Remember when I said they all have issues...?
Yeah. I couldn't choose just one, so this is what you have.
Story: The Disillusion Drabbles
Challenge: Issues
Canon: You better believe it!
Rating: PG-13 for Death By Insanity.
Genre: Angst/Oddness
Words: 100 words/drabble x 15 drabbles = 1500 words.
Summary: Fifteen characters, fifteen problems. Sanity is for the weak.
The Disillusion Drabbles
I.
Abandonment
When Yukito said goodbye and walked away, Touya knew. He hadn't wanted to believe it, had tried to convince himself it wasn't so.
But it was. Everyone left him eventually.
His mother; dead, even her ghost gone. His father; distanced without meaning to be. Kaho, his first love; halfway around the world with someone else. His sister; not his to protect anymore. Yukito, his one true love; leaving without looking back.
They would all leave. He wasn't worth staying for.
Touya couldn't care anymore. Each had taken a piece of himself; he had nothing left.
He was all alone...forever.
II.
Regression
It's not that she's unhappy; far from it. She's as happy as anyone can ever hope to be.
It's just...she isn't sure if she's as happy as she hopes to be. It's just...she isn't sure if the sixteen-year-old girl is happy under the childish ponytails and laughter. It's just...she isn't sure if this is what she meant when she said she wanted to be young forever.
It's just...she isn't sure.
So she retreats to a time when she was sure, when the world was waiting just for her, when everything really would be all right.
She isn't sure…but she pretends.
III.
Suppression
Tomoyo is a good girl. It's all she's ever been. So she practices her posture, manners, and diction. She can play the piano, sing, embroider, converse with anyone; she can do everything a young lady is supposed to be proficient at.
She can do everything except lose her temper.
There is a room in her house that looks like a linen closet until you press the button. Then it is a room full of piñatas.
And, conveniently, a baseball bat.
Tomoyo spends the afternoon there and leaves, a perfect young lady.
Only the smashed piñatas and crumpled bat say otherwise.
IV.
Identity
I don't know who I am.
I know who they say I am; Yukito-kun, Tsukishiro-san, Yuki. I would give anything to believe them. But how can I? How can you believe people who speak to echoes?
I am only an echo in Yue’s mind. How can an echo speak or be spoken to?
I'm going away. I'm sorry, Sakura-chan, To-ya, everyone. I can't stay. I want to stay, want to stay with you, To-ya, more than anything, but I can't. I have to go, I don't know where.
Somewhere I can be no more than an echo on the breeze.
V.
Perfection
Certain things are expected of Syaoran. He is expected to be the perfect fighter. He is expected to be the perfect sorcerer. He is expected to be perfect.
Everyone expects this of him, and so he trains, studies, and practices, until he is perfect. He can fight anyone and win. He can do anything, because he is perfect.
Then he travels, and isn't perfect anymore. A girl is, who wins without fighting, who only has to try. And he realizes:
He works to be perfect. She simply is.
But still he tries, chasing perfection that is forever beyond his reach.
VI.
Inferiority
She wasn't good enough. She wasn't good enough, and it haunts her dreams. She wasn't good enough, and it haunts her waking moments. She wasn't good enough.
Meiling wasn't good enough, was never good enough, never will be good enough for anyone. she couldn't do magic; not good enough for her parents. She got beaten; not good enough for her teachers. She wasn't Sakura; not good enough for her beloved.
She will never be good enough. She will never have magic, never be unbeatable, never be Sakura. Never have a chance.
Meiling will never be good enough, and it hurts.
VII.
Existence
Do you exist? What an odd question to ask. If you don't exist, who is asking? If you do, why ask?
Of course, you are a special case. Not everyone has the dubious honor of being half of the greatest sorcerer ever. But that's the problem, isn't it? Where does he end; where do you begin? Is there a you at all?
Someone lives in this house. Someone has two guardians who are their own people. Someone has a wonderful girlfriend who understands. Is that you? Or a reflection?
Maybe both, maybe neither. It will have to do, for now.
VIII.
Prescience
She will know what is to happen. She will always know, and it will always happen.
She will know when love will fade. She will know when friends will die. She will suffer loss beforehand, and winning will have been robbed of sweetness. She will know this, before anything.
She will rage against the coils of future that bind her. She will wish for death, and know it will not come. She will wish for madness, and know she will be sane. She will be alone.
She will always know. It will be her gift; it will be her curse.
IX.
Depression
Yue had fallen a long time ago. He had become nothing, and found that nothing was worse than anything he could ever have imagined.
He did what he had to do. He said the words he ought to say. He pretended not to be dying inside. Always dying, never dead. Always falling, never landing. He couldn't stop, no more could he change.
He did not want to live. He did anyway. He wanted things to be the way they had been. They weren't anyway. He couldn't have what he most wanted.
Yue had fallen and would never hit the ground.
X.
Mania
Bounce, bounce, bounce out of bed. Jump into uniform, hop downstairs. Twitch through breakfast, skitter out the door. Run down the road, flounce through the halls. Sprawl in your seat, scuffle through papers. Wave at Touya, smirk at Yue's mask.
'Yes, sensei.' 'No, sensei.' 'Two x squared, sensei.' Giggle to yourself, smile to the teacher. Lunchtime!
Tackle Touya, gobble lunch. Back to the classroom before the bell rings. 'Yes, sensei.' 'No, sensei.' 'Pluperfect tense, sensei.'
Skibble home, dance up stairs. Dinner, candy, time for bed. Say your prayers, turn out the light.
And don't slow down, or else you fall.
XI.
Retreat
I don't like people. People don't like me; I don't like people. I would rather have a good book any day. Books don't judge. Books don't point and laugh. In books, I'm nothing out of the ordinary.
Definitely preferable to people.
Eriol occasionally has people to visit. When they aren't magicians, I stay away. Often I stay away if they are magicians, as well.
I don't like people. I like solitude. When you're alone, you don't have to worry about what anyone says, or does, because there's only you. Only you.
I don't like people. But sometimes...I wish I did.
XII.
Flamboyance
Kero loves attention. He drinks it in like the sunlight that is his power, like the cakes he gobbles at every opportunity. He lives for the spotlight, and adjusts himself accordingly.
He laughs louder, brags more, makes his every gesture say, 'See me!' The world is his for the taking, and he amazes it instead.
Kero has everyone he needs. His brother, his Mistress, her family...so what if the Chinese brat still glares at him? He doesn't matter.
But then, neither does Kero. And in the middle of the night, hidden at last from the world, he knows it, too.
XIII.
Escape
Naoko: books.
Books: Naoko.
That's what everyone knows about her.
Outside: Wars, tears, fear, hate, pain, death, pettiness.
Inside: Dreams, dances, swords, sorcery, light, shadow, magnificence.
That's what she knows about books.
Them: Friends, enemies, allies, whatever you need them to be.
You: The hero of your story, the one who can make a difference.
That's what books know about everyone.
She likes inside better than outside. Who wouldn't? Inside, you can't hurt, bleed, or die for real. Just turning the pages back makes it all better. She prefers to read than to live, because reading is life without death.
XIV.
Misdirection
Magicians come in all guises, but still only one. Just one trick, all they need. Now you see me, now you don't.
The lies accumulate behind the mask, inside the gloves. Rabbits, doves, flowers; now you see them, now you don't.
He, a magician, makes people vanish. Call it sleight-of-hand or misdirection, it remains that he, with words, works magic. Like all great magicians, he performs alone. Now you see him, now you don't.
And now he is in the labyrinth of words, and there is no departing, not even through an unbelievable story. Then you saw him...now you don't.
XV.
Violence
No one knew what went on in her head at night. No one knew she screamed into her pillow rather than break the earth.
She felt the anger bubbling inside her, and so she tried to force it away. She tried releasing it slowly. She still felt it, deep inside.
She screamed alone; out in the world she was cheerful. There was no anger.
Except for one person she constantly smacked, strangled, dragged away, because by that time she couldn’t feel anything else.
Chiharu used to be so nice, everyone said. What happened? They never knew; she was always angry.
These probably need to be reordered before I post them to ff.net. If you couldn't tell, it's Touya-Sakura-Tomoyo-Yukito-Syaoran-Meiling-Eriol-Kaho-Yue-Ruby-Spinel-Kero-Naoko-Yamazaki-Chiharu. Yeah. I had way too many ideas, so I used them all.
I used three different persons (1st, 2nd, 3rd), three tenses (past, present, future), and three stints at writing them (Touya, Sakura-Kero, Naoko-Chiharu). Oddly, the longest one was easiest.
Hardest to Cut: Misdirection, which I first wrote at 173 words. It's a shell of its former self.
Easiest to Cut: Retreat, which came out to 100 words at the first go.
My Favorite Issues: Abandonment, Suppression, and Prescience.
My Least Favorite Issue: Retreat and Escape, which are too similar.
Blame Ray Bradbury, Neil Gaiman (especially for Misdirection), the Faerie Puck on ff.net (for Mania), and too many other people to count.
Feed the ravening review monster? Question: does anyone have suggestions for how to re-order these?
Story: The Disillusion Drabbles
Challenge: Issues
Canon: You better believe it!
Rating: PG-13 for Death By Insanity.
Genre: Angst/Oddness
Words: 100 words/drabble x 15 drabbles = 1500 words.
Summary: Fifteen characters, fifteen problems. Sanity is for the weak.
The Disillusion Drabbles
I.
Abandonment
When Yukito said goodbye and walked away, Touya knew. He hadn't wanted to believe it, had tried to convince himself it wasn't so.
But it was. Everyone left him eventually.
His mother; dead, even her ghost gone. His father; distanced without meaning to be. Kaho, his first love; halfway around the world with someone else. His sister; not his to protect anymore. Yukito, his one true love; leaving without looking back.
They would all leave. He wasn't worth staying for.
Touya couldn't care anymore. Each had taken a piece of himself; he had nothing left.
He was all alone...forever.
II.
Regression
It's not that she's unhappy; far from it. She's as happy as anyone can ever hope to be.
It's just...she isn't sure if she's as happy as she hopes to be. It's just...she isn't sure if the sixteen-year-old girl is happy under the childish ponytails and laughter. It's just...she isn't sure if this is what she meant when she said she wanted to be young forever.
It's just...she isn't sure.
So she retreats to a time when she was sure, when the world was waiting just for her, when everything really would be all right.
She isn't sure…but she pretends.
III.
Suppression
Tomoyo is a good girl. It's all she's ever been. So she practices her posture, manners, and diction. She can play the piano, sing, embroider, converse with anyone; she can do everything a young lady is supposed to be proficient at.
She can do everything except lose her temper.
There is a room in her house that looks like a linen closet until you press the button. Then it is a room full of piñatas.
And, conveniently, a baseball bat.
Tomoyo spends the afternoon there and leaves, a perfect young lady.
Only the smashed piñatas and crumpled bat say otherwise.
IV.
Identity
I don't know who I am.
I know who they say I am; Yukito-kun, Tsukishiro-san, Yuki. I would give anything to believe them. But how can I? How can you believe people who speak to echoes?
I am only an echo in Yue’s mind. How can an echo speak or be spoken to?
I'm going away. I'm sorry, Sakura-chan, To-ya, everyone. I can't stay. I want to stay, want to stay with you, To-ya, more than anything, but I can't. I have to go, I don't know where.
Somewhere I can be no more than an echo on the breeze.
V.
Perfection
Certain things are expected of Syaoran. He is expected to be the perfect fighter. He is expected to be the perfect sorcerer. He is expected to be perfect.
Everyone expects this of him, and so he trains, studies, and practices, until he is perfect. He can fight anyone and win. He can do anything, because he is perfect.
Then he travels, and isn't perfect anymore. A girl is, who wins without fighting, who only has to try. And he realizes:
He works to be perfect. She simply is.
But still he tries, chasing perfection that is forever beyond his reach.
VI.
Inferiority
She wasn't good enough. She wasn't good enough, and it haunts her dreams. She wasn't good enough, and it haunts her waking moments. She wasn't good enough.
Meiling wasn't good enough, was never good enough, never will be good enough for anyone. she couldn't do magic; not good enough for her parents. She got beaten; not good enough for her teachers. She wasn't Sakura; not good enough for her beloved.
She will never be good enough. She will never have magic, never be unbeatable, never be Sakura. Never have a chance.
Meiling will never be good enough, and it hurts.
VII.
Existence
Do you exist? What an odd question to ask. If you don't exist, who is asking? If you do, why ask?
Of course, you are a special case. Not everyone has the dubious honor of being half of the greatest sorcerer ever. But that's the problem, isn't it? Where does he end; where do you begin? Is there a you at all?
Someone lives in this house. Someone has two guardians who are their own people. Someone has a wonderful girlfriend who understands. Is that you? Or a reflection?
Maybe both, maybe neither. It will have to do, for now.
VIII.
Prescience
She will know what is to happen. She will always know, and it will always happen.
She will know when love will fade. She will know when friends will die. She will suffer loss beforehand, and winning will have been robbed of sweetness. She will know this, before anything.
She will rage against the coils of future that bind her. She will wish for death, and know it will not come. She will wish for madness, and know she will be sane. She will be alone.
She will always know. It will be her gift; it will be her curse.
IX.
Depression
Yue had fallen a long time ago. He had become nothing, and found that nothing was worse than anything he could ever have imagined.
He did what he had to do. He said the words he ought to say. He pretended not to be dying inside. Always dying, never dead. Always falling, never landing. He couldn't stop, no more could he change.
He did not want to live. He did anyway. He wanted things to be the way they had been. They weren't anyway. He couldn't have what he most wanted.
Yue had fallen and would never hit the ground.
X.
Mania
Bounce, bounce, bounce out of bed. Jump into uniform, hop downstairs. Twitch through breakfast, skitter out the door. Run down the road, flounce through the halls. Sprawl in your seat, scuffle through papers. Wave at Touya, smirk at Yue's mask.
'Yes, sensei.' 'No, sensei.' 'Two x squared, sensei.' Giggle to yourself, smile to the teacher. Lunchtime!
Tackle Touya, gobble lunch. Back to the classroom before the bell rings. 'Yes, sensei.' 'No, sensei.' 'Pluperfect tense, sensei.'
Skibble home, dance up stairs. Dinner, candy, time for bed. Say your prayers, turn out the light.
And don't slow down, or else you fall.
XI.
Retreat
I don't like people. People don't like me; I don't like people. I would rather have a good book any day. Books don't judge. Books don't point and laugh. In books, I'm nothing out of the ordinary.
Definitely preferable to people.
Eriol occasionally has people to visit. When they aren't magicians, I stay away. Often I stay away if they are magicians, as well.
I don't like people. I like solitude. When you're alone, you don't have to worry about what anyone says, or does, because there's only you. Only you.
I don't like people. But sometimes...I wish I did.
XII.
Flamboyance
Kero loves attention. He drinks it in like the sunlight that is his power, like the cakes he gobbles at every opportunity. He lives for the spotlight, and adjusts himself accordingly.
He laughs louder, brags more, makes his every gesture say, 'See me!' The world is his for the taking, and he amazes it instead.
Kero has everyone he needs. His brother, his Mistress, her family...so what if the Chinese brat still glares at him? He doesn't matter.
But then, neither does Kero. And in the middle of the night, hidden at last from the world, he knows it, too.
XIII.
Escape
Naoko: books.
Books: Naoko.
That's what everyone knows about her.
Outside: Wars, tears, fear, hate, pain, death, pettiness.
Inside: Dreams, dances, swords, sorcery, light, shadow, magnificence.
That's what she knows about books.
Them: Friends, enemies, allies, whatever you need them to be.
You: The hero of your story, the one who can make a difference.
That's what books know about everyone.
She likes inside better than outside. Who wouldn't? Inside, you can't hurt, bleed, or die for real. Just turning the pages back makes it all better. She prefers to read than to live, because reading is life without death.
XIV.
Misdirection
Magicians come in all guises, but still only one. Just one trick, all they need. Now you see me, now you don't.
The lies accumulate behind the mask, inside the gloves. Rabbits, doves, flowers; now you see them, now you don't.
He, a magician, makes people vanish. Call it sleight-of-hand or misdirection, it remains that he, with words, works magic. Like all great magicians, he performs alone. Now you see him, now you don't.
And now he is in the labyrinth of words, and there is no departing, not even through an unbelievable story. Then you saw him...now you don't.
XV.
Violence
No one knew what went on in her head at night. No one knew she screamed into her pillow rather than break the earth.
She felt the anger bubbling inside her, and so she tried to force it away. She tried releasing it slowly. She still felt it, deep inside.
She screamed alone; out in the world she was cheerful. There was no anger.
Except for one person she constantly smacked, strangled, dragged away, because by that time she couldn’t feel anything else.
Chiharu used to be so nice, everyone said. What happened? They never knew; she was always angry.
These probably need to be reordered before I post them to ff.net. If you couldn't tell, it's Touya-Sakura-Tomoyo-Yukito-Syaoran-Meiling-Eriol-Kaho-Yue-Ruby-Spinel-Kero-Naoko-Yamazaki-Chiharu. Yeah. I had way too many ideas, so I used them all.
I used three different persons (1st, 2nd, 3rd), three tenses (past, present, future), and three stints at writing them (Touya, Sakura-Kero, Naoko-Chiharu). Oddly, the longest one was easiest.
Hardest to Cut: Misdirection, which I first wrote at 173 words. It's a shell of its former self.
Easiest to Cut: Retreat, which came out to 100 words at the first go.
My Favorite Issues: Abandonment, Suppression, and Prescience.
My Least Favorite Issue: Retreat and Escape, which are too similar.
Blame Ray Bradbury, Neil Gaiman (especially for Misdirection), the Faerie Puck on ff.net (for Mania), and too many other people to count.
Feed the ravening review monster? Question: does anyone have suggestions for how to re-order these?