally told me to go back to the waiting room I’d been in and assured they’d find somebody for me.
Upon returning to the waiting room, my cell rang with a call from my lab technician, who was apparently wandering around looking for *me*. I told her where I was, and she promised she was on her way. Then the helpful guy from ICU came back and told me I was actually on the wrong floor - EEG is on the *fourth* floor, not second. So he showed me the elevator and said that there was a nurses’ station when I got off that could direct me to where I was supposed to be. I thought briefly about the missing lab technician, but figured okay, sure. Went up to fourth floor, found the nurses’ station, and was directed to the end of the hall, where sure enough, there was a room labeled ‘EEG’ and a waiting room next to it. A nice, dark waiting room with a really big comfy-looking chair and a bench just big enough to curl up on.
My phone rang again. Apparently my lab technician was now in the place I had just left, *still* frantically searching for me, and told me to stay there, she was on her way right now. I tried to ignore the nice big comfy chair by pacing the hall instead, which is how I discovered that I was so tired I couldn’t really walk in a straight line anymore. It was kind of fun trying to.
Low and behold, on yet another turn to pace the floor, I saw a woman hurrying in my direction with a look of blatant relief on her face. The moment she got close enough, she was gushing about how she’d been searching everywhere for me, and she’d been worried I’d finally passed out somewhere from exhaustion. Apparently I *had* been in the wrong waiting room - but on the right floor. I explained about my disastrous attempts to find her, and she began to apologize profusely, actually stopping to give me a hug.
By that point, the whole thing was so ridiculous I just laughed and told her it was okay. I may possibly have also been too tired to find the energy to be angry about it. But I’m still giggling as I write this, so I think it was just ridiculously funny.
We chatted as she set me up for my test, about the struggle with getting me there and other things. It turned out she had my appointment set for 6:00, not 5:30, which was the other issue with figuring out the whole mess of where I was and when. She continued to apologize, but I was still laughing, because at that point I figured it’s just another part of the insanity that is my life. She had a lovely Irish accent that was pleasant to listen to, although I’m realizing now I never got her name and I wish I had. Something about her reminded me of starandrea for some reason, and I’m not sure why. For one thing, Stars doesn’t have an Irish accent as far as I know.
So, we did my test. I dozed off briefly. And when it was finished, she poured alcohol on my head to help get the wire thingies out (Yeah, THAT was a wake-up call. -Shivers-) and gave me a comb dipped in alcohol to help straighten out my hair a bit so I wouldn’t look so much like the Bride of Frankenstein, trying to offer me something to drink all the while. At some point it had come up that I was going to have to walk home after this - which was only about two to three blocks away - and she suggested I stop by the cafeteria for breakfast, because Thursday is waffle day, and their cafeteria makes good waffles.
I thought that sounded like a pretty good idea, and breakfast might help for the long walk home. So she led me back to the elevators, to the front desk to try and find a bus schedule to make sure I wouldn’t have to walk, and all the way down to the cafeteria to introduce me to one of the workers on the register and tell them that I was her friend and she was buying me breakfast because I’d had a bad time with administration. For the record I *did* try to protest it wasn’t necessary, but she was a very determined woman, and the cafeteria lady didn’t seem at all surprised, assuring me that she’s just like this. The next thing I knew I was being placed in line and told to order whatever I wanted, and she’d be right back with her wallet.
To help clarify how out of it I was by now, after being awake for going on seventeen hours, I was staring blankly at the griddle as the lady on the serving line made me a waffle, thinking about how it reminded me of working fire crew, but they had more work space. (This is another long story, involving the worst job I have EVER done.)
By the time the lab technician returned, I had a waffle, eggs, hashbrowns, and she helped me get a little container of maple syrup. Which, thanks to the awesome cafeteria lady on register, ended up being totally free. She insisted it was customer service. ♥
So, with breakfast in hand, we passed the front desk again, who *had* managed to find me a bus schedule. Unfortunately the bus wouldn’t be there for another half an hour, but by now the lab technician was insisting that she’d just give me a ride home, since I only lived a couple blocks away and she didn’t have another patient until 10:00 anyway. Once again, I tried to protest that it wasn’t necessary, but she was adamant. She also seemed worried that I’d be attacked or something on my way. (After spending six months living out of my car in Anaheim, this made me giggle lots.)
In the end, I was home by 9:00, with free breakfast and a free ride home from an awesome lab technician whose name I still don’t know. I managed to call Brother to let him know I was home - he told me I suck because I was giggling about my free breakfast - and sat down to eat. I took a long shower to wash the leftover gel still gunked up in my hair, and finally crashed sometime around 10:00 or so.
I slept until 7:30.
Now I'm well-rested, have very clean hair, a slice of double-chocolate cake with mint frosting, and I'm very amused. And totally still giggling.
Thank you, awesome nameless lab technician. You totally made my day. ♥