YamaJima Part VI
Title : Love Lust and Loss
Pairing : YamaJima , Chiitaro , YamaTaro?
Rating : PG 13
Genre : Angst , Romance
Summary : Life is not easy so do love.
Warning : BOYxBOY
AN: - Italic is their flashback
The door was opened and the lady entered. The room was dark and the windows were open as the light from the moon enters the room. He was sitting on the floor as his back leaned against the wall. The room was messed with his books and photos of him.
“Ryuu...your dinner is ready...” His mother talked.
“Ryuu...you need to eat..” A worried voice talked to him but still, he ignores the person.
It’s been a week since he lost his Chinen Yuri. It’s also being a week for Ryutaro to shut himself in his room avoiding other people and things ever since he came back from the funeral. The silver necklace never leaves his hands. The video camera keeps on replaying the same video and it was laying next to him.
“Ryuu..” The lady sighed.
It was hard for her to ease the pain of her son. She never experienced the pain that the latter had. The pain of losing the one that he loves. She was sure that if the same things happen to her, it wouldn’t be impossible for her to be like her son. But people said, life needs to move on. It hurt for her to watch her son trapped in the shadow of a dead person.
“Ryuutaro..you need to be strong and move on...” She held the young guy hands.
“I’m sure, Chinen-kun wouldn’t be happy if he saw you act like this...”
Silence.
“He...broke the promise...”
His hands gripped the necklace tightly as his tears flowed down. He felt betrayed.
“The anniversary...both of us...should be together...b-but he broke it...” He talked almost whispering.
She can’t hold her tears anymore as she heard the words. Slowly, she caress the latter face and thumbs the tears away.
“I’m sorry dear...but you need to move-“
“Why are you apologizing to me?” He cut her words. “It wasn’t you who supposed to be sorry! Yuri should say that! He should came here an-“ before he manage to continued his talks a hand landed on his face.
“Even if you said that he still can’t! Ryutaro, listen” She grab her son shoulders. “ Chinen-kun will never be calm if he saw you acting like this. He knows, and all of us know that you’re strong enough to face this kind moment! You are not the weak person..”
“I can’t be strong without Yuri, mom...he is my strength..and he also my weakness...”
~o~o~o~
He should be happy. Ryosuke should be happy. That’s what the latter thought ever since his surgery done a week ago. But he can’t understand his heart fully. Somehow, there’s a deep feeling inside his heart that he was...worried. Yuto had been extra caring to him. The latter never leave his side. He is not upset with the treatment but people said sadness will came when the happiness appears.
“Ryosuke?” Yuto talked as he felt his hands being squeezed by the older. “Why aren’t you sleep yet?” He adds on while stroking the brown hairs.
“Ne, Yuto..you will never leave me, right?” He asked.
It was a sudden question that caused Yuto to startle on his seat. The silence makes Ryosuke feeling become worst. He held the latter hand firmly as he waited for the answer.
“W-what are you saying? What’s with that sudden question?” He cracked a small laughter trying to cover his nervousness.
Realizing his stupid question, the older joins the laughter. He shouldn’t question Yuto with that thing. He knows how much the latter loves him and he should believe that Yuto will never leaves him. “Gomen...I’m just being stupid...”
“Baka~ don’t think too much. The doctor said that your bandage will remove just in a few days.” He brushed the brown hair gently. “You’ll be able to see again soon.”
A soft chuckle released and he nodded his head. “Ne..Yuto...”
“Hm?”
“Will you promise me that you’ll be the first person that I’ll see?” Ryosuke sense that Yuto was smiling when he asked the question.
“I can’t be sure though..I think the doctor will be the first person that you’ll see..” He joked.
“Mou..that’s different! I want the one that I love to be the first person that I see right when I gain my sight back..” He talked while bowed his head down to hide his red cheeks. There was a short pause as both of them didn’t utter anything. But then, Ryosuke feel his head being patted.
“Haih. I promise that I’ll be the first person that you’ll see on that day...”
There’s nothing that can describe his feeling that moment. All of his worries just fade away as he heard the words that Yuto had told him. At least tonight, he can have a peaceful sleep until the day come.
---
It doesn’t take long for Yuto to wait Ryosuke fall asleep. After tucked the latter’s blanket carefully, Yuto sighed and exited from the room. He walked to the rooftop, the same things that he usually do since few days ago. He took the empty seat and gaze the sky.
In two days, he’ll never saw the older anymore. Yuto hated the time so much. Sometimes, he just wished that the time will stop and both of them will always be together. But it’ll be selfish for him to do it. He’ll only ruined Ryosuke’s life.
“I’ll leave Ryosuke once his sight back to normal..” He bowed his head down. Both hands were placing on the floor while he was on his kneel begging in front of his father and Ryosuke’s mother.
“You’re such cussed, Yuto.” She talked while throwing a disgust glare to her step son.
“I..I’ll leave once it done..but for now...please let me take care of him...I...I want to be with him..please.. before he can see let me stay beside him..” He begged the older.
“Leave and never appear in my son’s life anymore..” Natsumi uttered before she walked away from the young guy.
To make Ryosuke gain his sight back, there are always things to do in return. Everything had happened and Yuto already agreed with the condition. He glance his watch and it’s 3 minutes passed midnight. He still has at least two days to be with Ryosuke before everything changed.
“I’m sorry...Ryosuke”
“Ryuu-chan!”
His eyes slowly opened and the clear sky greets him. He tilted his head to his left side and he saw the blooming Sakura tree. He seems familiar with the place but he can’t remember it.
“Ryuu-chan!!”
The voice calling his name again. He knew the voice. In a split second he stood up and followed the voice. His legs had dragged him to a building and by now he was walking down the corridor. He saw colourful of origami laying on the floor. It’s like telling him to follow it. Soon, he reached to a familiar room. There are only two chairs inside the room. His eyes wandered all over the place. He can tell that he’s in a class room. His eyes then stuck to the blackboard. Something is written on it.
To my only Ryuu-chan..
Gomen ne for breaking our promise..
From your only Yuri.
“Did you read that?”
The taller startled from his stand and immediately turn his body to the voice. There, standing in front of him, the only person that he missed the most, smiling while looking at him is Chinen Yuri. Tears falled on his face again and it caused the smile on the shorter faded.
“E-eh! D-don’t cry, Ryuu-chan..I-I’m sorry..but please don’t cry..”
The tears continuosly flowed and Ryutaro had moved his legs closer to Chinen and take the latter into his embrace. He buried his face on the shorter hair. Slowly, he can feel the latter hands sneak to his waist and hold him firmly. But something is different with their hug. There is no warmness but only a cold feeling.
“B-baka! Don’t ever leave me again, Yuri!” He talked as he broke their hugs. A lone tear escape from Chinen eyes when his cold hands moved to cupped the Ryutaro’s face. He planted a soft kiss on the latter lips.
“Gomen ne, Ryuu-chan...but I can’t do that..I-”
“NO! YOU’LL STAY WITH ME! YOU’RE NOT LEAVING! AND THAT’S FINAL!” Ryutaro cut his lover’s words and trapped the guy into his arms once again.
“I..I’m really sorry, Ryuu..but I can’t...I need to go...they’re calling me...” He removed the taller hands from his figure.
Something is totally different. No matter how strong Ryutaro had wrapped his arms on Chinen’s body, but the latter still manage to loosen it. Chinen then took the trembling hands and hold it close to his heart. He lifted up his head to eye the one that he loves.
“I’ll always love you..”He smiled as his took a step back until the small guy disappear from the taller sight.
“Y-yuri..” The taller started to get panic as the latter disappear from his sight. Ryutaro then exited to classroom. He run on the hallway while searching for Chinen all over the place but failed to find the latter. His legs had reached to it limit as he fall on his knees. His head become heavy and slowly his sight become blurred. Ryutaro tried to voiced out to called Chinen but he can’t. Something is stuck on his throat.
He can’t lose with these things as he thought. With all the remaining energy that he have, Ryutaro then forced his body to walk using only the wall as his support. But the more he tried, the pain that he felt on his head become more painful. He loses his balance and fall down the floor. Before his eyes close, he can hear a voice belongs to a brown haired guy.
“Are you okay?” The chubby cheeks asked. Before everything goes black, the only thing that Ryutaro can remember was the stares from the unknown person.
“YURI!” He shouted the name. The room was dark and sweat was all over his body. He sighed and palmed his face. The same dream that he had since two days ago. Ryutaro lay his body back to his bed again. His hand traces the necklace on his neck. “Please come back to me...Yuri..” He uttered before fall asleep once again.
~o~o~o~
“Ohayou..Yamada-kun..” The middle age nurse greets which the other person greet back. She help the young guy to seat up on the bed before continue her work. “I heard from the doctor that your bandage will be remove today..feeling nervous?” She asked the brown hair.
“Well...I just can’t believe that I can see again...” Ryosuke smile nervously. He had woke up early that morning and keep on thinking about his eyes. It was a miracle if he be able to see again but somehow, he also having a thought that the surgery will failed. Thought Yuto often asked him to be positive, but he still can put the feelings away from him. Plus, lately, he’s having a weird dream and it was the same dream that he had since few days ago. A young guy may be same age as he is, come to him and drag him to another place. He’ll then stand under the blooming Sakura tree and saw a tall guy that seems to be in pain.
The sound of the door snap him back from his thought. Soon, Yuto’s voice can be heard.
“Ohayou..” The taller kissed his forehead. Ryosuke blushed with the act as he can heard a giggles from the nurse.
“I guess, I’ll be leaving now since your prince had arrived..” The woman teased before exited the room leaving only Yuto with Ryosuke alone.
“Where did you go?” The older asked Yuto.
“To the doctor. We’ve talked about your condition. They’ll remove the bandage today.”
Silence.
“What’s wrong?” Yuto asked back when he saw the older face seems to be in worried.
“Nothing...It’s just...I feel like I miss you...”
“Baka..You’re going to see me soon. Why would you miss me..” He patted the brown haired. Without Ryosuke knowing, there’s a pool of tears on Yuto’s eyes. “Now, let’s go to the doctor’s room. He had waited us there.”
“Chinen Yuri..I-I like you!” He bowed his head. The students start to whispers to each other as they heard the tall guy shout out the words to the shorter. Some of them, especially the girls, were squealing with the confession while the rest threw shocked and broken hearted looks. His heartbeats were increasing while waiting the other person to give out the answer.
Shocked and speechless was the only thing that can be showed on Chinen’s face. His best childhood friends, and more over his first and only crush has just confessed his feelings towards him. Chinen had dream that one that the latter will stand in front of him while shout out those three words to him but never in his mind thought that his dream will come true.
Realizing that the shorter guy remains silent, Ryutaro slowly lift up his face and gaze the shocked person. His eyes show hesitation to answers his feelings. The latter then cracked an awkward laugh and tried his best to not to let his tears fall down even though a pool of tears already formed on his eyes.
“G-gomen..It’s okay...I-I won’t force you to tell me your answer. “ He rubbed his nape nervously. “Y-yappari..I shouldn’t say that stupid things to you...G-gomen..just forget it...” The tall guy smiled though it didn’t reach his ear. With his broken heart, Ryutaro then walked away from his best childhood friends. The roar amongst the crowded student become louder as they watch the scene.
“I...!!” The only word after his long silence. It manage to stop the other guy from walked away from him. Ryutaro then tilted his head to his stand.
“I-I....l-like you too...”
Nothing can describe his feelings that day. The one that he loves is actually having a mutual feeling with him. It was like his wish had been fulfilled. Dragging his long legs, Ryutaro then pulled the shorter into his embrace.
“Thank you..”
“Nii-chan...” He heard a voice from the outside of his room as the door being knocked. Few second later, the door was open and his little brother was standing in front of his room with eyes full of concern.
“Let me be alone, Shin...” He mumbled.
A frown escape from his little brother lips before the younger moved closer to the older.
“Stop being pathetic, Nii-chan..You still have your life to be move on!” The younger told yet Ryutaro shows no interest to have any talk with the latter.
“Leave me alone,Shintaro..”
Shintaro had enough with his brother act. The latter totally immerse himself with the shadow of a dead person. “Even if you locked yourself from outside of this world you can never bring Chinen-kun alive!”
“Stop it...”
“I’m saying the truth, Nii-chan! Chinen-kun -“
Losing his patience, the older then grab his brother shit and throw the latter to the wall. “SHUT UP!! STOP IT! DON’T YOU HEAR WHAT HAVE I SAID TO YOU?? LEAVE - ME - ALONE !!”
The loud noise from the upstairs caused both the young guy family rushed to the room.
“What the heck are you two doing?! Ryutaro! Let go off your brother!” The middle aged man barked.
With his trembling hands, the oldest Morimoto son, finally loosen his grip. The room stay in awkward silence. None of the family member uttered a word. Tears flowed down his face. Before and other drop tears fall, Ryutaro had moved his legs to exited the room. The latter then bump his little sister who’s watching him with teary eyes. It hurt him to see the girl crying but he need his space. Taking all his thought with him, Ryutaro then walked out from the house.
“We are going to open this bandage now, Yamada-kun..” The doctor told and he received a nervous nod from his patient.
Yuto was standing right next to Ryosuke while his hands were holding the latter’s hand, firmly. Slowly, the white things that wrapped on his eyes being removed by the doctor. It doesn’t take long for the things to be open. The grips on Yuto’s hands suddenly become tight. Soon, the cotton was taken off from his eyes.
“Now..do follow my instruction. Slowly open your eyes..”
And the brown haired guy obeyed the words. It was a bit hurt at first. The light was too bright and it was like stabbing his eyes. He had been living in dark for these past few months for sure to be able to see again is something that he need to get used to it back.
Yuto watch Ryosuke slowly open his eyes. He can sense the latter was in nervous state. When he finally manages to open his eyes, his blurred vision slowly fixed. The first thing that he looks was the face of Yuto. Tears leaked from his eyes as his hands moved to trace to latter face longingly.
After hearing the long advice from the doctor, Ryosuke is allowed to back to his room again. Yuto was holding the older hand as both of them exited the doctor’s room.
“Gomen ne, Ryosuke..Suzuki-san will help you to walk back to you room. I still have something to be talked to with the doctor.”
Ryosuke was a bit hesitate for awhile but he pushed the thoughts away as he remind himself that he can still see the tall guy later when their talks is over.
“Okay..” He smiled.
Yuto then pulled the older in his deep embrace, kissing the brown hair softly and trying his best to hide his almost crying eyes.
He watched Ryosuke slowly being helped by the nurse until the latter disappear from his sight after the corner. A drop of tear suddenly changed to more. His legs lost his strength and he fall on his knee to the floor.
“Sayonara..Ryosuke..”
“How does it fetl like be able to see again, Yamada-kun?” The nurse talked while helping him walking. His sight still hasn’t fully recovered yet. His vision is a bit hard since his still haven’t got used with the new part on his eyes.
“Happy and grateful...i never thought I can see again..” The young patient replied while a big smile on his face.
“If you believe something with all your heart..it will happen to be true...I’m sure your family will also be happy to hear this..”
It was like reality had struck his mind when he heard his family things being brought out. Ryosuke was wondering, does his mother even know about his state right now?
“And this is your room, Yamada-kun..” The nurse talked and opens the door. Ryosuke thanked the lady before enter the room. To his surprise, he saw another person waiting for him inside the room. His mother together with his step father was waiting for him inside the room.
“M-mom...”
“Nakajima-kun is really a kind person...ne? He let you to have a moment with your family too. It’s really a good thing from anybody that have him as their lover, deshou?” Suzuki-san keep on talking while helping the young guy to walk. “Well, I guess I should also continue my work again..jyaa...”
“How d-did you know I’m he-” Ryosuke tried to asked after a long pause but he didn’t manage to finish his words as Natsumi suddenly wrapped her arms on Ryosuke’s figure.
“Thanked god you can see again..” She cried on.
Ryosuke once again loss his words after his mother’s act. She’s worried about him. But he tried to hold himself more and pushed the figure away from him.
“What are you up to now??” He asked his own mother. He never meant to be rude, but Ryosuke had promise to himself that he’ll never let go of Yuto not anymore. But all his promise was broke by the other guy. The next words that come out from Natsumi completely destroy his life.
“He had leave you and you’ll never saw that guy anymore..”
AN:
- Hi there :) sorry for the late update.
- Here's the biggest announcement that I'm going to say.
TO ALL MY READER OR PERHAPS ANY SILENT READER? : This will be the last fic before I'm declaring my hiatus. I tried to finish this fic as soon as I can, but seems like my December month isn't really a month for me to write any fic. There's a lot of things that need to be done especially now, since I'm going to focus on my study.
- I'm not going to promise anything more that related with this fic since I'm not sure when will the rest chapter being post.
- happy reading and do leave a comment 'cause I love it 8D