Ex-Girlfriend Troubles (Cardcaptor Sakura/xxxHOLiC)
Ex-Girlfriend Troubles
Title: Ex-Girlfriend Troubles
Author: rhap_chan
Pairing: (past) Clow/Yuuko
Fandom: Cardcaptor Sakura/xxxHOLiC
Disclaimer: Cardcaptor Sakura belongs to CLAMP.
Summary: A crack-fic written for Halloween: the reason Eriol especially should not call his ex-girlfriend when drunk. Nakuru might end up with boobs.
A/N: Happy Halloween, everyone! ^^ This fic is an offering for this season and this post a reminder that signups for cardcaptorgifts end tomorrow.
The first thing Eriol noticed, scarily enough, was the fact that Nakuru had boobs. Since he hadn't built his guardian with a set, he was understandably surprised.
He opened his mouth and Nakuru put her hand over it.
"Not a word," she hissed.
The second thing he noticed was the fact that she was sitting on his abdomen, and that was incredibly uncomfortable. This was not the way she generally woke him in the morning.
"Good morning, Eriol," Nakuru said in a threatening tone, much like the one Yue used to use when they were out of hair conditioner.
"Good morning," Eriol managed to squeeze from his lungs. After a moment and an unpleasant bounce, Nakuru got up and crossed her arms around her chest protectively. It didn't hide anything.
"What's going on?" Eriol gasped finally. He didn't remember making alterations to Nakuru; he didn't even remember what he had done last night.
"Do you know," Nakuru began in a conversational tone, "that people who are drunk often call their ex-girlfriends and rail at them for things that happened hundreds of years ago and should be forgotten, Eriol?"
"Hundreds of years ago?" Eriol began to protest weakly, and then he remembered the reason that the blood was pounding so uncomfortably in his ears. Syaoran's bachelor party had been last night, and he couldn't miss the celebration of his dear descendant's wedding, could he?
He didn't remember the phone call at all. This was a bad sign. Eriol smacked himself in the forehead. The effort made his headache worse.
"Yuuko called this morning," Nakuru said. "Apparently you two had some sort of screaming match over some high-dimensional magic that she and Clow had done together, which ended with accusations that neuter was not a sex, cats should be cats, and that you were still such a child."
"Really," Eriol said, trying to think past his pounding headache. "So she gave you br-- so she-- she did that?" he said, trying to be tactful. Nakuru crossed her arms more firmly.
"Spinel is under my bed playing with a ball of yarn," she said in an accusatory tone. "And he has claws. And he bites."
"I'm sorry, Nakuru," he said, trying to look in any other direction than at her chest, but it was hard. Yuuko had gifted his guardian with a large endowment. The thought made him blush furiously, embarrassed.
"And what's more--" Nakuru said, and Eriol sighed, putting his hand over his eyes. Why did it seem so bright in here today?
"--She's promised to come babysit in a few hours."
"Babysit whom?"
Nakuru didn't say anything. Eriol slowly removed his hand from his eyes and looked down. His legs under the bed covers seemed... shorter. He picked up his glasses from the bedside table and tried to put them on and look again, in hopes that things might have changed, but they slid from ears much smaller and more closely placed than normal.
Yuuko was coming to babysit. Yuuko was coming to babysit him.
"How fast do you think the best aging potion I can make will work?" he asked Nakuru.
"Not fast enough," the guardian said. She rubbed her hands on her lower back.
Desperately Eriol climbed down from his bed and hurried down to the study. A mirror he passed in the hall made him out to be about seven or so, and while he valued boyish good looks, he didn't think it would help him with Yuuko.
"Next time I go out, don't let me take my phone!" he said to Nakuru before he disappeared into the basement to look through his collection of spellbooks.
"I promise," Nakuru said darkly, and went looking for some bits of string so she could play with Spinel.
Title: Ex-Girlfriend Troubles
Author: rhap_chan
Pairing: (past) Clow/Yuuko
Fandom: Cardcaptor Sakura/xxxHOLiC
Disclaimer: Cardcaptor Sakura belongs to CLAMP.
Summary: A crack-fic written for Halloween: the reason Eriol especially should not call his ex-girlfriend when drunk. Nakuru might end up with boobs.
A/N: Happy Halloween, everyone! ^^ This fic is an offering for this season and this post a reminder that signups for cardcaptorgifts end tomorrow.
The first thing Eriol noticed, scarily enough, was the fact that Nakuru had boobs. Since he hadn't built his guardian with a set, he was understandably surprised.
He opened his mouth and Nakuru put her hand over it.
"Not a word," she hissed.
The second thing he noticed was the fact that she was sitting on his abdomen, and that was incredibly uncomfortable. This was not the way she generally woke him in the morning.
"Good morning, Eriol," Nakuru said in a threatening tone, much like the one Yue used to use when they were out of hair conditioner.
"Good morning," Eriol managed to squeeze from his lungs. After a moment and an unpleasant bounce, Nakuru got up and crossed her arms around her chest protectively. It didn't hide anything.
"What's going on?" Eriol gasped finally. He didn't remember making alterations to Nakuru; he didn't even remember what he had done last night.
"Do you know," Nakuru began in a conversational tone, "that people who are drunk often call their ex-girlfriends and rail at them for things that happened hundreds of years ago and should be forgotten, Eriol?"
"Hundreds of years ago?" Eriol began to protest weakly, and then he remembered the reason that the blood was pounding so uncomfortably in his ears. Syaoran's bachelor party had been last night, and he couldn't miss the celebration of his dear descendant's wedding, could he?
He didn't remember the phone call at all. This was a bad sign. Eriol smacked himself in the forehead. The effort made his headache worse.
"Yuuko called this morning," Nakuru said. "Apparently you two had some sort of screaming match over some high-dimensional magic that she and Clow had done together, which ended with accusations that neuter was not a sex, cats should be cats, and that you were still such a child."
"Really," Eriol said, trying to think past his pounding headache. "So she gave you br-- so she-- she did that?" he said, trying to be tactful. Nakuru crossed her arms more firmly.
"Spinel is under my bed playing with a ball of yarn," she said in an accusatory tone. "And he has claws. And he bites."
"I'm sorry, Nakuru," he said, trying to look in any other direction than at her chest, but it was hard. Yuuko had gifted his guardian with a large endowment. The thought made him blush furiously, embarrassed.
"And what's more--" Nakuru said, and Eriol sighed, putting his hand over his eyes. Why did it seem so bright in here today?
"--She's promised to come babysit in a few hours."
"Babysit whom?"
Nakuru didn't say anything. Eriol slowly removed his hand from his eyes and looked down. His legs under the bed covers seemed... shorter. He picked up his glasses from the bedside table and tried to put them on and look again, in hopes that things might have changed, but they slid from ears much smaller and more closely placed than normal.
Yuuko was coming to babysit. Yuuko was coming to babysit him.
"How fast do you think the best aging potion I can make will work?" he asked Nakuru.
"Not fast enough," the guardian said. She rubbed her hands on her lower back.
Desperately Eriol climbed down from his bed and hurried down to the study. A mirror he passed in the hall made him out to be about seven or so, and while he valued boyish good looks, he didn't think it would help him with Yuuko.
"Next time I go out, don't let me take my phone!" he said to Nakuru before he disappeared into the basement to look through his collection of spellbooks.
"I promise," Nakuru said darkly, and went looking for some bits of string so she could play with Spinel.