How's life going, Emi??
A little update of what's going on in my life currently.
Well... from on and off my life goes UP and DOWN. When I'm down I go through my own hell... it's not very nice.
Not so long go I decided to contact a doctor to see what she could do for me. We had a little chat through phone and she gave me a new medicine to try. This medicine would make my panic attacks be smaller and not so BIG (if you know what I mean).
I have taken the medicine for now almost 3 weeks.
Yes, I feel different... but the side effects is that I can't sleep, have dry throat and don't feel like eating. I am eating, but I don't feel like it. And I had panic attacks too after taken the medicine, but they're not so big.
Anyway... my doctor told me to contact a physiotherapist, to help me with breathing, concetration etc. etc.
It will be like theraphy/learning to handle my panic attacks better. Sounds like a good idea to me.
When I can't sleep I watch movies... goes out for a smoke. Plays some games... and eventually around 4 AM I falls asleep. Oh yes, I also eat ice cream XD The weather is actually very cool this time of the year, at least here in Sweden. Around 10 pm it's a beautiful sunset. At 12 am you can still see the sun setting. At 2 am it's dark... and then around 3-4 am the sun goes up again.
We all have bright and dark sides. My dark side is... trying to control me, and it does sometimes. I don't like to lose control, because then I have no idea what will happen. And it's hart to talk or describe what happens to me when I lose control, because it's not me who do all the bad stuff. I think a little demon lives inside my head. IT speaks to me and building up horrible imaginations that eventually drags me down to a panic attack... and then I loose control.
I get mentally tired of fight with myself all the time. Sometimes I win... sometimes I lose.
I just wanna be happy, but it's hard to be.
That's it from me. Now I will try to sleep. Good night!
Well... from on and off my life goes UP and DOWN. When I'm down I go through my own hell... it's not very nice.
Not so long go I decided to contact a doctor to see what she could do for me. We had a little chat through phone and she gave me a new medicine to try. This medicine would make my panic attacks be smaller and not so BIG (if you know what I mean).
I have taken the medicine for now almost 3 weeks.
Yes, I feel different... but the side effects is that I can't sleep, have dry throat and don't feel like eating. I am eating, but I don't feel like it. And I had panic attacks too after taken the medicine, but they're not so big.
Anyway... my doctor told me to contact a physiotherapist, to help me with breathing, concetration etc. etc.
It will be like theraphy/learning to handle my panic attacks better. Sounds like a good idea to me.
When I can't sleep I watch movies... goes out for a smoke. Plays some games... and eventually around 4 AM I falls asleep. Oh yes, I also eat ice cream XD The weather is actually very cool this time of the year, at least here in Sweden. Around 10 pm it's a beautiful sunset. At 12 am you can still see the sun setting. At 2 am it's dark... and then around 3-4 am the sun goes up again.
We all have bright and dark sides. My dark side is... trying to control me, and it does sometimes. I don't like to lose control, because then I have no idea what will happen. And it's hart to talk or describe what happens to me when I lose control, because it's not me who do all the bad stuff. I think a little demon lives inside my head. IT speaks to me and building up horrible imaginations that eventually drags me down to a panic attack... and then I loose control.
I get mentally tired of fight with myself all the time. Sometimes I win... sometimes I lose.
I just wanna be happy, but it's hard to be.
That's it from me. Now I will try to sleep. Good night!