Title: In His Music Box
Chapters: 1/2
Author: Reila [
toychest_murder]
Genre: AU, fluff.
Warnings: Language, sexual references, incest.
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Reita/Tara
Band(s): the GazettE & ex-176BIZ/PANIC☆ch.
Synopsis: Little did he know that the perfect world he had grown to love, the one he built with Reita, would come crashing down and lay waste at his feet..
Comments: I got this idea from listening to In Her Music Box by Atmosphere. Just to clear this up, Reita and Tara are brothers, so if you can't handle incest, please don't read. Saga from alice nine. is also in this fanfiction as another brother of theirs; please don't comment me saying, "They're not brothers!" or "This is disgusting!" Also, this story is about their childhood; it skips through years to present day. Dedicated to
dreamsoflust.
It was the same ritual every morning, whether it was rain or shine, something that was shared between the two of them since Reita had gotten his driver's permit two years ago. They would wake up, Reita letting Tara sleep in a little more as he prepared breakfast for them and Saga, before he went into the room to wake up the youngest so he could eat. Tara would rub his eyes in the way that would make his big brother smile before he let him carry him to the dining room table, sitting him down next to them so they could eat. Soon after they were done, Reita would wash their dishes before helping Tara get ready, saving him from throwing together a mismatched outfit that kids were prone to do by picking out his clothes, allowing him to dress himself. After dressing, he would sit Tara down in front of the television while he combed his hair, Saga usually waking up around then and eating the food that was left for him before dressing himself for school and walking out after an exchange of sneers between him and Reita. Tara had learned to got used to them bickering since their parents died, focusing his attention on the cartoon show that Reita had turned on for him. By the time Saga left, they would both be ready to head out for their usual morning ride, Reita doing whatever it was he does while Tara played in the backseat, too lost in his imaginary world that he secretly shared with his big brother.
The young boy never knew the type of work Reita did, unaware that he was hustling to get their broken family by. In his eyes, Reita was a star, one that outshone everyone else, unable to do any wrong. Plenty of times, they would get pulled over by cops, those moments alerting him that his big brother wasn't up to any good; even then, with the way Reita always managed to get out of the policemen's grasp (with the help of Tara smiling at them, a shy politeness always surrounding him at how they cooed over how cute he was), he just proved that he was more amazing than what people gave him credit for. He would watch as cop after cop allowed them to leave, only for his big brother to start up with his work not even fifteen minutes later. Every now and then, he'd see glimpses of packages, some containing a white powder while others held what looked like the spices he saw Reita cook with. He never asked what he was doing, or what they were, much too wrapped up in his imagination and his toys to really care. As long as he was around Reita, he was happy. Tara loved riding around with him, the music he'd hear from the radio lulling him to sleep, especially if Reita was singing along. His dreams were never as special as he heard, often remembering when one of Reita's old girlfriends used to go on about loving to sleep because of the endless possibilities dreams brought. He'd couldn't understand why she would say such a thing; as far as he was concerned, nothing was impossible whenever he and Reita were together the way they always were.
Tara wasn't entirely sure how he and Reita had gotten so close; he was the outcast of the family, always outshined by his older brothers, but not once did he ever harbor ill feelings towards them. Always in the shadows, he played by himself in a corner with his toys, overlooked by his parents, who fussed over his brothers without so much as a glance to him. He didn't mind it; his imagination was allowed to grow, the imaginary friends he had helping him in creating his make-believe world. Soon, though, Reita had noticed the way Tara had been neglected, spending more and more time with him every chance he got. The young boy had been confused at first, his intuition making him weary of his intentions. Perhaps it was the lack of attention that made him hesitate, but he soon realized that his guard was melting away, becoming dependant on Reita. He had grown used to the blonde taking him to different places, his friends often reprimanding him for bringing someone so young along, but before Tara could even apologize, Reita would step in and come to his rescue, saying he wanted him there; the look in his eyes was proof enough to believe him.
He was grateful for the time they spent together, often finding himself feeling lost and incredibly lonely whenever Reita would take off to some job that was a mystery to Tara. He would settle himself in Reita's room on those nights, curling up with his Jack Skellington doll, and eventually falling asleep to the music playing on MTV that he had become accustomed to listening to in Reita's car. And in the middle of the night, he'd wake up to his brother's arm wrapped around his body securely even in his sleep, and his quiet, almost silent snores. It made him feel safe.
Little did he know that the perfect world he had grown to love, the one he built with Reita, would come crashing down and lay waste at his feet. He had been working on the assignment Reita had given him (he was home-schooled at his own request), when he heard a dish break, followed by angry voices. Unable to keep his curiosity at bay, Tara got up and walked out into the living room, standing in the doorway and watching the argument that had flared up between his two brothers, arriving in time to hear Reita's frustrated growl.
"I'm sick of this!" He hissed to Saga, both unaware of Tara's presence like usual. "I do whatever I can to support this family, and your ungrateful ass bitches about it! I can never win with you!"
"You fucking sell drugs, Reita!" Saga shot back. "And with our little brother in the car! That's fucking smart. I dropped out of school to get a real job; if you truly cared about Tara like you say you do, then I suggest you do the same!"
"I've tried--"
"Bullshit! You're more concerned about spending time with him!"
"Who else is going to give him the time of day? You?!" growled Reita. "You've only cared about yourself! If mom and dad ever gave their attention to anyone else, God forbid you allowed that to happen without you throwing a fucking fit! You've always pushed Tara away, and made everyone else do the same! That's why you're so pissed off about it; I gave him my attention despite your constant whines that you love throwing when you want to act like an attention whore!"
"Get out," Saga said venomously. "Get the fuck out! I'll take care of Tara, and I'll do a better fucking job than you ever did!"
"See what I mean? You're doing this out of your selfish desire to prove me wrong, to be better than me. Good luck with that, Takashi."
Reita didn't give Saga time to respond. He had turned his back on him, and in that moment, Tara realized what was happening. He ran towards Reita when he opened the door, Saga quickly catching him to keep him inside and preventing any attempt to chase after him. Tears had fallen, pouring out before he even realized that he had been on the verge of crying, watching helplessly as Reita headed to his car without a glance back. Maybe he'll return once he realized that Tara was right there...had he momentarily forgotten about him? It was possible, people often losing sight of what was around them in the heat of the moment; Tara knew that all too well.
"Akira-onii!" He cried out desperately, the tears falling down his delicate cheeks faster when he saw him get into the car. He continued struggling against Saga's grasp, wanting to bring his brother back. They could work it out; they always have before in the past, hadn't they? Reita would leave, but that was usually to cool down, taking long walks to smoke a couple of cigarettes...He'll surely be back later, right? He had to...
"Akira!" Tara called out pleadingly. He watched as the car sped away, one more weak cry of his older brother's real name, and that was it, he knew. There was nothing he could do; there was no turning back. Everything had fallen apart right before his eyes, tore at the seams and forced him to learn one of life's harshest lessons. No matter how many times he replayed it in his mind, he couldn't change that one, life-destroying reality...
Reita was gone.
*****
Tara had spent every night in Reita's room since that day, falling asleep with his older brother's blanket clutched to his chest in hopes of his return, wanting to wake up and find him sleeping next to him. After a few weeks, however, he found his hope slowly dissipating as every night, he woke up to an empty bed. It left him feeling more alone than he had ever been in his life; how could something that felt so right go so wrong in a blink of an eye? That's life, of course...It had a funny way of making you feel like you're on cloud nine, only to make you realize that you had been falling through that endless blue sky until you hit rock bottom.
Days had turned into months, and months into years since he had last seen Reita, making him release the possibility of ever hearing from him. Saga soon left a few months after Reita, Tara shipped off to his aunt's, unable to take care of himself. He was grateful to her for taking him in and nearly drowning him in her sweet and caring personality, repaying her by remaining at the top of his class, or else helping around the house. Even through her generosity, he still missed his brothers despite how broken their family had been. He was frustrated with them, wishing they were mature enough to push their differences aside to make their situation work, but deep down inside, he knew that analyzing what they could have done wouldn't change the outcome. All he was able to do was pray they would meet up again.
It was that tiny shred of hope that was enough to get him through school. He was immediately outcast by everyone the moment he entered high school, his quiet nature making him an incredibly easy target. Rumors about him and his past spread like wildfire through the school without him ever saying a single word, surprised at how much of it was true. Within a few months, he felt like a spotlight was following his every move, forcing his peers' attention on him whenever they walked by one another. He longed for the days that he had been home-schooled, wanting nothing better than to hide in his room with Reita by his side, helping him with his work whenever he was stuck on a problem.
Reita...that's what it always came down to, making him and Saga proud, even if they didn't know of his achievements. All he had to do was think of them, and he'd gain the strength to make it through another torturous day alone. He knew, though, that his defenses were wearing down, his stamina unable to last much longer, leaving him to slowly crack underneath every new rumor, each more vicious than the last. Tara would often find himself longing to break free of his academic prison, hurrying towards the gates of freedom that enclosed the school once the final bell rang, signaling the end of the day. He'd practically fly out of class the moment his teacher dismissed them, his feet carrying him without much thought as to who or what was around him, that was until he had bumped into him.
Saga looked much different than when he had last seen him, his black hair dyed a light blonde and his clothes tighter than usual, along with a lip piercing and make-up upon his smooth face; Tara almost didn't recognize him, had it not been for his voice and those blue eyes. He never would've thought that he'd bump into him, of all people, after school, both shocked and surprised to see each other. A quick embrace had been given before they chatted away to what they have been doing the past couple of years, ending in Saga inviting Tara to live with him again. Hesitation had filled the younger boy, the fear of being walked away again, from his brothers leaving him behind, but he quickly agreed, unable to resist the temptation of living with him after hoping for contact with either of them after such a long time. Saga seemed thrilled, Tara noticed, to have his little brother back with him, the few years they've been apart showing the younger how much they had matured.
In a few days time, Tara had moved into Saga's, quickly settling himself into his room that already felt like a safe haven to him. He had met Saga's boyfriend, whom ironically had a younger brother that not only looked nearly identical to him, but was one of Tara's bullies from school, as well as a few of his friends when they decided to drop by unannounced, listening to them babble about something that had happened with someone of importance to them. He kept to his room most of the time, listening to the muffled sounds coming from other rooms while he kept his nose in his books, grateful that Saga kept everyone away from him while he studied. Time and time again, he'd hear the knock on the door or the ring of the bell, the door opening before and the usual greeting of squeals and laughter knocking against the wall in an attempt to fill his ears before he'd hear the muffled, "Where's Tara-chan at?" that was followed by Saga's usual explination of studying, along with how proud he was of him.
It made Tara feel great, hearing how his older brother was proud. He never thought that those two little words would ever give him more motivation to succeed, but here he was, finishing his classes with a 4.5 GPA as well as honors for his outstanding work. Tara smiled to himself for the umpteenth time that day as he listened to Saga tell the person on the other end of the phone that a ceremony was going to take place within the next two weeks, Tara receiving quite a few awards, and how he couldn't figure out what to wear. His soft brown eyes gazed down at the textbooks laid across his desk, his pile of notes in front of him while he wrote a few key facts he'd need for upcoming tests and finals. He heard Saga hang up the phone, the TV turned on before he placed his full attention upon his studies.
He wasn't sure how much time had passed since Saga had fallen quiet, nor did he realize that there had been a knock on the door until he heard his older brother's voice. A frown formed on Tara's lips when he heard the strange tone Saga had before his octave dropped low enough that he couldn't make out what was being said. His curiousity was beginning to get the best of him, the soft murmurs nagging at him to see what was going on. He was able to resist for only a few more minutes before he gave into temptation. With his dexterious fingers setting his book aside, he slipped out of his chair before he opened his door, the distant role of thunder clearly reaching his ears from the living room's open window.
"Saga, just let us stay here...just for tonight! That's all we ask."
"You're putting me on the spot here..." Saga's voice was quiet, full of concern; Tara stopped before he reached the end of the hallway, remaining silent as he listened to the conversation. After a long pause, he heard his older brother sign in defeat, the war within him obviously coming to an end as he made a decision. "Fine."
Tara took that chance to walk out, though the sight that greeted him caused him to stop in his tracks, his eyes wide. Reita...could he be dreaming? Was he really in front of him after so long? He stared at the blonde dumbstruck, too amazed to let his presence be known. It was when Reita turned to look at him did he snap out of his reverie, his heart stopping as their gazes locked on to one another. He saw the shift of Reita's demeanor immediately, the way his eyes softened as he saw how much Tara had grown, and knew that his brother read the look in his own eyes. For so long, he dreamt of this day, meeting up with the missing piece of their family puzzle...All he could hear in his mind were the words that seemed to refused to leave his lips; I missed you.
He barely noticed that someone else was there with them, someone he knew that had been a family friend for as far back as he could remember, barely realized that both Tora and Saga turned to look at him the moment Reita did...No, all he could see was his eldest brother; he was the only one who mattered at that point.
"Reita-onii..."
To be continued...
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