*011: The ‘Mean Reds’ and Tsunamis
The ‘Mean Reds’ and Tsunamis
Has anyone ever felt real ‘Fear’?
Not the kind that you get when you get nervous about making a mistake in a play or performance. Not the kind you get when you are about to tell your parents that you failed at Math for the second time. It isn’t the fear you get when you’re about to ask a girl or guy you like out either. I mean the Fear--- that makes those other fears feel like child’s play.
To be honest, I am not really afraid of dying but the feeling of being powerless really leaves me feeling weak. You can call it ’The Mean Reds’ if you like. Maybe it isn’t how it is supposed to mean in the book, but it is close.
When I read the news about the Tsunami, I felt a variety of things. Shock, sadness, enlightenment and fear. I have always thought this, but I never really voiced it in my journal before, but I am always thinking of how fragile Human Life is. That is why I always to be happy everyday. It is a bit sad to keep this optimistic attitude after reading about the possible hundreds that died in Japan. At this very second, someone is probably crying their hearts out because they lost a parent, lover--- or even a friend. I already went through that before and I don’t want to go through it again. So, just thinking about someone else going through it is still sad.
People there are desperately calling their friends and loved ones asking if they are okay. Praying that they are alive and shaking in fear when someone doesn’t respond. Rejoicing when they do. But--- what happens if they never do?
This morning, I sat by the window and watched the sun rise. I kept thinking about how those people felt. What if last night a Tsunami hit us and there was no way to know because the night was pitch black? My heart began to beat fast and then I thought, “Was this how they felt? Was this even a piece of how those people were feeling?”
And those who are left homeless and cold on the streets. I wondered if they were watching the same sunrise as me. Were they happy to see the sunrise? Or did they curse it? It can not easy to smile again after losing so much.
It is during times like this that makes me feel ridiculous when I think about the times long ago when I used to complain when my driver was late taking me to school or the times I used to complain when I didn’t like what we had for dinner. Or the time I demanded for a new cell phone because I didn’t like what I had that time. I am proud to say that I don’t do this anymore, but I cannot help but feel bad when I remember it.
Now these people have nothing… or almost nothing left.
I know Japan will stand up from this. They always do. They have experienced a lot worse I believe. It will take time, but it will happen. Still, it is a very sad time. Many people were taken away by the powers of nature. The one power in the world, we have no control over. We an avoid it but not control it.
As I watched the sunrise this morning, I was talking with my sister. We kept looking back at the Revelations. I read it back when I was in High school. Back then, I greatly enjoyed reading the bible and read it for fun. I told my sister honestly that I was not afraid of dying, but I was afraid of the feeling of hopelessness knowing it something I cannot control anymore than I could control air. I jokingly called it, ‘The Mean Reds.’ I am not sure if she understood what I mean.
All these wars, natural disasters--- it makes us wonder. Is something else coming?
If something is… are you ready for it?