oh it's raining, oh what a surprise
it was storming in biblical fashion out here not so long ago and has now tapered back to just rain. somehow the fact that it's been either cloudy or rainy all day does not surprise me. the weather is making me short-tempered and impatient and cranky, and the temptation to free my inner bitch is sometimes really strong. (more so than usual, anyway.) the nice thing about communicating online is that i can think about what i'm saying before i say it, so as not to needlessly piss people off. also i left some windows open in my house this morning, and i hope it hasn't rained inside. that kind of sucks.
i can't figure out if i have a lot to say and just can't organize my thoughts, or if i really don't have anything to say but just think i do. how annoying. >.< i kind of want to talk about the stories i want to write, but some of them i just don't know enough to talk about. and i have absolutely no idea if i want to have an actual conversation with anyone anyway.
(sort-of aside: a lot of times i'm talking to someone and they're talking about whatever's going on in their life, stuff they need to get off their chest, whatever, and i'm perfectly happy and willing to listen and contribute to the discussion where i can, but eventually i want to talk about myself too. but then whoever i'm talking to says "so how are you" and i don't know what to say. i can't frame whatever it is i want to talk about. but if i get to talk first, i feel guilty for taking up the other person's time and making them listen to me. maybe i just don't know how to talk to people any more, like have a back-and-forth kind of conversation.)
still kind of want to do spn_j2_bigbang next year. still don't think it's the best idea i've ever had. am thinking about the story anyway. still (always, always) kind of thinking about fandom and my place in it. still love where i live, still hate the weather.
and now it seems to have stopped raining so i'm going to go home and do my dishes and pay my bills, and hope my floors aren't wet.
i can't figure out if i have a lot to say and just can't organize my thoughts, or if i really don't have anything to say but just think i do. how annoying. >.< i kind of want to talk about the stories i want to write, but some of them i just don't know enough to talk about. and i have absolutely no idea if i want to have an actual conversation with anyone anyway.
(sort-of aside: a lot of times i'm talking to someone and they're talking about whatever's going on in their life, stuff they need to get off their chest, whatever, and i'm perfectly happy and willing to listen and contribute to the discussion where i can, but eventually i want to talk about myself too. but then whoever i'm talking to says "so how are you" and i don't know what to say. i can't frame whatever it is i want to talk about. but if i get to talk first, i feel guilty for taking up the other person's time and making them listen to me. maybe i just don't know how to talk to people any more, like have a back-and-forth kind of conversation.)
still kind of want to do spn_j2_bigbang next year. still don't think it's the best idea i've ever had. am thinking about the story anyway. still (always, always) kind of thinking about fandom and my place in it. still love where i live, still hate the weather.
and now it seems to have stopped raining so i'm going to go home and do my dishes and pay my bills, and hope my floors aren't wet.