anger management problems again?
As I was handing out an order to the last car of the night tonight, a homeless guy was hovering around the drive-thru window picking up change and begging for something you couldn't quite hear, which I guess would be anything we were willing to give. He tried to talk to me, and I tried to close the sliding window, but he blocked it with his hand, and oh, God. I told him if he didn't leave, I would call the cops, and then I slammed his hand in the window attempting to close and lock it as I'm required to do at close. The people in the car who were preparing to drive away into the night looked at us with this horrified look on their faces.
I must have hurt his hand, and it must have been humiliating for him.
I cried for the next ten minutes because of this.
I really wish grown men wouldn't ask me for money. I work my ass of making slightly over minimum wage, and struggle to never have to rely on someone else to survive. I come from a dirt-poor family. I'm trying to earn a degree, make a life for myself, and save up so my little sister won't have to go through the same shit that I did, so that maybe I can help out my parents so they don't have to work right up until the day they die. I spend very freely if someone I care about is short on cash for lunch or something. But some old guy is wandering the streets asking for handouts? And just happened to have his hand in the wrong place after a stressful night of dealing with drunk drivers or stoners who are starving? I really don't know how to take all this. I don't know how to file it away into a neat little portion of my brain surrounded by rational thoughts. All I can feel is terrible about the whole thing.
I must have hurt his hand, and it must have been humiliating for him.
I cried for the next ten minutes because of this.
I really wish grown men wouldn't ask me for money. I work my ass of making slightly over minimum wage, and struggle to never have to rely on someone else to survive. I come from a dirt-poor family. I'm trying to earn a degree, make a life for myself, and save up so my little sister won't have to go through the same shit that I did, so that maybe I can help out my parents so they don't have to work right up until the day they die. I spend very freely if someone I care about is short on cash for lunch or something. But some old guy is wandering the streets asking for handouts? And just happened to have his hand in the wrong place after a stressful night of dealing with drunk drivers or stoners who are starving? I really don't know how to take all this. I don't know how to file it away into a neat little portion of my brain surrounded by rational thoughts. All I can feel is terrible about the whole thing.