Chapter One: The Naked Office [KyuHae]
Title: The Naked Office.
Pairings: KyuHae (at least for now...).
Rate: M.
Warnings: slash, cursing, moody people, POVs.
Genre: Romance, Comedy.
Summary: I never thought I could be really happy. Fine perhaps, but not happy. I couldn’t believe an average guy like me could find happiness. At least, not the so called happiness people talk about, when you keep asking yourself if you are dreaming, you know? Well, I’ve never had it, I’ve never believed I would have it and I’ve never sought it out, as many people I know did.
And yet, it came to knock at my front door…
A/N: Hmm, what to say? First of all, I'm Brazilian. Although I teach English, I'm not actually fluent enough, so you might find a few mistakes in this fic. Second of all, I'm too excited to post something as "Ah, my first post here, cool, yeah yeah!" so I decided to post this fic as soon as I finished doing my Kyuhyun's icons.
I hope you like this fic :) This is only the first chapter, but I'm working hard on it
The Naked Office
First Sketch
“Mr. Cho!” I heard a guy screaming. What’s up with those people who simply yell at you on a Sunday morning without even knocking? “Mr. Cho Kyuhyun!”
Damn it… I had to answer it, didn’t I? God… It was such a hard task to get up! Oh, I would’ve got someone killed if it were just a beggar or something alike, though a beggar would hardly know my name. Still, Sunday morning, c’mon!
“Who is it?” I’m pretty sure my voice would scare kids and some grown-ups, but why bother? I was awake at eight a.m. on a Sunday, for Christ sakes! “And why are you yelling my name like that?”
“Sorry, sir! Mailman, sir! And I knocked thrice, sir” I guess he was afraid of me, but I wasn’t sure. And, even if he weren’t, he should be! Aish, didn’t he see my mail box?
“So I guess I’ll have to fix my door, aye? Cause I didn’t hear a thing…” I said, opening the door all rude. “And what do we have here?”
He had a letter. A fucking letter. Oh, how I hate those post office formal services. Those shits like sign that and take this receipt and so it goes… Gosh, I was really irritated! Lucky me it didn’t take long for me to stop being a pain in the ass. But that’s not the point - though I really have a morning problem.
I received a SM letter. Now, I know you must be thinking “SM Entertainment?!”, but no. Ok, I’m really gorgeous and I could be a Dong Bang Shin Ki 6th member for sure, but I’m not an idol. Actually, I’m nothing but a six-month-unemployee guy, so when I saw their envelope, all mighty and golden, I was so shocked I could barely keep my bad mood - and I even apologized to the mailman.
For those who are still wondering, SM is the acronym to Samsung Motors. Ok, nowadays it is RSM, since Renault took part of the company. Nevertheless, I’d like to think it’s still the good old SM. No, I’m not a car addict or something, but my father worked there his whole life before retiring, so I know how they are. It’s one of the best companies to work here, in Seoul, and my father always told me they used to send golden envelopes to those they thought would be good professionals. Not that they would run after employees - people that run after jobs, right? But they were always looking for special talents.
Now you must be thinking I was a greedy person, thinking about money and only money to be happy. Beh! Wrong answer. Ok, that letter was part of my happiness as well, but it wasn’t my happiness itself. It was just the beginning of it…
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“This is where you’ll work, Mr. Cho. Make yourself confortable and make sure the computer setup fits your needs.” A big fat guy told me. Gosh, how I love being thin for no reason. I’ve never had to work out to have a thin body like mine, but by looking at that guy I could surely tell he needed a few months at the gym. “By the way, I’m Shindong. Anything you need, you can page me or ask to one of your new colleagues, right?” He said before leaving. Of course he was Shindong. I’m not blind nor illiterate, which means I was able to read his ID card shaking on his chest. Anyways, we’re not talking about him.
I really don’t want to talk about the interview because it was actually kind of boring and they didn’t even tell me exactly where I’d work, so let’s just skip this part and go straight ahead, when a guy named Leeteuk finally told me what I was suppose to do there.
“So, I assume you are well-informed about your father’s former activities in our company…” He started, probably trying to sound friendly or something the like.
“I guess so… He designed cars’ inner spaces, didn’t he?” Well, if it wasn’t like that, than my father made me a fool for 22 years.
“I couldn’t say better…” Why do people say things like that? Anyways, he stood up and I followed him right after. “Please, come with me… Before any deal is closed, let me show you our company.” He pointed his office door, telling me I should go first. “Shall we?”
I went out his office and soon enough there we were, walking through the company, area by area. I can’t remember all of them, since it’s a huge company with lots of departments, but the last ones were the most interesting ones, for sure…
“This is our Human Resources Department.” He showed through a window a handful of people sitting on gray desks, each one with his own phone, laptop, lots of notepads and books, mainly about psychological issues. I counted seven of them, but I might be wrong… Actually, I didn’t pay much attention to the guys there, though I noticed some of them staring at me.
Anyway, we kept walking through the only corridor left for us to see. I was getting tired of walking, especially because none of the company’s features would matter as much as the salary and goods they offered would. After a while, we stopped in front of another room, smaller than the last one, but with the same kind of desks.
“This is our Chinese Department.” He stated as if it were normal for a company to have it. Ok, I must ask… How many of you have already seen such a department in a company?! It is not a normal thing. I couldn’t hide my what-the-fuck face when I first heard of that, and of course Leeteuk realized it and soon he tried to answer my question. “Most of our enginery is imported from China and we don’t have time to send its manuals to a translator or hire interpreters everytime we need to call them. Moreover, we have a lot of great employees here that don’t understand a word in Chinese… It would be a pity to fire them for that, you see?”
I couldn’t totally buy it since we live in a capitalist world where saving money counts more than hiring both translators and good professionals, but ok.
“Ah, right, right…” I hate when I don’t have what to answer, but his tell-me-you-understood-what-I-said face was begging for a word of mine. Anyway, I quickly turned to the wall against me when I realized a very weird guy was staring at me. Oh, what to do? I’m so pretty… Cough! Let’s get back to our exciting SM tour.
“And at last, but not least, our Design Department.” He said, spreading his arms as if he were welcoming me - and indeed, he was. “Here is where your presence is needed. Since your father retired, none of our employees could fulfill our company’s level. We need a new designer, able to create brand new lines for our vehicles. People not only care about its outter side when buying a car, you know?”
“Cough, eh…” No, I didn’t. It was a little strange to think my father knew a lot about car styles, people’s likes & dislikes about them and stuff like that by heart, while I was more worried about designing packages and things that had nothing to do with cars. I’ve never known why my father didn’t regret my professional choices. Maybe they didn’t matter as much as my sexual choices, but that’s not the point now. The point is… I don’t know. I was disappointed with the job they were offering me. I thought I would be able to do something more exciting, like advertising or something related to ads, but instead… Instead I’ve got that, an Inner Designer job - I didn’t even know how to call it. Still, I couldn’t say a simple no. “Ah, you see… Although I am a designer, I’m not sure if I’m what your company needs… I’ve never worked with something like this and-“
“Mr. Cho Kyuhyun” He interrupted me. I barely spoke through the whole tour and, when I did, the man simply cut me out? “I’m aware of your former job experiences and I certainly know you’ve never did anything close to what we’re asking. However, reconsider your thoughts… Once you’re a member of RSM staff, I guarantee you’ll find it nothing but a normal job. I’ve been watching your works since your father’s retirement and they are not bad.” I can perfectly remember his warm smile, just like an ahjusshi would smile to a kid. Not that I was a kid at that time. He was the one who was old enough to be an ahjusshi... So, after awhile, he laid his hands on my shoulders. “Your profile fits our needs. Your style matches our cars. Your name, Cho, is a remarkable name in our history. What are you waiting for?”
Without a good answer to turn his offer down, I accepted the job. I really wanted to know the reasons that led him to make such a good offer, but it would be impolite of me to ask - at least at that time. Also, what matters is that, a week after, there I was, heading to my new office at SM’s headquarters. Gosh, it felt great! Not that I wanted to be like my father, but it was such an accomplishment for me to reach his professional level… I couldn’t help but think I was really lucky.
And yet, I must warn you that this is not the reason why I’m happy now, though it has to do with my happiness. But ok, there I was at my first day in my new office. It was a Monday morning and I’ve never seen such a cloudy sky in Seoul...
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Knock, knock!
“Who’s there?” I asked, trying to organize my computer. I didn’t even turn my face to the door, but I could hear someone had entered.
“So you are the one they have been talking about…” The person said, his voice feeling a little bitter. “Mr… Cho!? Is that so?! You’re Cho’s son?!”
By the time I heard that question, I raised my head to face the person talking to me. As his voice had already told me, the person was a guy. A thin, pale, brown haired guy. His expression was funny: a mixture of shock and shame, like he regretted his former bitter tone of voice.
“And if I am?” I said, looking at him bored. “What are you going to do?” I can’t say for sure why I answered him like that, but I just felt like doing that, you know? Thinking about it now, I feel a little bad for being snobbish like that.
The guy smirked. “Maybe I’ll kiss ya.” He said, sticking his tongue out as a kid would do right before turning back and getting out of my office. I didn’t have time to read his ID card or ask his name, and I was so shocked by his answer that I couldn’t even react at first.
With my eyes still wide open, all I could think was: “God, what have I done to my life? Am I going insane by taking this job?” I swear to you that guy scaried me. To tell you the truth, I was already scaried enough with the “Chinese Department” idea, but ok…
Knock, knock!
“Come in…” I answered, this time looking at the door. It was him again, but I couldn’t find his ID card anywhere… “What the heck-“
“I was just joking, c’mon! Your father was funnier…” Ha, that was a joke. My father, a funny guy? HAHAHA, ah… I’m dying of laugher inside. Anyway, he kept looking at me like he was analyzing every single piece of my body, maybe trying to find traces of my father.
“Whatever…” He suddenly stopped looking at me to show me some papers, putting them on my desk. “You are a lucky one. Did you know that? From all of this corridor’s rooms, this is the only one that has partitions. Ah, lucky you! Here…” He pointed some words at the papers. I wasn’t really following him, since I was still confused by his previous behavior, so I just kept listening to him talking to me. “Since you’re our newest employee and I work at the Human Resources Department, I must make an… An one-on-one interview with you. Just a routine test to see if you’re not a serial killer or a weirdo or whatever you might be… Be in Room Nine by eleven o’clock. British ponctuality, aye? They’ve only borrowed me that room for an hour, so we gotta be fast.” He joined the papers back in his hands and walked till he reached my door. “Ah, don’t forget to bring your smile or something like that. Otherwise, it will be tiresome…” He winked and then left.
Aish! The jerk didn’t even say his name! How I hate people who just don’t use their ID cards on the right place… I remember frowning when the idea of meeting that guy alone for an hour came into my mind. Really, why would Samsung Motors hire a man like him, with no manners at all? Aish! I couldn’t even use my computer anymore. My thoughts were somewhere else, thinking of what sort of interview was that. I had already done one to enter there! Why doing another now? Weird company…
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“Ah, three minutes late! I’m already counting it on my files.” He said. Room nine wasn’t exactly a fancy room. I pictured it as a meeting room or something like that. A room they would use to hold meetings and give important announcements to employees maybe, but it was more like a basement. It was full of boxes - empty and full boxes. We sat near a pile of surveys, and soon enough I could finally read his name on his folder: Lee Donghae. I was pretty sure that “Lee” was a cursed last name, since I only knew crazy people called “Lee”.
Anyways, he picked up some papers, two or three blank sheets and two pens - one for him and one for me - and gazed at me, as if he could see right through my eyes.
“Tell me the name of a color.” He started, his pen ready to take note of whatever I’d say.
I thought of… Blue. Yeah, it was blue. But I couldn’t just say blue! It’d be too cliché - certainly not me. “Purple.” Yeah, purple was nearly blue, and yet, not blue itself. Nice work, Kyuhyun!
“Are you sure?” He gazed again, this time focusing on my lips. I think they were trembling a bit. “Are you sure you’ll pick purple?”
“Ahm… Yes?” I said, a little bored. I’ve already answered once, dammit! I hate repeating things… He seemed not to like my answer, making me feel kind of glad. Who’s joking now?
“Now tell me the name of an animal.”
Eh… An animal? What did he mean by that? An animal I’d like to be? Or to have? Or that I respect? Aish! So many options! And why did “A Goose’s Dream” came into my mind while I was thinking? Ah, whatever…
“I don’t know… A fish?” Fish?! What was I thinking when I said that?! Ok, I already had a fish, but he died. Actually, thinking of it, what a stupid animal to pick. At least it was not “lion” or “hawk”. People only choose obvious animals, it’s so annoying!
“Fi-fish?!” Donghae seemed bothered with my answer. What? Was that a bad signal about my personality? Saying “fish” turned me into a psycho? I swear I asked myself these things. I really don’t have a clue about how to make people’s profiles by analyzing their answers to random questions - because those were random questions.
“What? Now you’re gonna say that picking fishes makes me mentally-ill?” I asked, all sarcastic. Psychology is just not my style…
He didn’t answer me, so I assumed that was a “no”.
“And your favorite artist?” He said after awhile. I felt like he was trying to get the wrong answer from me by the way he asked. I couldn’t tell why though. I just felt like he was doing it, and… Ok, I must confess I almost answered “Lady GaGa”. Though she wasn’t - nor is - my favorite artist, I was kind of addicted to her at that time. Yet, it would be a fag answer, and I’m not a fag - not during the day, at least.
“I have plenty…” Time, I needed time to get Lady GaGa out of my head. Damn, I hate when Poker Face’s refrain sticks into your brain until you want to kill yourself.
“Ah, you must have a favorite, c’mon!” He insisted, a timid smile on his face. “Don’t tell me it’s Girls’ Generation.”
Ok, that guy was in trouble. How could he say an absurd like that?!
“Give me a break! They can’t even make a decent MV!” The only good one is Gee, and you all know the reason, don’t you? I’ll tell you then. What makes it good: Minho was in it. “I go for SHINee’s Minho then.” Fag as well, I know, but I realized that too late.
“Ah… Minho?! You gotta be kidding me!” Donghae said as if he were pissed. Well, I could swear he was pissed. But it’s just my opinion. “Ah, anyways… One last question and then we can have lunch, ok?”
Fi-nal-ly!
“Your favorite beer... ?” What?! C’mon, what’s up with those questions? This is not a personality profile - it’s a fansite profile! Maybe he thought I was a celebrity or something. To be shocked like he was when he first read I was Cho's son, who knows...
“Aish! Do you even need to ask!? The only beer we have in South Korea is Hite!” I held myself as hard as I could, but he was asking for a reaction like that! “The others are nothing but grain juice! Every one who calls himself a man should know that…” I know, it was a drunken answer. And I know - it wasn’t clever of me to say such thing to a HR guy I’ve just met.
He stared at me for a moment. Gosh, I was really tense. I couldn’t count the number of times the sentence “You fucked things up, jerk” passed through my mind, but it was more than a hundred, for sure.
“Hmm…” He mumbled, scratching his chin. “Yeah, I think so too.” Ah, so good to feel the relief after a moment of panic. “Let’s get going before the company’s restaurant runs out of lunch, aye?”
I was starving, but I wasn’t ready to have lunch with him. If he weren’t stranger than the Chinese guys, he was surely trying hard for it.
“Thank you, but… I’ll eat a few snacks I’ve brought.” Why was I explaining myself to him? “Bye.” I said, leaving Room Nine.
I must say I did try to understand what was beneath those questions. However, it didn’t take long for me to give up, since I was really starving and the snacks were only imaginary. Can you picture a good-looking guy like me eating snacks in my office? Me neither. But what else could I’ve said? “Ohoho, let’s have lunch together and talk about Mariah’s drunken speech, mate!” ?! No way! I’m not like that, especially to those I’m not acquainted with.
Well, I ended up eating in a diner near SM’s building, since I didn’t have time to eat in a nice restaurant. Just so you know, Samsung Motors Business & Administrative Headquarters was (and still is) located at the south part of Seoul, so it wasn’t hard to find good places to eat.
Ah, what to do next? No project was being developed by my department, so I all could do was surf on the internet, searching for news about StarCraft. My one and only addiction…
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A/N: Here's a few details I'd like to give you:
I hope you liked it as much I did while writing :) Look forward for the next chapter, aye? :D
Pairings: KyuHae (at least for now...).
Rate: M.
Warnings: slash, cursing, moody people, POVs.
Genre: Romance, Comedy.
Summary: I never thought I could be really happy. Fine perhaps, but not happy. I couldn’t believe an average guy like me could find happiness. At least, not the so called happiness people talk about, when you keep asking yourself if you are dreaming, you know? Well, I’ve never had it, I’ve never believed I would have it and I’ve never sought it out, as many people I know did.
And yet, it came to knock at my front door…
A/N: Hmm, what to say? First of all, I'm Brazilian. Although I teach English, I'm not actually fluent enough, so you might find a few mistakes in this fic. Second of all, I'm too excited to post something as "Ah, my first post here, cool, yeah yeah!" so I decided to post this fic as soon as I finished doing my Kyuhyun's icons.
I hope you like this fic :) This is only the first chapter, but I'm working hard on it
The Naked Office
First Sketch
“Mr. Cho!” I heard a guy screaming. What’s up with those people who simply yell at you on a Sunday morning without even knocking? “Mr. Cho Kyuhyun!”
Damn it… I had to answer it, didn’t I? God… It was such a hard task to get up! Oh, I would’ve got someone killed if it were just a beggar or something alike, though a beggar would hardly know my name. Still, Sunday morning, c’mon!
“Who is it?” I’m pretty sure my voice would scare kids and some grown-ups, but why bother? I was awake at eight a.m. on a Sunday, for Christ sakes! “And why are you yelling my name like that?”
“Sorry, sir! Mailman, sir! And I knocked thrice, sir” I guess he was afraid of me, but I wasn’t sure. And, even if he weren’t, he should be! Aish, didn’t he see my mail box?
“So I guess I’ll have to fix my door, aye? Cause I didn’t hear a thing…” I said, opening the door all rude. “And what do we have here?”
He had a letter. A fucking letter. Oh, how I hate those post office formal services. Those shits like sign that and take this receipt and so it goes… Gosh, I was really irritated! Lucky me it didn’t take long for me to stop being a pain in the ass. But that’s not the point - though I really have a morning problem.
I received a SM letter. Now, I know you must be thinking “SM Entertainment?!”, but no. Ok, I’m really gorgeous and I could be a Dong Bang Shin Ki 6th member for sure, but I’m not an idol. Actually, I’m nothing but a six-month-unemployee guy, so when I saw their envelope, all mighty and golden, I was so shocked I could barely keep my bad mood - and I even apologized to the mailman.
For those who are still wondering, SM is the acronym to Samsung Motors. Ok, nowadays it is RSM, since Renault took part of the company. Nevertheless, I’d like to think it’s still the good old SM. No, I’m not a car addict or something, but my father worked there his whole life before retiring, so I know how they are. It’s one of the best companies to work here, in Seoul, and my father always told me they used to send golden envelopes to those they thought would be good professionals. Not that they would run after employees - people that run after jobs, right? But they were always looking for special talents.
Now you must be thinking I was a greedy person, thinking about money and only money to be happy. Beh! Wrong answer. Ok, that letter was part of my happiness as well, but it wasn’t my happiness itself. It was just the beginning of it…
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“This is where you’ll work, Mr. Cho. Make yourself confortable and make sure the computer setup fits your needs.” A big fat guy told me. Gosh, how I love being thin for no reason. I’ve never had to work out to have a thin body like mine, but by looking at that guy I could surely tell he needed a few months at the gym. “By the way, I’m Shindong. Anything you need, you can page me or ask to one of your new colleagues, right?” He said before leaving. Of course he was Shindong. I’m not blind nor illiterate, which means I was able to read his ID card shaking on his chest. Anyways, we’re not talking about him.
I really don’t want to talk about the interview because it was actually kind of boring and they didn’t even tell me exactly where I’d work, so let’s just skip this part and go straight ahead, when a guy named Leeteuk finally told me what I was suppose to do there.
“So, I assume you are well-informed about your father’s former activities in our company…” He started, probably trying to sound friendly or something the like.
“I guess so… He designed cars’ inner spaces, didn’t he?” Well, if it wasn’t like that, than my father made me a fool for 22 years.
“I couldn’t say better…” Why do people say things like that? Anyways, he stood up and I followed him right after. “Please, come with me… Before any deal is closed, let me show you our company.” He pointed his office door, telling me I should go first. “Shall we?”
I went out his office and soon enough there we were, walking through the company, area by area. I can’t remember all of them, since it’s a huge company with lots of departments, but the last ones were the most interesting ones, for sure…
“This is our Human Resources Department.” He showed through a window a handful of people sitting on gray desks, each one with his own phone, laptop, lots of notepads and books, mainly about psychological issues. I counted seven of them, but I might be wrong… Actually, I didn’t pay much attention to the guys there, though I noticed some of them staring at me.
Anyway, we kept walking through the only corridor left for us to see. I was getting tired of walking, especially because none of the company’s features would matter as much as the salary and goods they offered would. After a while, we stopped in front of another room, smaller than the last one, but with the same kind of desks.
“This is our Chinese Department.” He stated as if it were normal for a company to have it. Ok, I must ask… How many of you have already seen such a department in a company?! It is not a normal thing. I couldn’t hide my what-the-fuck face when I first heard of that, and of course Leeteuk realized it and soon he tried to answer my question. “Most of our enginery is imported from China and we don’t have time to send its manuals to a translator or hire interpreters everytime we need to call them. Moreover, we have a lot of great employees here that don’t understand a word in Chinese… It would be a pity to fire them for that, you see?”
I couldn’t totally buy it since we live in a capitalist world where saving money counts more than hiring both translators and good professionals, but ok.
“Ah, right, right…” I hate when I don’t have what to answer, but his tell-me-you-understood-what-I-said face was begging for a word of mine. Anyway, I quickly turned to the wall against me when I realized a very weird guy was staring at me. Oh, what to do? I’m so pretty… Cough! Let’s get back to our exciting SM tour.
“And at last, but not least, our Design Department.” He said, spreading his arms as if he were welcoming me - and indeed, he was. “Here is where your presence is needed. Since your father retired, none of our employees could fulfill our company’s level. We need a new designer, able to create brand new lines for our vehicles. People not only care about its outter side when buying a car, you know?”
“Cough, eh…” No, I didn’t. It was a little strange to think my father knew a lot about car styles, people’s likes & dislikes about them and stuff like that by heart, while I was more worried about designing packages and things that had nothing to do with cars. I’ve never known why my father didn’t regret my professional choices. Maybe they didn’t matter as much as my sexual choices, but that’s not the point now. The point is… I don’t know. I was disappointed with the job they were offering me. I thought I would be able to do something more exciting, like advertising or something related to ads, but instead… Instead I’ve got that, an Inner Designer job - I didn’t even know how to call it. Still, I couldn’t say a simple no. “Ah, you see… Although I am a designer, I’m not sure if I’m what your company needs… I’ve never worked with something like this and-“
“Mr. Cho Kyuhyun” He interrupted me. I barely spoke through the whole tour and, when I did, the man simply cut me out? “I’m aware of your former job experiences and I certainly know you’ve never did anything close to what we’re asking. However, reconsider your thoughts… Once you’re a member of RSM staff, I guarantee you’ll find it nothing but a normal job. I’ve been watching your works since your father’s retirement and they are not bad.” I can perfectly remember his warm smile, just like an ahjusshi would smile to a kid. Not that I was a kid at that time. He was the one who was old enough to be an ahjusshi... So, after awhile, he laid his hands on my shoulders. “Your profile fits our needs. Your style matches our cars. Your name, Cho, is a remarkable name in our history. What are you waiting for?”
Without a good answer to turn his offer down, I accepted the job. I really wanted to know the reasons that led him to make such a good offer, but it would be impolite of me to ask - at least at that time. Also, what matters is that, a week after, there I was, heading to my new office at SM’s headquarters. Gosh, it felt great! Not that I wanted to be like my father, but it was such an accomplishment for me to reach his professional level… I couldn’t help but think I was really lucky.
And yet, I must warn you that this is not the reason why I’m happy now, though it has to do with my happiness. But ok, there I was at my first day in my new office. It was a Monday morning and I’ve never seen such a cloudy sky in Seoul...
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Knock, knock!
“Who’s there?” I asked, trying to organize my computer. I didn’t even turn my face to the door, but I could hear someone had entered.
“So you are the one they have been talking about…” The person said, his voice feeling a little bitter. “Mr… Cho!? Is that so?! You’re Cho’s son?!”
By the time I heard that question, I raised my head to face the person talking to me. As his voice had already told me, the person was a guy. A thin, pale, brown haired guy. His expression was funny: a mixture of shock and shame, like he regretted his former bitter tone of voice.
“And if I am?” I said, looking at him bored. “What are you going to do?” I can’t say for sure why I answered him like that, but I just felt like doing that, you know? Thinking about it now, I feel a little bad for being snobbish like that.
The guy smirked. “Maybe I’ll kiss ya.” He said, sticking his tongue out as a kid would do right before turning back and getting out of my office. I didn’t have time to read his ID card or ask his name, and I was so shocked by his answer that I couldn’t even react at first.
With my eyes still wide open, all I could think was: “God, what have I done to my life? Am I going insane by taking this job?” I swear to you that guy scaried me. To tell you the truth, I was already scaried enough with the “Chinese Department” idea, but ok…
Knock, knock!
“Come in…” I answered, this time looking at the door. It was him again, but I couldn’t find his ID card anywhere… “What the heck-“
“I was just joking, c’mon! Your father was funnier…” Ha, that was a joke. My father, a funny guy? HAHAHA, ah… I’m dying of laugher inside. Anyway, he kept looking at me like he was analyzing every single piece of my body, maybe trying to find traces of my father.
“Whatever…” He suddenly stopped looking at me to show me some papers, putting them on my desk. “You are a lucky one. Did you know that? From all of this corridor’s rooms, this is the only one that has partitions. Ah, lucky you! Here…” He pointed some words at the papers. I wasn’t really following him, since I was still confused by his previous behavior, so I just kept listening to him talking to me. “Since you’re our newest employee and I work at the Human Resources Department, I must make an… An one-on-one interview with you. Just a routine test to see if you’re not a serial killer or a weirdo or whatever you might be… Be in Room Nine by eleven o’clock. British ponctuality, aye? They’ve only borrowed me that room for an hour, so we gotta be fast.” He joined the papers back in his hands and walked till he reached my door. “Ah, don’t forget to bring your smile or something like that. Otherwise, it will be tiresome…” He winked and then left.
Aish! The jerk didn’t even say his name! How I hate people who just don’t use their ID cards on the right place… I remember frowning when the idea of meeting that guy alone for an hour came into my mind. Really, why would Samsung Motors hire a man like him, with no manners at all? Aish! I couldn’t even use my computer anymore. My thoughts were somewhere else, thinking of what sort of interview was that. I had already done one to enter there! Why doing another now? Weird company…
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“Ah, three minutes late! I’m already counting it on my files.” He said. Room nine wasn’t exactly a fancy room. I pictured it as a meeting room or something like that. A room they would use to hold meetings and give important announcements to employees maybe, but it was more like a basement. It was full of boxes - empty and full boxes. We sat near a pile of surveys, and soon enough I could finally read his name on his folder: Lee Donghae. I was pretty sure that “Lee” was a cursed last name, since I only knew crazy people called “Lee”.
Anyways, he picked up some papers, two or three blank sheets and two pens - one for him and one for me - and gazed at me, as if he could see right through my eyes.
“Tell me the name of a color.” He started, his pen ready to take note of whatever I’d say.
I thought of… Blue. Yeah, it was blue. But I couldn’t just say blue! It’d be too cliché - certainly not me. “Purple.” Yeah, purple was nearly blue, and yet, not blue itself. Nice work, Kyuhyun!
“Are you sure?” He gazed again, this time focusing on my lips. I think they were trembling a bit. “Are you sure you’ll pick purple?”
“Ahm… Yes?” I said, a little bored. I’ve already answered once, dammit! I hate repeating things… He seemed not to like my answer, making me feel kind of glad. Who’s joking now?
“Now tell me the name of an animal.”
Eh… An animal? What did he mean by that? An animal I’d like to be? Or to have? Or that I respect? Aish! So many options! And why did “A Goose’s Dream” came into my mind while I was thinking? Ah, whatever…
“I don’t know… A fish?” Fish?! What was I thinking when I said that?! Ok, I already had a fish, but he died. Actually, thinking of it, what a stupid animal to pick. At least it was not “lion” or “hawk”. People only choose obvious animals, it’s so annoying!
“Fi-fish?!” Donghae seemed bothered with my answer. What? Was that a bad signal about my personality? Saying “fish” turned me into a psycho? I swear I asked myself these things. I really don’t have a clue about how to make people’s profiles by analyzing their answers to random questions - because those were random questions.
“What? Now you’re gonna say that picking fishes makes me mentally-ill?” I asked, all sarcastic. Psychology is just not my style…
He didn’t answer me, so I assumed that was a “no”.
“And your favorite artist?” He said after awhile. I felt like he was trying to get the wrong answer from me by the way he asked. I couldn’t tell why though. I just felt like he was doing it, and… Ok, I must confess I almost answered “Lady GaGa”. Though she wasn’t - nor is - my favorite artist, I was kind of addicted to her at that time. Yet, it would be a fag answer, and I’m not a fag - not during the day, at least.
“I have plenty…” Time, I needed time to get Lady GaGa out of my head. Damn, I hate when Poker Face’s refrain sticks into your brain until you want to kill yourself.
“Ah, you must have a favorite, c’mon!” He insisted, a timid smile on his face. “Don’t tell me it’s Girls’ Generation.”
Ok, that guy was in trouble. How could he say an absurd like that?!
“Give me a break! They can’t even make a decent MV!” The only good one is Gee, and you all know the reason, don’t you? I’ll tell you then. What makes it good: Minho was in it. “I go for SHINee’s Minho then.” Fag as well, I know, but I realized that too late.
“Ah… Minho?! You gotta be kidding me!” Donghae said as if he were pissed. Well, I could swear he was pissed. But it’s just my opinion. “Ah, anyways… One last question and then we can have lunch, ok?”
Fi-nal-ly!
“Your favorite beer... ?” What?! C’mon, what’s up with those questions? This is not a personality profile - it’s a fansite profile! Maybe he thought I was a celebrity or something. To be shocked like he was when he first read I was Cho's son, who knows...
“Aish! Do you even need to ask!? The only beer we have in South Korea is Hite!” I held myself as hard as I could, but he was asking for a reaction like that! “The others are nothing but grain juice! Every one who calls himself a man should know that…” I know, it was a drunken answer. And I know - it wasn’t clever of me to say such thing to a HR guy I’ve just met.
He stared at me for a moment. Gosh, I was really tense. I couldn’t count the number of times the sentence “You fucked things up, jerk” passed through my mind, but it was more than a hundred, for sure.
“Hmm…” He mumbled, scratching his chin. “Yeah, I think so too.” Ah, so good to feel the relief after a moment of panic. “Let’s get going before the company’s restaurant runs out of lunch, aye?”
I was starving, but I wasn’t ready to have lunch with him. If he weren’t stranger than the Chinese guys, he was surely trying hard for it.
“Thank you, but… I’ll eat a few snacks I’ve brought.” Why was I explaining myself to him? “Bye.” I said, leaving Room Nine.
I must say I did try to understand what was beneath those questions. However, it didn’t take long for me to give up, since I was really starving and the snacks were only imaginary. Can you picture a good-looking guy like me eating snacks in my office? Me neither. But what else could I’ve said? “Ohoho, let’s have lunch together and talk about Mariah’s drunken speech, mate!” ?! No way! I’m not like that, especially to those I’m not acquainted with.
Well, I ended up eating in a diner near SM’s building, since I didn’t have time to eat in a nice restaurant. Just so you know, Samsung Motors Business & Administrative Headquarters was (and still is) located at the south part of Seoul, so it wasn’t hard to find good places to eat.
Ah, what to do next? No project was being developed by my department, so I all could do was surf on the internet, searching for news about StarCraft. My one and only addiction…
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A/N: Here's a few details I'd like to give you:
- SM (Samsung Motors) does exist. By the end of 2002 or 2003 (I think), 70% of it was bought by Renault;
- A Goose's Dream is a popular song among Koreans, and was already performed by Kyuhyun & Jonghyun during a SM TOWN (I think it was there. Correct me if it's not..);
- During one of Kiss the Radio (Radio Sukira's program where Eunhyuk and Leeteuk are MCs) program, Leeteuk was mocking Kyuhyun because Lady GaGa visited South Korea, and Kyuhyun was a big fan of her.
- Several times, Kyuhyun's addiction was mentioned as gaming - especially playing StarCraft. Donghae once even said he thought Kyuhyun was crazy because of it.
- Hite is the only Korean beer I know, because BIG BANG already made a CF (and a song) to it.
I hope you liked it as much I did while writing :) Look forward for the next chapter, aye? :D